How To Overcome Fear Of Rejection? Top PUA Advice
In this article we will be reading what some of the top pickup artists have to say about overcoming the fear of rejection.
Joseph Matthews On How To Overcome Fear Of Rejection
I‟ve never really had much of a problem with rejection. The only time rejection really becomes an issue is when someone is attached to an outcome.
If there‟s a girl who you like and you‟re trying to get with her and she rejects you, it hurts. But why does it hurt? It‟s because you have so much attachment to the outcome of her choosing – whether or not she likes you. We‟ve all seen a girl we find attractive and we run different scenarios through our mind: how it would be to date her, to have sex with her, to get married and so on. We can go through an entire lifetime in our imaginations before we even talk to that girl. We are setting unrealistic expectations before we even do the initial approach.
The guys who have absolutely no problem with rejection whatsoever are the guys who really don‟t care. They‟re not attached to any type of outcome. They‟re going to go up to the girl and see if she likes him and if she does, they‟re going to pursue it. And if not, it‟s no big deal. They will move on to the next one. When it comes to overcoming a fear of rejection, you really have to overcome any attachment to the outcome. You also have to realize if a girl is not interested in you right up front, that just means you haven‟t figured out what she‟s attracted to yet. You really have to look at it like you‟re not getting rejected, you‟re just finding out what doesn‟t work.
So part of overcoming a fear of rejection is managing your expectations. When I started changing my expectations to “OK, I‟m going to talk to 12 girls tonight” then I would come home and think “Wow! I talked to 15. I did really well.” A lot of guys try and go for too much and they get attached to a certain outcome, and it‟s only when that girl doesn‟t agree with that outcome that you get that sting of rejection, so it‟s just about managing your expectations.
Drew Canole On How To Overcome The Fear Of Rejection
The fear of rejection is 100% completely normal. In my life, I beat rejection down to the ground over and over and over again. I think the biggest way I did this was to force myself to get out of the box, to do things that I was fearful of. And, regarding women, approach anxiety was huge. I became a public speaker at very young age. I ran an entertainment company and was up in front of a hundred thousand people. In order to deal with that rejection, it‟s all about the pre-game; it‟s all a mental game. It‟s all in your mind, my friend. You have to prepare yourself.
This is your new mantra; write it down: Every woman wants you. Women flow over you like a tidal wave. They want to be a part of your life. You are creating something magical and it‟s their opportunity to be a part of it. If you tell yourself that enough, you start to believe it. And women will feel that. So, if you can program yourself that every woman wants you; you are the king of the crowd, king of the castle, then they will truly start to believe that and you will see it in your own experiences. And you can virtually have any woman you want.
Jordan Harbinger On How To Overcome The Fear Of Rejection
When I first started out the fear of rejection was horrible. I started learning a bunch of sales-type things recently to take my business to the next level and it turns out that entrepreneurs – even those guys who make tens of million dollars a year – have this fear of rejection. It really does hold us all back.
What I found through practice and through speaking with guys who really have a tremendous business and entrepreneurial outlook is that you never really overcome the fear of rejection until you just start getting rejected so much that it no longer matters because the outcome is no longer crucial. And I think that‟s important in business and in approaching women.
Approach enough women to the point where it doesn‟t matter whether you get rejected because you know that it‟s not you they‟re rejecting, but really the approach. And the rejection could be for a myriad of reasons. You don‟t take it personally and the fear of rejection goes away when the sting actually goes away.
Julian Foxx On Overcoming The Fear Of Rejection
We teach an exercise that we call rejection reinterpretation. You can really only interpret rejection in three ways.
That‟s the only way you can interpret anything. So we practice interpreting rejection. We actually role play these situations with women out in field. We want to interpret rejection in a neutral or in a positive way, because it‟s very easy and becomes habitual for a lot of guys to interpret things in a negative way. So, if she says “No, I am not going to give you my phone number,” the guy thinks “Oh God, it‟s because I am ugly.”
That‟s a habitual pattern where they are interpreting things negatively, but if we can train ourselves to think “She has got a boyfriend,” that could be a neutral interpretation. Or, a positive interpretation will be “She‟s just playing hard to get.” That‟s a skill we can develop in terms of how we are interpreting information from women. It‟s very popular and has made huge, tremendous differences in my own pussy-getting abilities.
Stephen Nash On How To Beat Fear Of Rejection
Well, there are a few answers. I guess the one answer is – this is a little harsh – get used to it. Not because it should be your goal, but just because, unless you are at least OK with it you won‟t ever approach or get involved or engage women in a conversation.
The other thing is that when you are rejected within the first few minutes, it is actually not you that‟s being rejected. The woman can‟t know you in three minutes. It‟s impossible. So the way to look at it is instead of it being a personal insult to you, it‟s rather just a lack of skill. What I do is offer ways you can learn skills and that‟s easily done.
Yad On Fear Of Rejection
It was a long process. I‟m not going to lie and I‟m not going to sugar coat this answer, but it‟s something I believe anyone can achieve no matter your level of shyness. It‟s about at the end of the day being comfortable with yourself and not taking yourself too seriously. It‟s about putting your ego aside and not having your inner happiness and how you feel about yourself be decided by a girl who only sees you for a few seconds.
The first minutes of day game, I don‟t even take their reactions seriously. They could give me the best reaction in the world. She could literally fall in love with me. I wouldn‟t take it seriously, because she doesn‟t know me. Or she could give me the worst reaction in the world and walk past me. I don‟t take it seriously because she doesn‟t know me. And that‟s my mentality really. I‟ve come to really appreciate myself from another place rather than base it on what a girl might think of me in the first few seconds of meeting her.
Adam Lyons On Beating The Fear Of Rejection
The way that I overcame the fear of rejection was actually during the very first boot camp I ever did. There‟s nothing better than actually going out in the field and actually testing it. Although my very first boot camp was back in the day, and things have really improved since then, one thing that really did help me was to say to girls: “Hey, I’m the kissing bandit and you can’t get past unless you give me a kiss,” or “Is there a fire in here? Did someone call a fireman?”
Some of the worst possible lines that you can ever imagine, and it just kept getting me rejected over and over again. And eventually, I just got completely numb to it so it just really didn’t matter what I said. I just didn’t really care because I was so used to getting rejected. And that was how I first got over the fear of rejection. Nowadays, I tell students one of the easiest ways to get over rejection is to actually go up and just be really normal (the reverse of what I did).
If you just go up to somebody and say, “Hey, you guys look really friendly. I just thought I’d come over and say hi.” If you do that ten times in a row, you‟re actually going to find you rarely do get rejected. And if you speak to ten girls and eight of them don’t reject you, it starts to make you realize that more often than not, people are going to be more than happy talking to you and that’s going to encourage you to want to go and talk to more people.