Powerful PUA Mindsets Covering Inner Game
I am going to learn the “ I can mentality “.
Insecurity is the feeling of not being good enough/helplessness/a fear of being discovered inadequate. and I am going to eliminate that.
The insecurity test: close my eyes and imagine walking up to a beautiful women unprovoked in a night club, then imagine picking up the phone to call a woman for the first time, imagine walking into my bedroom with a beautiful women. Now make a note of any anxiety inside (a vague sense of uneasiness.) see in which of these situations the anxiety was the highest.
Now why banish insecurity?? because it will make me comfortable in my own skin and I will project a confident vibe and people are naturally attracted to that.
Where did the insecurity come from? It comes from a poorly developed self-concept with poor self-esteem, never feeling accepted by others, unrealistic list of rules and expectations, a poor body image. Not enough positive reinforcement or feedback, always felt overshadowed or overlooked, sexual inexperience, social inexperience.
Now how do I get rid of the insecurity?? well I have to be willing to be put in venerable positions, take risks (calculated risks) to change your current behaviors (the ability to take risks, speed of implementation, creating momentum are all keys of life) you never get something for nothing so I have to give the risk to get the reward, I have to trust others in off to expose myself to them, I have to have a healthy and humorous beliefs in myself believe you can do it so you can do anything( take for example the wolf of wall street), take a rational approach to each problem I face. Practice assertive behaviors, arouse the courage to take small steps (because they build momentum which is one of the keys to success.), and break the barrier and the outer shell of my self-doubt. Heal any childhood wound and get it out of the way of my success.
We want to change too core beliefs which are “ I m not good enough” and “ my image of success for myself” and to do this, first I need to find the root of the problem, then invalidate the problem ( learn to notice when the child in me is acting out and rationalize it and then forgive man-boy inside of me),now stop comparing myself to other people( in my case just look up to successful, athletic people and work on myself to improve myself. But don’t compare and feel sad).then always consider my known strength( in my case, tall, good looking, athletic body, learning a decent major that will make lots of money pretty soon. Willing to learn…).
Ps: Don’t judge anybody because it reinforces the sense of perfectionism in myself, look at them neutrally and then I will start feeling like they are looking at me neutrally and that will lower the anxiety.)
So the exercises I should do! Always ask myself “ is man-boy or man scared??” , always ask fact or fiction on limiting beliefs, be judge free and have a judgment free weak and try not to pigeon whole other people and do not try to know how attractive they are and where do they fit in a group… just try it.
The other way to beat insecurity is the lack of self-trust. Do not second guess! Fear and anxiety stems from the lack of self trust and people will not feel comfortable around me if I don’t really have self trust it will manifest in the vibe and in the body language.
Read the books by ann ran.
Don’t let the belief that it is supposed to be easy when seeing other people that have it. Because they did what I am doing right now learning an modeling successful people consciously or unconsciously at an early age they took risks at an early age and they gained experience than practice then momentum. I am doing that currently and I am going to get the same results pretty soon.
Now the steps to self trust:
Turn off the noise. Just don’t overload information it will just let me stay stuck in my head and I fill my noise n my head. Just turn off the noise and acknowledge what I know. Stop for a second stop thinking about what I don’t know and what I need to learn and just think about what I do know and what I have already learned. Because it might just be enough that I have never want to get through another program again.
Win some battles, take the risk, reap the reward and create and use the momentum.
Pep up the I can mentality! Just have the I can do that, I can do this, I can I can I can.
Stop reading! And learning and studying and go out and use my acquired knowledge win a battle.
Reflex thinking: it’s the voice inside my head that causes anxiety, self sabotage, and the blunderer (the guy that over analyses everything), and that shell of insulation. It’s the fear of measuring up, getting stuck inside my own head, hiding from the real world, emotional detachment(relying too much on routines.)
Remember no one is over analyzing the mistakes I make because they are busy analyzing what they did and said.
So how to beat reflexive thinking?? Tune in to the moment and start talking to somebody, observe what is going around you, imagine being drunk with confidence. Let go of the thoughts that are going inside my head.
If I hear too much noise and too many thoughts in my mind just imagine me kicking them out of my head, round kicking them or jab them or whatever into infinite space. And practice some meditation and mind calming techniques those help.
Confident people projects their vulnerability , I should start risking my vulnerability because if I don’t ill be stuck in my head and I will start believing the stories I am telling myself.
Go outside my comfort zone( that’s when wondrous things starts to happen).and fucking give up perfectionism and I have to be willing to go and make mistakes that’s the name of the game’s will never be able to calculate every single interaction. Go make mistakes and learn from them, and keep going out making mistakes and learning, see the box that I am in it and visualize myself getting out of it.
Write down the where I refuse to leave my comfort zone, write down all the lies I tell myself and practice therapeutic recklessness(get used to the situations where I am unprepared to the situations that I don’t have control in it the ones that gives me butterflies I should have the most fun in them. Step out of that box of control) in this case it means approaching women without knowing what to say and just riff on the material she gives me just go with it and see where does it lead.