In this post we will be discussing some of the most common female relationship issues.

My boyfriend wants to take things further, but I don’t.

confused girl photo

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and he wants to take things further. He always tries it on even though I’ve told him I want to wait until I’m older. I’m happy to kiss and cuddle but I’m not ready to have sex yet. I’m scared that if I don’t sleep with him he might find someone else who will. I want the first time I have sex to be special and not because I feel under pressure to do it. I suppose boys do expect to have sex when they’re in a relationship, but how do I get him to understand how I feel?

Answer

What your boyfriend ‘expects’ in this case is not important, because this is about you! It is your body and this is your decision – and he needs to respect this. If he is putting pressure on you to do something you don’t want to do, then he’s the one at fault and not you. Sit down and patiently explain your feelings to him and how the pressure from him is making you feel. If he cannot grasp this and he continues to pressurise you to take things further, then it may be best to think about finding someone else who respects your wishes.

I am Terrified I am  Catching Sexually Transmitted infection!

sexual problems

Ever I since we heard about STIs and how dangerous they are in a sex education leaflet given out at school, I’ve been terrified of having sex in case I catch one! The idea that you can get fatal diseases without knowing about it is also really scary. Why would anyone take the risk of having unprotected sex? How can I make sure I never catch one? Really, it’s my worst nightmare!

Answer

The best way to avoid catching an STI (sexually transmitted infection) is to avoid having unprotected sex. This means using a condom each and every time you have sex. Unprotected sex often happens because couples are not prepared, are embarrassed or just caught up in the moment. Make sure you are prepared. The STI chlamydia, for instance, is the most commonly diagnosed sexually transmitted disease in the UK. It’s most common in men and women under the age of 25 and you don’t need to have lots of sexual partners to be at risk. Other disease risks are genital warts, gonorrhea, syphilis and HIV/AIDS. That said, I don’t want you to feel that sex is something to avoid for the rest of your life. You need to know the facts so that you can take action and responsibility for yourself. The bottom line is this: make sure you use a condom when you have sex and STIs are far less likely to be an issue!

Can you get pregnant if you have sex standing up?

sex question

My older sister’s best friend has started having sex with her boyfriend. My sister asked her if she used a condom and she said no, but that it was OK because they did it standing up, which means you can’t get pregnant. I’ve heard people say this before. Is it true?

Answer

OK, let’s put this myth to rest once and for all. If your sister’s friend is having sex without a condom she is putting herself in danger not only of becoming pregnant but also of catching a sexually transmitted infection. Whether you are lying down or standing up while having sex it makes no difference whatsoever – sex without contraception can lead to pregnancy. And while we’re on the topic here are a few other MYTHS about getting pregnant that you might hear: ‘A girl can’t get pregnant if it’s her first time’, ‘Showering or taking a bath straight after sex will prevent pregnancy’, ‘A girl can’t get pregnant if she has sex during her period’, ‘A girl cannot get pregnant if the boy ‘withdraws’ before he ejaculates’. These are all myths!

Should I take the morning-after pill and is it safe?

morning after pill

During sex education at school they told us about all the different methods of contraception. But a friend of mine told me recently that if you have sex with a boy and you don’t use anything, then it’s OK to get the morning-after pill the next day from the chemist. Is this true?

Answer

It’s very important to note that the morning-after pill is intended for emergency use only. Using it on a regular basis will disrupt your menstrual cycle (your periods) and is unlikely to work because it’s not designed for repeated use. If a girl is sexually active, using a contraceptive method such as the pill or condoms (or both) is the best protection she can get from pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Your friend is correct that you can get the morning-after pill from your local pharmacy, your GP or a family planning clinic. They will want to have a chat with you first to find out some details about you, why you have come to need the morning-after pill, plus a bit of your medical history. If you’re honest with them they should supply it to you.

It happened to us

I was an idiot. I knew how babies came along but my boyfriend and I didn’t use a condom one night (just one night!) and three weeks’ later I found out I was pregnant. I ended up having an abortion. It was a totally depressing experience. I know it was the right choice for me but I have really learned my lesson the hard way.

Miriam,17

My parents didn’t speak to me about sex. I guess they found it a difficult subject and left it for the school (and kids in the playground!) to teach me. I didn’t pay much attention in class at that point, I was too busy messing about. When it turned out I was pregnant I was already six months gone. I love my baby daughter now, even though it means I had to scrap plans of going to university and I rarely get to go out. I’m not sure what my future holds at the moment.

Michelle,18

I fell pregnant when a condom split during sex with my longterm boyfriend. I didn’t go to the doctor for the morning-after pill because I thought it would be just too unlucky to get pregnant. When I started to get sick in the mornings I knew. I was only 16 at the time and far too young to have a baby. I ended up having an abortion. My boyfriend and I are still together, but we don’t leave anything to chance now!

Kate,19

I’m pregnant at the moment. I chose to get pregnant because my boyfriend and I were in love and wanted to get married. We were only young but I believed in true love. My boyfriend walked out on me about three months into the pregnancy. I was devastated. I’m due to give birth next month and I know that being on my own is not going to be easy. If I could have my time again I would wait until I was in my 20s at least and more settled with a job and a home.

Zoe, 18