Today you will read what relationship and dating experts have to say about approach and conversation anxiety. You are also going to learn some of the finest attraction techniques. Let’s get started.

Vin DiCarlo Shares His Advice On Approach And Conversation Anxiety

Again, this is all a mindset thing. Because think about it: everyone in the world has SOMEONE they can talk to fluidly without having anxiety. Maybe it’s your best friend or maybe it’s someone at work.

The only difference is your own perception of what you’re doing. Are you using a fake agenda to sneak into a girls pants and take something from her that she doesn’t want you to have?

Or are you talking to someone because you have an AMAZING gift to give her and you want to find out if she’s worthy of receiving it or not.

no more conversation anxiety

Think about if you were Ed McMahon and it was your job to tell a woman she just won a cruise to the Bahamas or that you are going to give her a Coach bag. You want to postpone that and RELISH it. Think about teasing a cat with catnip.

You’ve got this amazing thing and you know at any moment you can give it to her and instantly make her day. You can give her amazing pleasure and happiness whenever you want, but you don’t want to give it to her right away. What happens when someone tells you the ending of a movie? It’s called ruining the movie. The best part of the movie isn’t the ending; it’s the anticipation and not knowing what’s going to happen.

So you play with it. You want to make it interesting. You want to give her an experience beforehand and relish the anticipation. So naturally in that situation you’re going to flirt and have fun with her, and you’ll naturally have a sense of humor.

In the next question, I’ll show you how to keep things exciting without becoming her “entertainer” and putting a lot of work and effort into the interaction. Here’s a hint – you’re going to make HER do all the work and get her to CHASE YOU.

Action Jackson Talks About Playful Teasing And Role Playing To Kill Conversation Anxiety

I use a lot of playful teasing and role playing, or anything that I think is fun, because if I’m having fun and she’s not, then it’s her problem. I’m not sitting there trying to entertain her. I’m entertaining myself and having fun and playing with her and teasing with her. If she’s not buying into it, then that’s her problem. I tell my guys to actually memorize prescripted routines, if they have to. What’s interesting is a lot of guys think using pre-scripted routines is dishonest or deceitful, but the problem is they’re being totally unreasonable because what a lot of people don’t understand is the science behind what you’re calling conversation anxiety.

There is actually a specific type of neurotransmitter in our brain called norepinephrine, and when we feel like we’re in a threatened situation, we have that fight or flight response and our norepinephrine levels actually rise. When this happens our brain basically becomes paralyzed and we’re not able to think of what to do or say next.

So I’m actually a big fan of memorized routines and anecdotes and there are so many of them out there that are great. If you’re using any prescripted routine and she calls you out, tell her about the norepinephrine and the chemical reaction that paralyzes our brains. After that she’s hooked: “Oh, I totally understand. I get that.” And it’s absolutely pristine.

Bill Preston Teaches ‘What To Say Next To A Girl After The Opener’

Making the transition is probably the hardest thing about meeting, approaching, hooking up with and being successful with women. There is a lot of anxiety out there. Really, you’ve have to have a game plan.

how to confidently talk to women

In “The Vibe,” I teach multiple games you can play to get past that. You can instantly say “Hey, this is a really fun game and go right into it.”

And living in the villages in New York, there is always a story: maybe about this crazy guy pushing a shopping cart. There is always a fun story and you should always have a story to immediately transition into. You can talk about something you did in the future or in the past. Or you can say you have been wondering what kind of vacation to go on. You can talk about what you are doing this week and ask her where her last vacation was – something that can get you guys out of the bar.

Another thing I do – I cover this in “The Vibe” – but there are four escalation questions you can ask. They are really simple. Of course I don’t use them as an opener; I use them in the transition. So you can say “Let’s say that you are only allowed to have one type of food for the rest of your life, what food would you choose? And don’t say chocolate because you’ll get sick of it in three days. And let’s say that food will be 100% nutritionally complete. What food would you choose?”

And she has probably never heard that question and it is interesting. She’ll think about all the foods she likes and it’s just a fun game to completely engage somebody and literally isolate them instantly.

Lance Mason Talks About ‘Charismatic Conversations’

Yeah, our most popular product by far even if I’m not really doing much to sell it is called “Charismatic Conversations.” It’s a three day event that we did and we talked about everything we know about conversation, about how to be funny, how to ask a girl out for a date, how to interpret things women say. It just made me realize how guys are hung up on the conversation. And a lot of guys think they need to just have a normal conversation or they think they need to learn these really long, complicated routines. By knowing little, tiny conversational threads you can throw in makes the conversation interesting, makes the conversation flirtatious. And I call that banter; some people call it cocky comedy or whatever.

There are a million ways to do it, but it’s all about role playing. I will hire and fire women. If I see a woman in the supermarket, I’ll grab something off the shelf and say, “Hey, do you know how to cook this?” And if she does, you say “Kick ass, you are so hired as my personal chef.” She’ll say, “Oh my God, awesome!” And then you get to fire her later. I’ll just stand and kind of look at women disapprovingly and I’ll say, “You know what? I’m afraid I’m going to have to discontinue your services.” And women always freak out because they don’t even know what services are being discontinued, but they always freak out.

how not to be afraid of talking to girls

So these little things about adopting women or firing them or hiring them, or you can say, “You know, is that all you got?” So you just want to do those little things. I think that little things are a lot bigger and a lot more effective than these elaborate stories people are trying to tell.

Joseph Matthews Teaching Fish And Hook Method To Kill Approach Anxiety And Attract Women

I like to call it the fish and hook method. It’s basically just doing a question and answer deal where you ask the girl a question and you get her answer. And if you can relate to her answer, you then tell a story from your own life about that answer. My friend taught me this. He would say “Where you from?” And the girl says “Chicago.” He would say “Oh man, I grew up in Chicago. Let me tell you one time I was in Chicago, I had the best pizza in the world. Have you ever been into Deli Gano’s on 3rd Street?”

photo for conversation skills

So he’d ask questions and no matter what the girl’s answer was, he would have a story for it. You’re sharing experiences or interests that you both have. I’ll keep asking questions until I find something I can latch on to and tell a story about it. You just keep doing that and before long the conversation just starts flowing naturally.

Drew Canole Teaches How To Ask Girls Questions To Keep Them Engaged And Attracred

It’s just asking them questions; questions that are relevant to them. If you just want a number, the questions should be getting a lead into the phone number. If you want to take them home, then definitely you should ask questions that will eliminate them quickly, such as if they have a friend they need to go back to or a boyfriend. It’s just getting the girl to talk. Women love to talk by nature. If they are not receptive and they are not talking and asking you questions back, then there is not a lot of interest out there. You need to create the interest, maybe change your approach up a little bit, maybe the humor that you are using isn’t the right type of humor; you can always switch that up.

But, it’s really not a lot to think about guys. When people say that they have conversation anxiety or approach anxiety, they are just thinking about it way too much. You just need to go in there and do it, over and over again till you become a master at it and that’s where the real confidence comes into play and you’ll have no anxiety whatsoever.