How To Re-Enter the Dating Arena After A Breakup
Before you step back into the dating scene, let’s see how well you have learned your lessons and how well prepared you are to avoid the same mistakes. To get the most benefit out of this article, do not rush through the following examinations. If you score poorly on a set of questions, go back and spend time on the issues under analysis.
We are talking about the future success of your love life here, the potential to meet those inevitable breakups head on, and the ability to land on your feet.
Your Dating IQ
What does intelligence have to do with the cycle of attraction, love, and breaking up? Plenty!
Your intelligence is a mark of your ability to understand events, learn from experiences, respond quickly, successfully meet the challenge of new situations, reason, and solve problems.
Interpret this in lover’s terms. Your romantic intelligence is a mark of your ability to understand a love interest’s intentions, learn from previous romantic attachments, size up a potential new relationship quickly, know whether or not this is a good relationship for you, make yourself move on if necessary, and make any adjustments that will enhance your prospects for lasting love.
An IQ test measures that degree of intelligence. A romantic IQ test has been devised to indicate your level of intelligence when it comes to matters of breaking up.
A Romantic Breaking Up IQ Test
Get ready to test your intelligence quotient when it comes to romantic breakups. This information isn’t innate. If you get stumped, you could go back and look up the answer. Proceed by responding true or false.
1. Men and women think differently.
2. It is not always easy to determine exactly what the opposite sex is saying.
3. Sex is one of the basic human motivators. Logical thinking is not.
4. Sex is a complicating factor in early love relationships.
5. Love always lasts a long time.
6. Lust can be stronger than love.
7. Sex is in the minds of men at least three times a day.
8. As soon as you feel dissatisfied with a relationship, you should break up immediately.
9. One person is always at fault when a relationship breaks up.
10. Physical attraction is what gets the ball rolling first.
11. Revealing too much or asking too many questions when you first meet can be a turn off.
12. Eighty percent of infatuations turn into love.
13. Some experts think love could be 90 percent sex.
14. Monogamy is a fact of nature.
15. Most animals mate for life.
16. Mature love is based on companionship and intimacy.
17. Lasting love formulates quickly.
18. Playful frolicking is not necessary to ensure the duration of love.
19. There is no difference between love and infatuation.
20. Purely romantic relationships run their course in 18 months to three years.
21. Humans are romantically influenced by their biological makeup.
22. Boredom is the number one reason couples break up.
23. Love addiction is a fallacy.
24. Love alone is enough to formulate a sound foundation for a lasting relationship.
25. Men stonewall making a commitment more often than women.
26. Men prize their freedom more than women do.
27. Absence always makes the heart grow fonder.
28. Premarital counseling decreases the chance of divorce.
29. There is no risk in occasionally having sex with a prior love interest.
30. Breaking up is done in stages. The first stage is a loss of infatuation.
31. Men are less likely to use lies to break up than women.
32. Men tell women exactly what they want to hear.
33. Men find it easy to confront a woman honestly.
34. Women are more adept verbally than men.
35. The set up is a deliberate exit plan used primarily by men.
36. Men prefer that a woman do the dumping.
37. Breaking up is never empowering.
38. There is nearly always some small shred of evidence that a breakup is in the air.
39. If a love mate rushes out after sex with a quick good-night, that could be a signal of distress in the relationship.
40. Diminished sexual appetite can be caused by something other than waning attraction.
41. Male hunters frequently change typecasts and become marriage seekers.
42. A woman is never a seductress.
43. Lying is part of our everyday lives.
44. Men never lie solely for the purpose of having sex with a woman.
45. Women plot their lies more carefully than men.
46. It is better to tell a lie than hurt someone’s feelings when breaking up.
47. If you think a love interest will dump you, the probability is he or she will.
48. Self-fulfilling prophecies do not relate to matters of the heart.
49. Intimacy is the core of a love relationship.
50. You should explicitly reveal the details of your sexual history to a
new love interest.
1. True 21. True 41. False
2. True 22. True 42. False
3. True 23. False 43. True
4. True 24. False 44. False
5. False 25. True 45. True
6. True 26. True 46. False
7. True 27. False 47. True
8. False 28. True 48. False
9. False 29. False 49. True
10. True 30. True 50. False
Master the Art of Flirtation
A good flirt is like a fly fisherman. He takes his time to gracefully toss out the lure, put it in the water without a big splash, and land it close to the fish he wishes to catch.
Instructions for Flirting
Flirting is carried out by using verbal and physical signals.
A well-practiced flirt uses body language and conversation. Physical signals a smile, a little eye contact, an innocent touch of the body gets the juices flowing.
Making conversation that is easy to participate in shows interest in the other person and can jump-start an attraction.
The eyes send the strongest message. From the moment you begin talking to that other person, he or she must win the total focus of your attention.
Artful flirts never let the person they are flirting with think they are being toyed with.
When Not to Flirt
There are inappropriate times to flirt. Cross that line, and your flirting could backfire. Before you start trying to attract a new love interest, know when to and not to turn on the charm.
Ladies, don’t flirt when a guy is participating in an athletic event. Men take them too seriously. Wait until he wins and then make a big fuss. Don’t be the cause of his defeat.
Guys and gals, don’t flirt during important business meetings. It makes you both look bad. If you get him or her off track, it could be held against you forever.
No one should flirt at a solemn occasion. It will be perceived as a sign of disrespect.
Guys, don’t flirt with your ex-lover when your new love is present. She will think you are a jerk.
Attention all would-be flirts: Don’t innocently flirt with married persons in a public setting. You don’t know who could be watching or which single man or woman you might turn off.
Deceptive Dating Practices
Here’s what a vast amount of research tells you about what you might hear when you re-enter the dating arena. There is a consensus of opinion that most of what comes out of a prospective date’s mouth is true and by most standards accurate.
Nonetheless, a 1991 study charted the deceptions men and women most readily used to buoy their identity in a dating situation. They devised their deceptions according to what the opposite sex found most appealing. Of the 112 participants in a 1996 study, 90 percent admitted they told one or more lies to perspective dates. But keep in mind that this same body of research shows that men and women with a higher level of integrity are less likely to be deceptive about themselves.
Here’s what to be on the lookout for: Men are more willing to tell a lie to a prospective date than women are. Primarily, men lie in a way that will make them appear more sincere, humble, resourceful, and trusting than in truth they are. Women’s deceptions generally have to do with their body and or love attitudes. Forty-seven percent of men and 45 percent of women were found to lie and underestimate the number of their previous sex partners. Lying in this particular instance about one’s past sex life could be dangerous and should not be tolerated.
Generally, however, as already mentioned, the lies you might encounter when you first meet someone will be of a less serious nature. If the individual doesn’t exhibit an overall pattern of lying, their small untruths are probably forgivable. It’s the guys and gals that make a habit of lying, have something to hide, or are insecure about their real identity that you have to watch out for.