You might notice in the social outline above I mention “take the lead”. If you really want to expand your social circle, you will have to take the lead and make it happen. Your friends may or may not be interested in meeting new people. Your friends may or may not be interested on growing out of their comfort zone. That is why it is so important for you to be willing to go out alone – particularly if it is something you really want to see, or experience.

One way to lead is to organize events and activities. I used to have a loft in Brooklyn,and would throw monthly parties as a way to expand my social circle. After every party, I would have new numbers of women that I eventually dated or invited to the next party. Had I not taken the lead, and gone through the effort of making the event happen, I would never have met these women. Also, I made countless new friends in the process. Another fringe benefit to throwing parties is that when you are out meeting new people in other environments, you have an automatic way of keeping in touch with them – “Hey, I am throwing a party next month, give me your email address and I will send you an invite”. All of these new people show up to your party, and now you are on your home turf, meeting new people. Everyone wants to meet you because it is your party!

I understand that you may not have the space to throw a party, but most people are able to throw dinner parties, right? Here is an idea – throw a dinner party, and ask each friend to bring someone completely new who will not know the other people there. I used to do this a lot, and it always makes for an exciting evening. Also, develop a theme around the dinner. I remember one dinner party I threw was based on a Mediterranean theme, and another was an evening with different “stews” from around the world. Use your imagination and have fun with it. Again, this is a great way to meet new people. Feel free to confide in your female friends that they are more than welcome to bring their single friends along.

how to become a leader

If you are totally out of ideas, throw a party in another person’s space. Ask your friends, who happen to have the killer house in the center of town, if they would mind if you threw a dinner party at their house. You will manage the invites, the décor, and the clean up, while everyone invited will bring a dish to the night. All they have to do is get dressed and have a good time. If the party is going to be big, get some friends to help you out. The basic rule of thumb is to have one person helping you for every ten guests. So, if you can only find three other friends to help you with the party, be sure to have no more than thirty people attend this is supposed to be fun, right?

Lastly, if there is an interesting core of people at your place of employment, yet no one has yet taken the lead to organizing an after work drink/meal/outing etc, become that person. Work is a great place to start meeting new people, as you are forced to be around each other, and almost certainly know people with which to socialize. Countless groups go out for drinks after work, to try out a new bar or lounge, or a new restaurant. This is a very solid way to start leading and expanding your social circle.

leadership photo

If you use your imagination, and take the lead, there is no way you can be stopped from expanding your social circle. In fact, one of the nice fringe benefits to leading your social life, is that other people will naturally call you with invitations to their cool events. Most people are interested in expanding and enhancing their own social circle. If you help them in doing that by inviting them to your outings, they will often reciprocate the invitation. Taking the lead and getting active is a no-lose situation!