Exploring The Concept Of Alpha Male (How To Become One)
“Alpha: a domineering man; the dominant member in a group of males. Having the highest rank of its sex in a dominance hierarchy”
Although there are many different things which can attract women they are all centered around one focal point which makes them necessary to work and that thing is confidence.
At the end of the day, if you are trying to get a woman, confidence is what it comes down to.
Being the alpha male is all about bringing out your true and best self and using that as something that will give you value for a woman.
In this article we’re going to dive right in and put this concept to use full force.
This is the cornerstone of attraction; the alpha male. In order to achieve this massive overhaul however you are going to need to radically shift your whole belief system and be willing to look at your life with an open mind.
When it comes to attracting women you must understand that in the long run personality is everything, the most important part of this is a man’s alpha (or confidence) factor and how well he carries it.
Have you ever seen a guy who walked in to a room and just seemed to own the place? The instant he walked in every woman in the place took notice. Men who act as leaders and dominators are seen as the heads of the pack. The is a man with a high confidence.
As I said that sentence did you have an image in your mind of women getting attracted to that alpha male?
Women can pick up on, an intuitive level, whether a man is a genuine alpha male or not.
If you’re a really good at hiding it then it may take her a while but sooner or later if you are not the real deal she will catch on.
For the average man in most cases she can evaluate his behavior and within as little as a few moments of talking to him identify if his is an alpha male, a beta male, a provider or whatever other category he may fall in to.
This is why you need to always have your a-game on; you need to know that once she verifies your alpha status she is going to step up her own game as well to try and assess if you’re the real deal.
What’s going to get you in the door is your confidence.
Your confidence is the first thing that is going to set you apart from the rest of the men out there and get you a chance.
Bear in mind that logic states that the more attractive a woman is, the more valuable and pursued she is and therefore the more carefully she will screen potential partners.
I’d like, now, to start off this article by telling you something you already know…
IT’S OKAY TO BE A MAN
Did you get that?
It’s okay to be a man… it’s a good thing.
Because the more of a man you are the more a woman will be attracted to you?
and guess what?
The farther you go away from being a true alpha man the less women will be attracted to you.
The more alpha, confident, unapologetic and no-excuses you are the more a woman will be attracted to you.
Furthermore, the more you move away from that attitude and mindset the less a woman will be attracted to you.
Being Open Minded
For me this was one of the hardest things to do because the question becomes:
How do you know when you’re looking at life with a closed mind?
As much as I wish I could give you a blueprint for how to do this, learning to look at life with an open mind is an inescapability personal thing to do.
Let me provide you with an example though:
Someone who is closed-minded will tend to display signs of:
Shooting down others ideas because they are not within his frame of what is possible such as a Christian who tells you why Jesus is the only true answer and will not even listen to the ideas or theories of others.
Answering people’s opinions with the sole goal of proving them wrong.
Blaming anything but themselves for the results they are getting.
Telling others why they will fail at the mercy of their “illogical” beliefs.
For many of us, facing reality, our fears and approaching the unknown can be a scary thing the first time we do it.
Why do we do this are we scared of facing the truth?
Some reasons may include:
Fear of being wrong.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of change.
Fear of screwing up.
Fear of wasting time.
Fear of failure.
Fear of knowing the truth.
Fear of the unknown.
Are you beginning to notice a theme here?
You got it!
Every excuse for not facing what’s ahead of you is defined by one word:
What comes to your mind when you hear that word?
For myself I get an image of darkness and despair; clouds of black smoke swirling all around like spirit energy.
What’s ironic about this is that the place you envisioned is the place you’re going to end up if you let fear control you.
You get that?
If you are living in fear, you are living in whatever you just saw in your mind when you envisioned what that word meant for you.
This is why it is critically important that you part with any old habits that may be holding you back.
Any time you express one of these habits you are expressing fear and in doing so are making your body uncomfortable in some way.
What a paradox, by trying to stick to one belief and stay “safe” your creating more fear and pain for yourself.
So how do you break your habits? Well, the simplest way I can tell you to break habits is to do the following:
Find any point in your life at which you are uncomfortable with yourself in a situation and take time to really figure out what it is about your being in this situation that is making you uncomfortable.
Take responsibility for yourself. So few people I meet really, truly do this.
Don’t blame anyone else for your position, don’t make excuses for why your life is where it is and don’t depend on anyone or get upset that anyone else isn’t doing something for you; be independent.
Your Sexy Self
“You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.”
Here is a point almost all books on attraction, pick-up, seduction whatever you may call it overlook.
They teach you how to go out and meet women with little regard to finding inner happiness and contentment first.
How you feel about yourself is going to determine how successful you are with others and how ultimately happy and in control of your own life you are.
Some very common themes I found when I used to frequent the seduction forums were people always worrying about:
How to get their “one-itis” to like them.
What to say/do to keep a woman interested in them.
“I haven’t approached her but for three weeks she has touched her hair 122 times, played with her necklace 47 times and glanced over at me (I think 89 times).”
“I need to keep my “game” up or else I won’t be able to attract women.”
“I’m afraid to approach; what if she doesn’t like me?”
And we used to think attractive women were fragile, emotional and made of glass. I think we may need to reassess who the fragile, made of glass ones are.
People are always looking for what they need outside themselves to be happy. Don’t get me wrong here I think Learjet’s, yachts, BMWs and 10,000 square foot homes are wonderful however if you are not happy from within you are not going to be able to truly enjoy any of these things.
Think of a pick-up artist who trains and becomes a master at attracting women but is still miserable because he obsesses over perfecting each and every move and making sure he maintains his “values.”
He is so afraid of losing on the inside that he never really has time to relax, mellow out and enjoy the relationship because he is too busy trying to make absolutely certain he is presenting the right image so he won’t have to face failure.
Do you still think his woman is making him happy?
I would bet my bottom dollar he is miserable or something close it. Basically a guy has got to have his shit together before he can worry about other people.
I can tell you from personal experience why a guy in a great relationship isn’t happy… because I used to be that guy.
I used to be unhappy and figured that if I got a girlfriend I would be happy. But when I got a girlfriend I wasn’t happy – why? Because the only reason I got a girlfriend was to hide from my unhappiness and I knew if I lost her I’d be unhappy again.
I wasn’t happy to begin with and since she was making me happy I became addicted, needy and dependent on her and terribly in fear of losing her.
This is why it is critical that you be happy before you get a woman or sex or whatever… because then when you do get that thing you can simply enjoy it instead of being in fear of losing it.
You need to get yourself to arrive at that point where you can say:
“I’m happy already. I can enjoy her but not need her to make me happy.”
You have to realize that not every woman is going to love you and not everything is going to work out in your favor.
There are a number of things that will destroy you, most of which stem from having a driving inner need to win and make every move and most importantly:
HAVING A FEAR OF LOSS
Is going to prevent you from ever truly enjoying a relationship.
Now I’ve heard attracting woman get called a numbers game more times than I can count on 12 hands but you should not think of it this way because you are thinking in terms of a win:lose ratio.
You’re goal should always be to nurture your successes and move from there. If you fail then so be it. Cut your losses and move on with your life.
Some women are simply not going to like you and this is a fact. I have seen women coldly shoot down a guy on an approach and literally under a minute later be laughing like a giggly schoolgirl after being approached by another man using a different style.
You are going to fall on your face and you are going to learn as you go whatever method you are using. Some require more work, failure and conscious effort while others are quicker but less guaranteed. Either way you can’t let your failures get to you because they’re going to cause a crucial blow that can leave after effects for years to come.
Let me give you an example of what I am talking about.
A lot of people feel like a person should go out and train to get used to rejection by going out and getting shot down hundreds of times?
Does this formula seem a little sketchy to you?
Rejection + Emotional Blow = Confidence
That’s because it is. Emotions that get reinforced do not magically turn in to other emotions. Our emotions simply build upon and reinforce the emotion we’re experiencing.
If you feel like a failure that’s not going to make you more confident, it’s just going to reinforce the feelings of failure.
Have you noticed that most guys who try to approach a hundred women end up tired, worn out or miserable instead of excited for the results they have gotten?
EMOTIONAL TRAUMA WILL NOT MAKE YOU CONFIDENT NOW OR EVER.
As a bonus, here is a video that explore the concept of alpha male in even more details.