How To Replace Your Negative Attitude With Positivity
When we moved into our home 20 years ago, I had a negative attitude about cutting the grass. When Diane showed me the home, all I could see were the three acres of grass around it, and so I said, “We can’t get this house.”
“Why?” she asked. “Is it because you don’t think we can afford it? Is it because you don’t like the looks of it?”
“No, it’s because of the grass. Three acres of grass. I hate cutting the grass.” That was my attitude.
She then said, “Well, if we buy it, you wouldn’t need to cut it. You could get a gardener.”
“Good grief, can you imagine what my coaching friends would think of me with a gardener? I wouldn’t have a friend left.” See, I also had an attitude about gardeners. My solution was to give up on the goal. We couldn’t have the house because of an attitude about cutting the grass or having a gardener.
But Diane said, “Well, why don’t you change your attitude?” Which one do you think I changed? Yeah, I got the house, with the grass and the gardener.
See how you must change an attitude to release yourself, to allow yourself to do something or to have something. Not wanting to cut the grass almost kept us out of that house. I keep that picture in my mind when I set goals. You need a picture for reference. “Here’s another grass-cutting deal,” I say to myself. “So I better change my attitude, or give up on the goal.”
How To Deal With Drunk Drivers
Maybe you’ve been stuck with monumental personal and corporate problems for a long time, and the negative attitude you have stimulates punitive, negative creativity.
Jeff Jared, a good friend of ours, once visited us at the ranch. He’s from New South Wales, where he’s Commissioner of Police and Public Safety. We were talking about the attitudes of law enforcement that need to change. For example, one problem in Sydney, New South Wales (population of five million people) is the deaths on the highway from drunk drivers.
Now what is your attitude about drunk drivers? You want to lock them up, catch them, punish them, put them in jail. If nothing else, give them a ride home. That’s the way they were trying to solve the problem. They had over 1,500 drunk drivers a year who were killed on the highways.
Nothing was working. So the people who were faced with that problem needed to change their attitude. The attitude became “How do we get the drunks home safely, without hurting themselves or hurting anybody else?” It was as simple as that.
When they changed their attitude toward the problem and toward the drunk driver, they came up with the idea that they would build highways for drunks. The goal was to get them home safely. So they asked themselves, “How do we build highways for drunks? What does a highway for drunks look like? How do you get them on it when they are drunk?”
They decided to modify existing highways by taking out the dangerous turns, putting up larger dividers, adding bumps along the sides to jar drivers when they hit them, and making all the light poles and signposts out of collapsible metal that would fold when hit. They got very creative with “How do we get them home safely?” And they reduced deaths from 1,500 to 650 in one year.
As you change your attitude, you stimulate creativity in a constructive way. An attitude shift will stimulate creativity. So now when you’re stuck with problems about inner city, about peace, about corrections, about whatever, ask yourself, “How do I build a highway for drunks?” Once you understand the story, you will shift your attitude. Shift your attitude, and watch how your creativity changes. Shift your attitude, and you will find solutions.
How To Dealing With People Who Have a bad Attitude
The way another person behaves toward you should not affect how you feel. You have the control over how you feel. You don’t let other people determine how you feel today, how you’re going to act, how you’re going to behave. You don’t allow them to alter your internal idea of how you are, who you are, and how you act.
Now, if they have power to make policy or rules or law, then you may need to leave the environment. You can’t be entrapped by it. In some situations, avoidance may be necessary for survival. Avoid the activity where it’s negative. Just make sure that you’re not capitulating, that you’re not giving up on the problem. Our self esteem is nothing but the favorable and unfavorable attitudes we develop about ourselves. Your attitude toward yourself affects your selfesteem. When you have a very positive attitude about yourself, it elevates your self-esteem. You project your attitude about yourself to the people around you through body language, behavior, and verbal communication. And they treat you according to your own attitude about yourself.