In this post we are going to discuss some of the most common drugs and sex related teen girl problems. We will take a look at some of the questions and then at their answers.

My brother might be addicted to drugs. What should I do?

girls and drugs

Help me, I don’t know who else to ask! I think my older brother has a drug problem. I don’t want to tell my parents, as I know they’ll go mad. I suspect he’s smoked weed since he was about 14, and a month or so ago he admitted he takes ecstacy most weekends at the clubs he goes to. But lately I’m worried he might be taking even harder drugs because of some of the things I’ve seen his friends post on Twitter. The other night I was up late watching a film and he came home and could barely speak. He slumped against the wall in the living room and I got scared. I’m starting to dread the weekends because I never know what kind of state I’m going to see him in. Mum and dad go to bed early so it’s unlikely they will ever see him like this! What do I do?

Solutions

Your brother is putting you in a very difficult position. I understand that you don’t want to get him into trouble but you really need to confide in your parents now, as it sounds very serious. Drugs like cannabis (or weed) are often called gateway drugs because they can lead on to taking stronger ones, so your suspicions could be right. If you are living in a state of constant anxiety and worry, then your brother’s actions are not just affecting him but they are making things tough for you, too. Sit down with your parents and tell them everything you know. It sounds like he needs professional help as soon as possible.

It happened to me

I started going to unlicensed ‘free parties’ when I was only 14 because the age restrictions are not as tight as regular clubs, so it was easy to get in. At first it was great; I could dance all night and I met a really diverse crowd of people. I was against the whole idea of drugs and it didn’t even occur to me that people were taking them! Over time I realised that most of the crowd I was with took drugs, and, to be honest, it stopped seeming like such a bad idea. It just looked to me that all my friends were having a fantastic time! So one night I took a tab of ecstasy with a guy I knew called Phil. But instead of making me want to dance all night and giving me confidence to chat to people, it made me throw up repeatedly, all over the floor, in front of everyone. I was mortified. Somehow I got home and the next day I told my mum what had happened. She was horrified at first but glad I was brave enough to be so honest with her. Truthfully, I’ve learned my lesson. It was only the once, but it’s an experience I will never forget – and never repeat!

Sylvie, 16

Should I stay a virgin?

virgin girls

One of my best friends at school claims to have lost her virginity. I feel like there’s so much pressure to have sex today, but I really don’t think I’m ready to take that leap yet. Is it OK to stay a virgin for as long as I like? Or should I just ‘do it’ to get it out of the way so that I know what it feels like?

Answer

The truth is that you (and possibly your friend?) are under the age of consent to have sex and so it would be illegal. But also, think about this sitation. Most girls of your age feel exactly the same way as you do. And there’s a possibility that your friend is making it up so that she doesn’t look like she’s being ‘left behind’. At 15 years old it is unlikely that you are ready for the emotional issues that a sexual relationship can bring, not to mention protecting yourself from pregnancy and STIs – this is why the law is in place to safeguard you. My advice is this: you are not ready for sex and that is perfectly normal. It is absolutely the best thing for you to wait until you meet someone you really like. For now, concentrate on being a 15 year old girl – all that other stuff will follow in its own time, and you’ll know when it’s right for you.

All You Need To Know About Sex

sex education

In our highly connected world, there can be enormous pressures on teens to know about sex and sexuality on the one hand, while remaining safe and protected on the other.

Your body develops at an alarming rate during puberty and as if that wasn’t awkward enough, all of a sudden your family (and sometimes your friends) feel at liberty to make comments about your changing body, your height, weight, shoe size, or your developing curves.

As if that wasn’t enough to cope with, the subject of sex soon crops up on the horizon, at home, at school, and of course, among your friends. Many teens hate the idea of discussing sex, but let’s face it, there are an awful lot of myths out there about what sex is and what it isn’t. Some of these myths are downright scary and others can result in you coming to harm or getting pregnant. So reliable sex education in schools, or from your parents, or a recommended magazine or website can be an amazing resource, and advice on sexually transmitted infections (STIs), your menstrual cycle and contraception, is advice that will help you through your teenage years and beyond.

The age of consent to have sex is 16 in the UK, which means that it is illegal for any male to have sex with a girl who is under 16 years of age. But being 16 does not mean that you need to lose your virginity. Ignore people who ask you or tease you about whether you are a virgin or not. It’s none of their business. Take your time to meet the right person and having sex will seem like a natural part of your relationship. You’ll probably be in love with the guy, you’ll feel pretty comfortable in your own skin and confident that you can cope if there’s the odd problem.

The issue of whether you are gay or not is one of the most common fears in teenagers. While most of us go on to have a definite preference in our relationships, it can be useful to note that our sexuality is rarely clear cut and our feelings can fluctuate. This doesn’t mean that we necessarily will have sexual relationships with both sexes, but that the majority of us are capable of feeling intimate or passionate about both men and women.

Please also remember that when you do reach the age of consent and start having sex, nobody should force you into doing things you dislike or that make you feel uncomfortable. It’s ALWAYS right to say no to something that, instinctively, you feel is not right for you. Follow your head!

Remember also, that when you are above the age of consent and start to have sex, you need to practise SAFE sex. Condoms are the easiest to access and one of the most effective forms of protection. They fit over the boy’s penis and prevent his semen from passing into your body and risking pregnancy. But condoms are also useful in protecting you from catching STIs such as chlamydia, herpes, genital warts, pelvic inflammatory disorder and HIV/AIDS that can affect your health and fertility.

Sex is a big deal in your teens and beyond, and you owe it to yourself to get the best advice possible.