My Very First Thoughts On Attraction
Back when I was in grade school, attraction seemed to be completely based on good looks.
If a girl thought a boy was cute, she would write him a love note and they would become boyfriend and girlfriend.
It went on like this for a few years until about high school when something shifted.
I started seeing things that didn’t quite make sense. I saw guys who were complete pricks getting women left and right. I saw guys who were goof offs who got bad grades, and even ugly guys getting the girls that I so desperately wanted.
It was no longer about looks.
Sure, if a guy was extremely good-looking he would attract some female attention, and some women would even outright tell him that they were interested.
Hell, it even happened to me a few times.
The problem was, a woman falling into my lap only happened about 1-2 times every year.
I thought long and hard about why this was and the more I thought about it, the more confused I became.
Was it their sculpted, muscular bodies? Nope.
I saw plenty of guys with huge muscles without girlfriends.
Was it their intelligence? Nope.
I knew a couple of really smart guys who were also good looking who couldn’t get a date to save their life.
looked everywhere but couldn’t find the answer.
Every time I thought I was onto something I would find five examples proving it was wrong.
What was a guy to do if he liked a girl and wanted to attract her?
The Dating Lottery
So as a man, I was faced with a problem.
I realized that if I wanted to have more than 1-2 opportunities to go on a date each year then I had to become really good looking overnight… or become a rock star.
Actually, there was one other option.
I realized I could get proactive about the whole thing and start approaching women.
I’m sure you could imagine how scared I was to start approaching women for the very first time.
I still had trouble speaking up to answer a question in class never mind approaching a girl I’d never met before to try to get a date with her…
Anyway, I faced my fear and did some approaches.
And very quickly, I realized that this would be harder than I first thought…
The Early Frustrations I Faced As A Pickup Artist
When I first started approaching women, I realized that if I was too forward or showed too much interest it was very common for a woman to reject me.
It seemed like saying “I have a boyfriend” was every woman’s automatic response when any guy showed any interest whatsoever!
Well, I wasn’t dumb, I saw those aloof guys getting women so I decided that I would pretend I wasn’t interested at all.
I swung completely the other way and started to fake disinterest. After all, if I didn’t show interest, I couldn’t get rejected, right?
It was even worse than when I was straightforward about my intention.
The girl would either sense that I was pretending and distrust me or think that she had no chance at all and lose interest.
So I started on my quest for “techniques”.
I read some books; I went online.
I memorized a few lines and started using them in my interactions.
And sometimes I would get great reactions!
But other times I would fail miserably… even though I was saying the same things that sometimes worked.
It got me thinking.
Finally I realized something profound.
I began to see a pattern emerge: If I felt really good, I would do well no matter what I said, but if I felt so-so I would get rejected.
Although I was still pretty bad at the time, it was this realization that ultimately inspired me to spawn an entire movement of Natural Game pickup artists.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves…
My First Encounter With A Super Natural
About ten years ago I was out in a club and saw a man who was probably the best guy with women I had ever met.
His name was Tony and he could practically have any woman he wanted.
To his credit, Tony was not very good looking at all. He wasn’t a tall guy; he was actually a bit shorter than I am.
But this guy could pull.
Let me tell you… He could go into any club in NYC and walk up to the hottest women and sometimes leave with 2 or 3 of them.
If anyone could tell me the secret to success with women, it was him!
I got together all of my strength and confidence and approached this guy hoping that he might share his secrets.
I ended up sitting at the bar with him and I asked him what made him so good with women.
He immediately turned the conversation around and asked me about what I did to attract women. I started explaining what I did back then. I don’t remember exactly what I told him, but I remember it was pretty structured…
His reaction was priceless.
He told me “If you have to think about all of that, you’ll never be successful with women. Why make things hard? Pick-up is EASY.”
Now, being an analytical guy, I couldn’t accept his explanation. It wasn’t complicated enough; at the time it made no sense to me.
And although I didn’t understand it at the time now it makes perfect sense.
Throwing My Routine “Cheat Sheet” Out Of The Window
When I dabbled with memorizing really long routines, I saw more evidence of what he was talking about.
Early on, I would memorize all kinds of stuff before I went out to meet women.
And it was interesting…
Maybe it was just me but I noticed that the less my mind was filled with technical structures and details, the more attention I had available to interact socially…
And not only that, the less prepared I was, the more spontaneous I would become.
I was really starting to understand where Tony was coming from… I finally understood what was meant by “Natural Game” and wrote extensively about it, introducing it to the online community of pick-up artists.
One Thing You Must Do!
Perhaps you know exactly what you are looking for.
Or maybe you just have a vague idea that something isn’t right and you’re hoping for a solution.
At the very least, since you’re reading this article I’m willing to bet that you’re ready for a change.
Well, I don’t profess to have all the answers….
But one thing is for certain.
I have massive success with women. I don’t even have enough time in the day for all the opportunities that seem to fall into my lap.
If most men saw the caliber of women I was turning down on a daily basis, their jaws would drop straight to the floor in sheer disbelief.
I have reverse-engineered the entire process to the point where I can take guys who are nearly “hopeless” and systematically train them to move through the world like effortless naturals.
As you know, I couldn’t always do this.
In fact I’m pretty sure I’ve made every mistake a guy can make with women.
So what did I do to turn it around?
Besides seeking out the very best naturals in the world, I looked everywhere I could for answers. I read all the books on how to be successful with women. I went out to bars, clubs and malls relentlessly and kept detailed journals of my progress….
But most importantly I took action.
Do not ever let a book, article or merely “watching” others replace your own responsibility to take action. That is the only way you will grow in this area of your life.
Don’t get me wrong, I put a lot of my own insight and realizations into this and upcoming articles, and its ultimate purpose is to give you a shortcut on your path to mastering this area of your life, and literally shave years off of your learning curve…
But you still have to take deliberate action.
So how do you know what’s the best course of action?
Society, the media, your friends, parents and even women all give conflicting advice, which can be hard to sort through. Though well intentioned, much of this advice may not work or may not be right for your personality type.
Even the “Online Community” is full of contradicting theories that create more confusion than clarity.
If you simply knew where to go, what to focus on and what to do to meet and attract women, I’d be willing to bet that you would be totally willing to put your whole being on that path.
Stay Tuned. I will talk to you soon!