How To Get Into The Mindset To Go Out And Meet Women
In this post some of the best will be teaching you how to get into the mindset to go out, have fun and meet women.
Well, you can’t just tell a person, “Have fun. You know, do your thing.” I used to hate clubs. I still actually do hate clubs. The fact that I can meet women easily in a club doesn’t change my opinion about clubs. They are a waste of time. I don’t dance and I don’t drink that often. You have to learn to meet women in situations that you’re already comfortable with first.
So for me, a lot of what I do involves helping guys become successful in whatever situation they’re already in because no matter who you are, even if you don’t go out at night, you’re still going to see women during the day who you want to approach. Maybe you see women on the subway, so I’m going to teach you how to start pulling women from the subway. It’s actually one of the easiest places to meet women.
I just go out with a mentality of having fun with my friends. I don’t even think about if I’m going to approach girls that night, or if I’m going to be meeting women or anything like that. What that does is it actually takes the pressure off and then you’ll be amazed at how much more fun you’ll have and how many more women you meet when you don’t make meeting women your goal.
Now, if you’re in this stage where you’re going out “surging” a lot, there are many tricks you can do; simple things like listening to music on the way to the venue. It’s crazy but there are scientific studies that show listening to 30 minutes of classical music is equivalent to taking a dose of Valium. Now, I’m not saying you have to listen to classical music and listen to stuff because you’re pumped up, but I’m just demonstrating the power of music. Now, I’m probably not the best person to answer this question because I never really go out anymore with the intention of trying to meet girls because I already have enough women I meet on Facebook or run into at the grocery store or coffee shop or whatever.
I have done this long enough where I can flip the switch inside myself to instantly get into a fun state. But initially there were quite a few things I did. I lived in a really small apartment in the East Village in New York. My roommate and I would have a few drinks, not enough to get drunk, but enough to bring our apprehension down and allow us to be more open.
We would do silly things such as pushups, chest bumps – we just acted like knuckle heads for a little while beforehand just to show ourselves that it’s OK to go out and have fun and not be too self aware or worried about what other people think about you. So, we would kind of act silly, and that allowed us to think that we didn’t care what people thought about us and we were going to go out and tear it up.
Doing groovy things, fun things, whatever lights you up and whatever you really enjoy is the key. The most important thing is whatever ritual you pick make sure when you leave the house to go meet women that your face is lit up. You’ve got a bright smile; you’re excited. It might be a mischievous smile. It might be a very sexy smile. It might just be kind of a goofy-looking smile, but you got to have a lot of emotion going on in your face because women are attracted to men who have a lot of emotion, have a lot of confidence, and have a lot of that energy.
So one thing I used to do is hang out in front of the mirror and do my Joey impersonation: “Hey, how are you doing?” I like to practice that smirk on my face.
I love watching rap videos because those guys are always confident. They’re super aggress, so I just listen to rap and move around or stay in front of the mirror and work on my expressions and get psyched up, but you have to make it fun. And the thing is you have to make it something where the fun actually continues all through the night.
So for example, when I started going out meeting women, I had a ton of approach anxiety and I noticed the first part of the night I was in a good mood and the second part I would have a tough time keeping that positive energy going. What I learned is that I enjoyed dancing. It was something that I had fun doing and so I started going out and doing things that I thought were fun. Even though it’s not the most efficient way to meet women, I know that I’m going to stay in a good mood the whole night. So find something you enjoy doing. It’s what’s going to keep you in that positive mood.
I like to set some type of goal. I know that sounds kind of nerdy or whatever, but it’s really important to have a game plan if you’re going out to get a certain type of result. Most guys will go out to try and meet girls and their goal is, “I’m going to get laid.” And that’s not a bad goal necessarily, but you have to realize that for a lot of guys who maybe aren’t good looking or don’t have a lot of confidence or aren’t very funny or interesting or whatever the case may be, that can be an unrealistic goal. And most girls don’t sleep with guys that they just meet unless they’re super-drunk or otherwise their judgment is impaired in some way. Now, we’ve all been in situations where if you want to get a one-night stand, the easiest way to do it is just wait until the bar is getting ready to close, find the drunkest girl you can, take her home and bang her. That’s pretty much the easiest way there is to get a one-night stand.
But most girls are going to be there with their friends, and they might not be super-drunk so you have to set a goal. I set goals: “If I can meet one really interesting girl and get her phone number, then that would be good enough for me.” Because what’s going to happen is if a guy goes out and says “Oh, I need to get laid tonight” and he doesn’t find a girl who wants to have sex with him, he starts beating himself up. He thinks he’s a failure. But if you get that number and you realize that attraction is like a marathon instead of a sprint, you become a lot more satisfied. I have a really hard time doing one-night stands because most of the girls who are drunk, when the bars are closing, are not the type of girls I want to have sex with. I have standards. I’m not one of those guys who can stick it in anything.
So the girls that I tend to meet and really like are the type of girls who require a little bit of time in order to get them interested in you. What I think is if you can get them interested enough to give you their phone number in one night that shows that something is there. There’s something down the road that could happen between the two of us and now it’s up to me to make that happen over the phone, getting her to meet me for a date and maybe get her back into my apartment or whatever the case may be. So I like to set some type of goal.
Another thing you can do if you’re going out with friends is make it some type of game. One of the fun things to do is to challenge your buddies to perform certain tasks. So you could say, “OK, you have to talk to three redheads tonight. We have to go out and find three redheads. If you don’t do it, you owe me $20 or you’re paying for dinner.” One night we said: “We have to find a girl with blue hair. We’ve got to try and pickup a girl with blue hair.” And as you can imagine it was very hard to find girls who have blue hair so we were running all over the place trying to do that.
So you set these little goals whether it would be just for you or for you and your friends and it becomes something that’s fun and interesting and it becomes stories you can tell other people as part of your attraction routine.