How To Hook A Girl After The Opener
What does it mean to “hook” her into the interaction? When you have created enough interest in yourself causing her to want you to stay and continue the conversation rather than leave, she is “hooked”. I am sure you have been in conversations where you really wanted to leave, and in others where you were interested enough to stay. I help guys put themselves in position to realize the second scenario, and eliminate the first one!
There are two things to keep in mind after you engage her in conversation. Number one is never come across as “needy” or “desperate”. What are some common ways that guys do this? They:
• Ask a lot of questions just to keep the conversation going
• Fidget when they talk
• Don’t look the woman in the eye when speaking
• Fumble & twist their speech
• Use a soft & timid vocal tone
• Lean-in with their body language
If you do any of these things when talking with women, stop. Each communicates insecurity and nervousness, which naturally causes them to feel the same way. These annoying habits signal to her that “something is up”. Women are very sensitive socially, and if you display insecurity, she will intuitively lose trust for you. She will realize that your intentions and your words don’t match up.
It is unreasonable to expect yourself to be free of nerves when talking with women. It is reasonable to expect you to eliminate nervous behavior from your interactions. Understood?
Another way that guys come across as “needy” is that they do not understand how to present themselves in a powerful, elegant, masculine way, causing her to want to know more about you. You will know you are getting there when she starts to asking questions, wanting to know more about you. You can “hook” her by using a variety of social skills. Demonstrating a great sense of humor is one way, or that you have had interesting experiences. Also, revealing that you are a person she can learn from is very powerful. Let’s just continue my conversation from earlier in the chapter, so that I can demonstrate:
ME: “A number of years ago, I was traveling in France, and I met this Polish girl, who was also a poet. We had a lot of pretentious conversations about poetry, but along the way, she took me to a tiny cemetery, which was solely reserved for poets. Interesting eh?”
HER: “Yeah, I guess, if you like cemeteries”
ME: “Well, she was cute, and I was young, so, she could have taken me to prison and I would have gone”
HER: “Are you old now or something?” (said flirtatiously)
ME: “Haha, no, just less swept away by cute little girls…they tend to be boring, though fun… that’s very ordinary though, particularly in the States…but, I digress. (The above is simply classic flirting and challenging. Now, here is where I hook her)
ME: “Anyway, so we walk thru the cemetery, and then go outside of the gates to eat our lunch on a bench by the street…is this boring you by the way?”
HER: “No no – you are entertaining me – I like to be entertained” (as you can see, she had a great sense of humor)
ME: “All those years of training…finally paying off…mom would be so proud! Well, we sit down and play this amazing game as we eat the best Foie Gras in the world”
HER: “And, what was this game?”
ME: “We made a poem together…here, since you are into poetry, let’s make a haiku together but you have to think quickly on your feet. Oh, and she was very good, so the standard has been set very high…I have faith that you are up to the challenge. I will start…”
Can you believe it? We were creating a poem together in under 5 minutes. The great thing is you need to have no idea about how to really make a haiku for this to work. Being bad at it is just as good as being good at it. If this doesn’t seem to be your speed there are a million other things to do, just use your imagination (another attractive quality, by the way). The point is, I created something out of nothing, and involved her in a challenging and fun interaction. This hooked her into our conversation, and she wanted to know a lot more about me. We eventually went to some vacant seats, and continued our conversation.
Hooking is easily the most challenging part of meeting new women. When I take guys out socially and demonstrate this part of our three-step process, they always get hungup on how to hook her into conversation. Let’s go into some detail now about the social skills needed within the “hook” phase. You will have to be present to the interaction, listen, and rely upon your instincts to know which skill to use, and when. Along with “baiting”, there are two other essential ones:
These three skills are great at building intrigue and interest. They convey a high degree of social intelligence, and require confidence to effectively use. One of the best ways to develop confidence is to PRACTICE. In other words, even if you aren’t so confident with these skills, you still need to practice in public in order to improve. The willingness to practice is the element which separates the boys from the men which are you.