How Your Style Can Help You Seduce More Women
In this articles I want to go beyond the basics, and introduce you to the concept of Style Attraction Switches (SAS).
The basic premise behind SAS is that style can actually be used to trigger sexual attraction in the opposite sex. We learned earlier that style is communication, and you can use it to convey to women that you are a sexually desirable and attractive guy.
Before I go into SAS in depth, you must understand that style isn’t just used for sexual attraction. It is also used as a social symbol or a sub-communication of a certain message stream. For example, the FBI officer’s uniform is for physical protection, a display of power, and a secretive identify. While its secondary purpose may create sexual attraction, the primary purpose is to display power and protection. Think of the president or CEO and you will see that their style’s primary purpose is that of power and charisma.
For our purposes, we will only deal with switches that specifically hit the attraction and sexual stereotype triggers in women. The Style Attraction Switches (SAS) are:
You know that feeling you get when you see a 9 or 10? That girl who possesses the rare top 5% beauty of the population? It feels like something just hit you emotionally in the gut. Every straight guy feels this.
This is because we are programmed to respond to physical attractiveness. We are programmed this way based on hundreds of thousands of years of sexual selection, and visually it is still the best cue for obtaining the best genes from a woman. Artists and players have learned to consciously disengage from the needy behavior that most guys succumb to. Most men start eyeing the girl and moving closer to her, trying to win her affection and attention.
Similarly, a woman feels this impact when a guy of high social value enters a room. Hugh Hefner, Jeremy Piven, Brad Pitt, and other celebrities have this effect. This is why women start kissing each other and dancing next to the velvet ropes at high-end clubs where male celebrities hangout. “Good looking” is more than just physical genetics. It’s also a man’s style and conveyance of social status.
Being dominant is essential to occupying positions of status and power. This, in turn, is related to the idea of social and resource access. Dominance in style can be portrayed by first simply having style. Due to men in general not focusing as much on this, a guy who is stylish will stand out. Per standing out, he will have more eyes and social pressure on him, and his ability to deal with the increased level of social pressure and attention will increase women’s attraction for him.
Style tactics for dominance include a flashy hairstyle, a power suit, a wrist band, tattoos, piercings, ties, and even some scars. Well-fitting attire shows off the man’s body. Most guys have it right by going to the gym, but they think it is because they will look better. Half true, because well built muscular guys show higher dominance.
Understand that dominance is not about being territorial or being “alpha” in a cold-hearted way. Guys who need to stamp on other people without cause are, at the core, insecure in some way. Think of being dominant as a “warm alpha” vibe. He is dominant because, at his core, he is a leader, and he is living up to his potential. He still treats everyone with respect. However, he is not a pushover and is not afraid to step up if someone disrespects him. As such, he does not feel the need to steal girls from other guys or make fun of other guys to make himself look better. He simply is that way congruently, both inside and out.
On rare occasions with guys who look too “rough,” the dominance switch can backfire. If the man looks too dominant, he can look dangerous. This can be turnoff for a woman, and she can rationalize that the man has a “creepy vibe” that violates her safety. High dominance is usually associated with a personality to back it up. Some guys only have the look, but not the congruence.
As Nancy Etcoff noted, “However, dominant looking men who did not have high achievement at the [military] academy ended up faring worst of all. They suffered penalties for being sheep in wolf’s clothing when they failed to show the leadership their faces advertised, they were punished, just as if they had lied about their abilities or potential or submitted a false resume.”
Dominance is also related to sexual dominance in bed. In every step of seduction, a man’s ability to lead and exert that feeling of raw controlling energy turns women on. At the core, dominance reflects a man’s acceptance with his core masculine nature and the sexual force it embodies.
The second key Style Attraction Switch is eliteness or high social status. Social status is one of the most attractive qualities to a woman, so, if you can communicate that you belong to an elite social group or that you are high status, it can instantly increase your attractiveness to women.
Communication that a guy is elite in some way increases attraction because of the selectivity criteria. The woman thinks that the man has passed some form of qualification to become a part of the
elite group. A tattoo, a tie or shirt with a frat symbol on it, and other displays communicate that you are in the “in” crowd. The subtext is: “I understand what’s going on behind the scenes (And you will too if you follow me).
Being elite means different things for different social groups. The punk rocker and his band mates are the most elite sexual stereotype in an emo girl’s world. The alpha nerd, who is often the “coolest” and best looking nerd of the group, may be the elite amongst a group of nerds at an Ivy League school. The CEO is part of the senior management elite group of the business setting. And on it goes. With the elite comes the gift of status and dominance, as well as access to resources that others will not have within their particular market.
Take that same CEO, however, and put him in a bar, and he may lose his local eliteness. Take a hot bartender and put him in a boardroom, and he suddenly loses his edge. Surface level eliteness can be lost simply by switching locations. Therefore, this switch needs to be developed in congruence with one’s lifestyle and personal identity.
Short term eliteness can be emulated and faked through style, and often just involves a fast adaptation to the type of club and the crowd. This SAS takes time to develop and is very sensitive to local and cultural circumstances. Once mastered and understood, it is simply a statement that subcommunicates, “I see beneath the surface in this social setting.”
3. Access to resources
Men compete for access to money, land, social ties, and other resources because these things attract women. Today, most women have successful careers and some even make more than their male counterparts. However due to the speed of evolution, the triggers are still there for a man who has abundant resources.
Clothing and high end items can signify access to money. While it is important to dress nicely, one who understands style can budget effectively within his means and still meet his style goals. Access to resources doesn’t mean much if those resources cannot be efficiently used.
This SAS is conveyed through picking the right fit for clothes and matching the overall balance of an outfit. It also shows the artist’s social intelligence and intuition in colors, layers, and coordination among his pieces to tell a high value story.
4. Clean cut
Being well groomed makes a huge difference to a man’s physical attractiveness. It shows he is responsible, intelligent, and has good health. Imagine a dirty beard with filth, or long unwashed hair. A groomed man is well shaven, has a sleek hairstyle he maintains, trims his body and pubic hair, and takes care of his body and skin. This is an area that not only reduces any bonus points to zero, but can also carry penalty points towards attraction if not mastered. “Clean cut” applies to regular hair, ear hair, nose hair, eyelashes, armpit hair, body hair, back hair, pubic hair, and leg hair.
Being clean-cut also means having good hygiene, maintaining a clean room, and having good breath, among many other things unrelated to women. It simply reflects a way of life that removes clutter and mess, while enhancing simplicity. Such is the thought of a clean-cut man and the physical manifestation of his thoughts.
No woman is attracted to a guy who is fake. No matter how attractive your outward appearance is, it’s not going to help if the guy wearing it doesn’t live up to the image he’s portraying.
When the way a guy looks is significantly different from the way he actually behaves, it is perceived as being incongruent. This makes a guy look “try-hard” at best and dishonest at worst. Style is about expressing your most attractive self, not about creating a fake persona in order to try to impress people. You have to create a look that is true to who you really are, or true to who you want to become.
For example, when you first realize that women want and have sex just as often as men, it can feel incongruent. When I first learned about the secret society, I had trouble incorporating this belief into my awareness. Accept this as a challenge on your rite of passage to master style.
I’ve felt incongruent at times myself. When I got my first leather jacket from Zara, I felt like it was too rough or “hard core” for me. Then I tried it for a week and started getting compliments from girls and guys. However it was still very uncomfortable for me at the time. My first pair of leather shoes also felt weird, despite that they were comfortable and had a nice, dominant click when I walked. At the time, it was all so foreign to me.
Your identity needs some time to grow into your new look. Give your new look a chance before you scrap it. This is a scientific process. However, don’t always listen to those closest to you. Your parents, your friends, your social circle, your co-workers, and even your girlfriend may not feel comfortable with your new look. Even if their intentions are good, they may not know the true effects of what you are going for. Therefore you need help from someone who has already been there.
Since I’m not there with you in person, your measurement for success should be one thing only: the positive results you get with women. Are your interactions going smoother and getting you more dates? Are you getting complimented on your clothing?
Or, are woman getting turned off with a certain look, assuming that your game was similar in every other way? If so, discard one piece of the variable and test it again. Think of mistakes as an opportunity to map out reference points on a graph of what not to do.
Over time, you will develop a strong sense of what looks good. A strong congruence shows your strength and character, social intelligence, and the fact that you are used to being a man with social status. This is extremely attractive to women.
I still occasionally try out new clothing and feel a little uncomfortable while wearing something drastically different. However, I can tell right away if it looks good on me. This style intuition is permanent and will assist you for the rest of your life.
The ability to evolve and adapt to a new environment is the key to survival and success in many areas of life. I will discuss three types of style adaptability and why these are attractive:
a) Geographic adaptability
Local differences can affect game to a great degree. For example, when out in Boston an artist will notice the large percentage of students in the city and the use of the MBTA (nicknamed the “T” by locals). The cold weather changes the style to heavier winter coats and the use of scarves and layering for fashion.
A stylish man from LA may need to adapt to new changes in his wardrobe when he moves to Boston.
San Francisco offers a higher oscillation of temperature change and a high ratio for gay men and lesbians. These actually create opportunities as well as challenges for local SF artists. If you dress too metrosexual, girls will think you are gay and you may receive too much attention from gay men (which I have learned is not a bad thing if you can convert it into social value to open a hot girl). A very metrosexual man in a feminine scarf may do very well in San Francisco but fail miserably in Detroit, assuming that game is held constant.
Even among local areas, different venues have different unspoken dress attires. For example in San Francisco, if you go to DNA Lounge, most of the coolest guys there have semi goth/rocker styles, and this style will not do well in a high end bar like the Matrix in the marina, where most guys are dressed in preppy attire with suits, ties, and business casual clothing.
Different venues have gay nights or Goth nights, and you should learn to adapt to the theme of the bar that you are attending on specific days of the week.
Game can compensate for these variables if you are good, but try not to come to the basketball game with a soccer ball. The master stylist understands when and how to adapt to local situations.