Let me tell you a story to illustrate this point. What I see so many guys do is come up for an excuse for anything. I remember standing with a client having a conversation at Whole Foods. A woman passed by us, and he commented on how pretty she was and how he thought the bracelet she was wearing was really cool. So, I looked at him and said “Well why don’t you go talk to her about that, tell her how cool her bracelet is?” His response? He basically said “She doesn’t look like she wants to be disturbed right now; she looks like she’s shopping.”

He continued on with what was basically a list of excuses. Sound familiar? Have you been in this situation before?

I looked at him, and I said “All of the stuff that you’re doing, all the excuses that you’re planting in your head, is NOT what she’s thinking, because you have NO IDEA what she’s thinking. If you knew what she was thinking, you and I wouldn’t be standing here right now, you and I would be picking the next winning lottery ticket, or I’d fly you down to Vegas and put money on the next team to win the Super Bowl…”

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I then told him, “I’m going to show you that all of the stuff that you’re thinking is just your fears preventing you from actually going out and meeting the people you want to meet.” So, I walked directly over to her, where she was in the produce section checking out the broccoli. I looked at her and I go “That is a really cool bracelet.” Exactly what my client had been thinking.

She looked at me… “You think?”

I replied, “Yes, it caught my attention. Where’d you get it?”

She said, “Africa” and we then spent the next few few minutes talking about the African trip she just returned from . . .

After I had excused myself, I walked back to my client and explained how I don’t have those excuses anymore. I don’t have that programming. I don’t think I know what other people are thinking or what other people are feeling. I just know that when I want to go talk to somebody, I just do it. And the only thing your fears are doing is keeping you in your shell and preventing you from meeting great new people. These fears are not helping you and what’s more, they’ve become your crutch.

I hope you now realize that your excuses are just your fears. And once you get this, you’ll start to look at them and laugh. So go back and reread all the excuses you wrote down. Make a mental note to yourself that next time you hear one of these pop in your head, you’re going to recognize it for what it is, an excuse that’s preventing you from being the man you want to be.

Once you are able to do this, we can really move forward and begin your journey to start transforming yourself into a natural. It all begins with not listening to these fears and allowing me to teach you a whole new mindset in the next post.