As the night progresses, the women will be hit on more and more guys using the same boring approach. A guy will be standing there at the bar waiting his turn. He finally figures out what to say (which he thinks is so clever and original), but it is really the exact same rap all the other guys have been trying. The guy finally gets his turn, only to find he gets shot down even more quickly than the previous guys.

Why does he get shot down more quickly? Because she’s already heard what he’s trying on her, and her patience is at a nighttime low for all the un-clever banter that’s being tried on her.

Not only is this something that men do, men will repeat this again and again every Friday night hoping that this time it will work. They might as well send the 100 dollars they spend in the bar to a charity; at least then the money will be put to good use.

The other guy you see all the time in bars is the “routine guy.” You know, the guy who’s been practicing his routine for weeks just for this moment, only to walk over nervously and get off on the wrong foot, because women can smell a bad routine from a mile away.

Plus, a bad routine usually has the man talking nonstop. Because he’s so nervous and he doesn’t want even a moment of silence, he becomes “routine man.” He’ll either be telling a story or asking a bunch of predetermined questions, but he never listens to the woman’s response to know what is appropriate to say next.

The “routine man” will only work on drunk 22-year-old club women, and then brag about all the numbers he gets. He’s getting them, though, because the majority of women giving them will never actually have a date with him.

Do you want to be a routine guy so you can brag to your friends about all the numbers you get?

Or, do you desire to be a Selector – a man who not only gets the number, but the woman can’t wait for him to call. What’s more, many times when you are a Selector, women will actually chase you.

Let’s talk further about how to be a Selector and make this happen.

A selector will walk over to a group of women with a clever opener based on observations he’s just made about the situation that will get the group speaking and the women competing for his attention. For instance, you’re in a bar, and a group of women are standing there. They’ve already rejected two or three guys. A routine guy will walk over with the same rap that those last guys gave. A selector will walk over with a purpose – he is going to get every woman intrigued by him.

I know I’m teaching you that you should just be in the moment and use observations around you, but I confess, sometimes it’s good to have some openers to fall back on in case you just can’t think of anything based on your observations. One of my favorites in a bar is “the text opener.” I will have my friend text me this into my phone:

“Hmmm… Last night was really interesting. What are you doing later? :)”

With this in your phone, you now need a back story.

Here’s one I like. You went out with a woman the night before, had a glass of wine, and said goodnight without any kiss. With this background you can now approach the group of women and ask “Can I have your opinion on something?” And then you tell them the situation from your back story.

You explain to them about the date the night before, and then pass them the phone to ask what you should do. This is where the fun begins, as every one of them will have a comment. And most of the time, a few minutes later you’ll have learned their booty-call rules and their dating habits!

I’ll say it again, I’m not a big routine guy, which is why I hesitate sharing this story in the Fearless Code. Everything I teach is about observation and being present in the moment so you can connect with women.

But bars are a different ball game, because a majority of women are very guarded when they go into a bar. Truthfully, I don’t blame them. If I were out on a Friday night, and every guy walking by looked at me like a piece of meat just missing a little A1 sauce, I’d act the same way.

However most of the time women don’t exactly make it easy for us guys.

Most women don’t make themselves available when they go out on a Friday night. They hover in packs and barely make any eye contact with men. As such, we feel like we have to come up with something to say to get your attention and “hello” just doesn’t seem to cut it.

So in order to become the selector, you also have to be able to be unique and different from the others. As a Selector you may have little routines from time to time, but the key is not what you say… it’s how you say it, and how you listen. If you listen for all the little clues that women give, you will become the selector.

So try this routine out in a bar, and you will realize that women will not only find this entertaining and fun, but different. Not only that, by saying you went out on a date and then having them see what’s in that text, they will wonder what you said on an hour-long date that made her text you the very next night.

I taught one of my clients this approach at a bootcamp, and afterwards, all the women in the group he approached wanted him. One walked by and let her business card fall. Another one met him near the bathroom. Yes, women will behave this way once they realize you are not like every other guy out there!

The one he initially spoke to when he walked over to the group called him twenty minutes after he left the bar. Believe it or not, they all became hookups for him! (It turns out they were together for a business function, so they weren’t all friends. We both know better than to try and hookup with a group of friends in the same social circle!)

My client e-mailed me the other day and said “I’ve stopped chatting them up, because being a selector always works, and I have no time anymore for all these women.”

The power of being the selector is within you. Women desire the man who selects them not the man who begs them for attention. Time for you to kick ass and start learning how to listen and attract all the women you desire! It’s all about confidence and not worrying about what you look like or what happens if you get turned down. The more you talk to women, the greater chance of success you’ll have.