Adam Lyones And Gambler On PUA Techniques
In this post you will be reading not only from Adam Lyones but also from Gambler and many other experts. So let’s get started
I’ve got a really funny thing about mindset. I always find it so much easier to build the mindset when everything around me is in place to create it. So for example, if I really want to go out for a night on the town and meet women, then I would actually much rather start it off with a group of girls.
One of the easiest ways of doing that is to join your local gym. Take a cardio-kickboxing or dance class. You’re not going there to meet the girls; you’re going there for the exercise with the benefit of meeting girls. You’re going to find most of them can be very chatty. You’re going to get talking to them and then you can arrange post workout drinks one evening or a trip a local restaurant or bar. If you are going out with the girls, it’s so much easier to get into a mindset of going out and talking to people when you’re actually going with a group of girls in the first place. Plus, all the other people in the area are going to be much more interested in talking to you because of preselection. So I just find one of the easiest ways to get that mindset when you’ve got to meet women is to go out with women.
I’ve actually got a mate who sings before he goes out. He’ll drive into the city before we head out and he turns on his favorite song and sings. There are some guys I know who like to listen to “Eye of the Tiger” – a really pumping sort of song to get them into the state and to get them in the mood or the mindset to go out and have fun. I’ve got guys who play the guitar because they have a ready guitar and they have a jam session. After they finish, they feel fantastic. They feel really pumped. They feel happy to go out and meet women. So you really want to do something you enjoy before going out.
I used to sing as well. I was trained as an opera singer. Before I went out, I usually just sang my favorite tune. I used to just really let it all out and I used to feel fantastic and really good. When I went out, I felt pumped, and it’s easy. If you go out and you’re depressed and you haven’t been out for a while, and you haven’t had much social contact or you haven’t talked with your mates for a while, it’s kind of hard to get into the state. And you don’t really feel like talking to anyone, so do something you enjoy before you head out. It definitely helps.
The one thing that I really have been preaching lately, and that I actually use when I’m out now, not even meeting girls but even just networking and trying to connect with different people, is the concept of curiosity. It lets you get outside of your own head. That’s what’s really important about mindset – you can’t be in your own head. You can’t be thinking about how you’re feeling or what you want or what you have to do. So by being curious about everything around you, it allows you to stay involved in a moment. You should also practice this consciously. There’s a personality type called the “Othello personality” and this personality type is the best type for reaching the state – some people may know it as “flow,” where you are just basically in the zone. And you reach that by becoming fully engaged in everything you do. This means, whether you’re washing the dishes, you’re at work at a boring job, or you’re out hitting on chicks, you’ve got to learn to have fun with everything you’re doing and not be constantly in your head thinking about, “Oh, man. I’d rather be doing this, or I rather be doing that.” The guys that really do well with women have this Othello personality where they’re able to enjoy any situation.
This is pretty simple. Listen to some great music that pumps you up. Tell yourself that you’re in the mood to meet new people and have an adventure tonight and that no matter what happens you’re happy that you got out there and tried – do this before you go out.
Also, focus NOT on meeting a girl or taking her home and nailing her, but instead focus on something you can directly control. Focus your outcome on saying “I will make somebody smile tonight if it’s the last thing I do.” Have the outcome that you’re going to meet at least one new person no matter what. That’s something you can control and the good news is, good things usually come from outcomes like that … and adventure.
Well, what I do is I change the reason that I go out. I don’t go out to pick up women. I don’t go out to get laid. I go out to have fun, and I go out to amuse myself. And I go out to have a great time, and I go out to help other people have fun. That’s huge. The moment that I started doing that, there was an avalanche of women and an avalanche of sex which is why I’m always pursued. I never pursue women. I’ve never had to since then because they find that so alluring and attractive that they come after me. So the number one thing is change the reason you go out. Change it to having fun, helping others have fun, and just go out and have a blast.
Number two, I visualize my night before I go out. So during the week, if I’m going out on Friday I’m already thinking about how great Friday night is going to be. I’m visualizing all the crazy off the wall stuff that usually happens to me is going to happen to me again, such as having a girl come up and ask to make out with me as soon as I walk in the door.
So then on Friday, I’m still running that through my head and I’m really psyching myself up. Right before I walk into a place, I will say – the phrase that me and my friends say as we walk in is – “Showtime!” And we get all really psyched up when we walk into a place with an explosion of energy. We don’t hesitate because we used to have horrible approach anxiety, too. And now, we just start talking to people. It makes such a big difference. And we tell ourselves, while we’re walking around, how all the women in here want us. I mean, it must be tough for them because they’re all competing for us because we are the sexiest guys in here. And I teach that to all my very average and below average looking clients, and it works really well for them and in fact I learned that from very average looking guys, so that’s what we do.