Five Teen Girls Problems And How To Solve Them
Girls have many problems. Being a girl myself, i can understand it. Let’s address five common teen girls problems and how to solve them.
Why don’t my parents understand me? This is who I am!
I turned 14 last month and my best friend suggested giving me a makeover. So we arranged a sleepover during which she dyed my hair with a reddish tint and lent me some of her clothes and make up to finish off the look. Her mum is really supportive of her and will buy her any clothes she wants. She even buys her make up and hair dye. I thought my parents would be excited by my makeover but my dad just frowned and my mum told me off for not asking permission. It seems so unfair that they reacted in this way. Why can’t they be more like my friend’s mum and just be happy for me? They just don’t understand that I’m not trying to upset them – I’m just trying to express myself and be me!
– Chitra, 14
I sympathise with you on this as I felt the same at times, but it’s important to realise that not all families are the same. They all have different outlooks and rules and your friend’s mum’s relaxed attitude to her daughter’s appearance is personal to her and her family. Remember: it was only very recently that your parents saw you as their little girl. I know this makeover is your way of showing them that you are growing up, but it may take some time for them to adjust to the idea so be patient.
Just as some of the changes you are going through are confusing and scary for you, they can be the same for your parents. Eventually they will get used to the idea that you are growing up and making decisions without their input. However, if you want them to come round to your point of view, introduce change gradually rather than all at once – and talk it through first so it isn’t such a shock. Small changes here and there are a lot easier to get used to and will help your parents to see that you’ve put some thought into your actions…
2. Is there any way to get rid of spots once and for all?
Help! I’m always in the middle of a spot crisis. As soon as I get rid of one on my face, another appears to take its place. I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle with my skin. I never know if the spot cream I’m buying is actually helping or if I’m just throwing my money away. Is there a spot treatment on the market that actually works? If so, where can I get it?
During puberty all teenagers get spots thanks to the cocktail of hormones that are surging around their bodies. These hormones make the skin produce greater amounts of sebum, which is an oily substance that protects the skin from drying out. Hair follicles then become blocked by the sebum. At the same time, hormonal changes will alter the levels of acid in your skin, encouraging the growth of bacteria, and when this infects a blocked hair follicle, a spot (pustule) or acne (nodule) occurs. Keeping your skin clean is a fi rst step in combating spots but luckily there are a number of ‘over the counter’ spot treatments that can also help. Make sure you buy spot treatments containing either benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid. If you’ve tried these products for at least 6 weeks and your skin still hasn’t responded then see your GP, as there are a range of prescribed treatments that can help get rid of spots, including antibiotics.
3. Why am I the only one not to have started my period?
I’ve been having a really tough time at school lately. All the other girls in my class have already started their periods and aren’t shy about letting me know. It’s really horrible being the odd one out. Could there be something wrong with me? What’s the RIGHT age to get your period – and is there a way to speed it up?
Being the odd one out at school isn’t a pleasant experience, particularly when it’s your body that’s the issue. But I want to reassure you that it’s perfectly normal not to have started your periods by now. In fact, there is no ‘right’ age to start. Some girls start as young as 8 or 9, while others don’t start until they’re 16 or 17. The majority of girls find they begin between the ages of 11 and 14 so there’s no reason to suspect you’re a late bloomer. Unfortunately there’s no way to speed things up. I know it feels like you’re being singled out, but nature will take its course – so relax and rest assured that it will happen.
DO Relax – nature will take its course
Don’t – Compare yourself to other girls – our bodies are different
4. I’m not too young to dress up but mum says no!
I’m 15 years old and want to dress up when I go out, but my mum has definite ideas about how I should look. She hates me wearing heels and short skirts. As for make up, she would prefer it if I didn’t wear any at all! All my friends wear fashionable stuff but she says that dressing too old for my age will attract the ‘wrong attention’. Why can’t she understand that I’m not a child anymore?
– Olivia, 15
This is a tricky problem, but your mum’s attitude stems from her concern that if you ‘dress up’ then some boys may see you as sexually available. Some of her ideas may seem old-fashioned to you, but remember she was a teenager once and probably had the same arguments with her mother! Compromise might be the best solution here. Sit down and talk to your mum and try to work out some guidelines that will might work for both of you. Take skirt length – if she wants your skirt length to be below the knee and you want it above, why not agree to meet exactly in the middle? The great thing about negotiating is that you get something of what you want. Your mum will respect your level-headed approach to dealing with things and may even ease up on her rules a little. But don’t expect miracles overnight. You will need to be patient as these things can take time.
It happened to me
My mum was always really strict about make up. I wasn’t allowed to wear it out of the house, even though all my friends did. I felt as if she was treating me like a baby. I started to put on make up in secret at friends’ houses before we went out, but I couldn’t apply eyeliner very well and so my mum found out what I was doing. She got mad at me and said I looked a real mess! I got upset and tried to explain to her that I felt like the odd one out. Funnily enough, she actually stopped to listen to me and then said that if I wanted she would give me some tips on how to apply it so that I didn’t look as if I was wearing too much. We had a great couple of afternoons looking at make up tutorials together on YouTube and then trying them out. Thanks to the tutorials I know now how to apply make up and what suits me best. It feels like mum and I have bonded over this and our relationship has improved. In fact, we’re getting on really well at the moment, and in future, instead of banging heads I think we will communicate much better.
5. Will a nose piercing really ruin my life?
I want to get my nose pierced but my dad has given a definite no. He thinks having a nose piercing will ruin my life, but I think he’s being old-fashioned. Lots of girls have their noses pierced these days. They don’t mind me having my ears pierced so what’s the difference? How can I get them to see things from my point of view?
To you, an ear piercing and a nose piercing are similar but that’s not the problem here. It may seem old-fashioned but social attitudes to piercings differ. Schools and many employers tend not to have very liberal views on body piercings. Ears are usually fine; eyebrows, noses, tongues, lips and so on usually aren’t. It’s likely that your school will not tolerate a nose piercing and future employers may see it as ‘unprofessional’ and choose not to employ you. Piercings can be removed but remember that they leave holes or scars that can last forever. When you’re older it will be your decision, but by then it will also be clearer what’s at stake. Until that time, if you really can’t hang on I suggest buying clip-on jewellery that gives exactly the same effect as a piercing.
Here are some more teen age girl issues and their solutions.