Round The World Experts Share Their Confidence Building Secrets
As the title suggests, you will be reading the secret tips and techniques from the experts round the world. They are going to help you to build and boost your confidence levels so that you can become a more attractive and charming person.
There is a bonus video at the end of this article in which you will watch two of the famous coaches talk about confidence.
DJ Fuji Shares His Confidence Building Secrets
Confidence is one of those weird things that everybody wants but you can‟t get it directly. You can‟t go to the store and just buy it, right? Confidence is what I call a by-product. It‟s something that you get as a result of some sort of action. There is contextual or situational confidence – where you‟re confident because you are good at something. And then there is core confidence, which is that you basically believe in yourself as a whole at your core.
Situational confidence can be acquired simply by getting good at something. Core confidence is a lot harder to acquire, but it‟s also a lot more powerful. With core confidence – the easiest way that I found, the fastest way that I found – is to do the things that scare you because actions influence beliefs very much. Every time you do something that scares you and you don‟t die from it – you deal with the thing that challenge you the most – you find out, “Ah, you know, that wasn‟t a big deal. I can do that.” It increases your confidence a little bit at a time. And so after a while you realize, “You know what, I‟m confident. I‟m confident I have the ability to succeed no matter what‟s thrown at me.” And that belief in yourself, that‟s really what confidence is all about.
John Alanis Shares His Confidence Building Secrets
I was a big fan of NFL coach Bill Parcells when he had his career. Some of the best self-development stuff I‟ve ever heard was during interviews and press conferences he did. Parcells always said that “Confidence comes from demonstrated ability and demonstrated ability allows you to play fast.” So to build self-confidence, you first have to demonstrate ability. It‟s the same thing if you demonstrate to yourself that you have enough confidence to smile at a woman, to say “hi” to a woman, and to talk to her again. You ladder yourself on the way up, building confidence as you go. Because you demonstrate to yourself that you have the ability to do it. That it is not a one-time thing. It‟s a predictable, controllable behavior. The more you do it, the more confident you get because what you begin to realize is that this attraction stuff is not something that happens or something that‟s random or something that‟s mere chance.
It is a very scientific, predictable thing, and when you see that, it really gives you confidence because you realize that if you engage in certain type of behaviors and avoid other types of behaviors, women will be attracted to you.
Kezia Noble Shares Confidence Building Tips And Tricks For Guys
I‟m a not a confidence coach and I actually don‟t use the word “confidence” with my students. A lot of girls use this kind of feedback with a guy: “Just be more confident, buddy. You know, just act more confident.” And this is really quite damaging to say that. These guys are confident. They are confident in certain areas of their lives. The fact that they can hold onto a job or they‟ve supported someone who‟s ill or they have gotten around the world, whatever it is shows they have a certain level of confidence. When someone says, “Look, you don‟t have any confidence with women,” that makes more sense than saying that you have no confidence or you need more confidence. So I tend to stay away from that word completely.
What they don‟t have are skills. They don‟t have knowledge. They don‟t know how to talk to women. It‟s not that they have no confidence; they just haven‟t learned the skills yet. If you tell that to somebody that makes a lot more sense and it‟s a lot more encouraging than “you‟ve got no confidence.”
But I am a great believer in behavioral therapy. So what I do with my students is I get them to stand in a certain way and behave in a certain way in terms of body language. And I find that when they start taking on this body language, their mind and their emotions start to catch up, so the actions shape the beliefs rather than the beliefs shape the actions.
You can tell people, “OK, stand like a confident person or your idea of a confident person. Talk like a confident person, and you will eventually become that person because your brain and your emotions have to catch up with what your body is doing. “
A perfect example is Richard Branson, the English multi-billionaire entrepreneur. He‟s a very, very outgoing person, and in his book he says he was a really shy person when he was younger so he became this persona that was alien to him at first, but now he is a confident, sociable person.
Entropy Shares His Confidence Building Secrets
The absolute quickest way is to just throw yourself into the deep end. The way we develop confidence is through “reference experiences.” Now, these could happen in a lot of different ways. The best way is by getting out there and trying to fake it until you make it. Put yourself in front of a woman and try something new, try something that you’re not used to doing. But it can also be built watching others do it successfully. It can be built through affirmations and visualizations. But unfortunately those things aren’t as effective or efficient as really just getting out there and doing it.
Marni Wing Girl Shares Confidence Building Tips For Guys
Self confidence comes from starting at the very basics. You can‟t approach a woman until you can approach people in general. What I advise people to do is something very similar to what I did myself to get over my fear of approaching people and interacting in social situations: I went out every single day and I engaged ten people. I would start off by saying, “What time is it?” or “Do you know where this is?” And then slowly I would move up the ladder in challenging statements to make and questions to ask. I would give myself assignments. I wasn‟t just asking them what time it was, I would start asking them questions about their day. I would make an effort to smile, and then again, I would work my way up the ladder. And when I got really comfortable approaching people, I would move on to my next target audience. So for me, I was targeting people who I wanted to be friends with.
I think a lot of people don‟t realize that being social is actually a skill, just like playing the piano or playing tennis. It takes time. It takes practice. I wouldn‟t sit down at a piano and play as if I was Mozart. It would take time and practice to get to that point.
Nick Quick Shares His Confidence Building Tips
Learn some fucking skills. They did a study about this a while ago with all these people who were deemed to have had high self-esteem in high school. They were always told how awesome they were, but none of them really had any skills. And so what they found out is when they were ever questioned on their skills or their abilities, they would either get very violent or they would just run away. So if you actually go out and learn some skills, you will be able to perform well when you are in those situations that require them.
Richard La Ruina Shares His Confidence Building Tips And Tricks
Confidence for me actually came from getting results. It came from a sense of improvement. So my confidence now is based on my history of success. And you might even say on approval – based on so many women saying yes and so many people who I respect that enjoy spending time with me. That‟s where my confidence comes from today.
My confidence, back in the day, came from the idea that I was going to get where I wanted to get to. That by having the right mentors around, by having the right tools and by following a road map, success was inevitable. There will be some bumps along the way. If a guy, for example, goes out and he doesn‟t have any openers and he doesn‟t know how to ask for her number, he‟s not going to be very confident.
But even just having a few tools, a few things you‟re going to say – maybe you‟ve seen a video of how it‟s done or whatever it might be – that‟s one of the things that will give you confidence.
You can‟t build confidence by sitting in your house. It‟s something that comes from taking action and getting positive feedback on that action. I‟ve seen guys try to work on their confidence and after just a few hours working with a trainer or going and talking to women, you notice that they‟ve got a different energy about them. They‟re glowing, and you could describe that as the external display of confidence building in the guy.
Scot McKay Shares His Confidence Building Tips
Here is what I always tell guys: that it has nothing to do with women per se. Go and find what you‟re good at, and make sure you do what you‟re good at quite often. There are people who are in jobs where they shouldn‟t be. I know so many people who are in sales because they couldn‟t find another job and they‟re just not salespeople. They just go work and beat their heads against the wall every day. I‟ve seen the soul dragged out of people by being in the wrong jobs.
So even when it comes to your job, you‟ve got to be doing something you‟re good at. When you‟re off the clock go do what you enjoy and do more of it. If you find yourself really good at running, then you should enter some running contests and win them. If you‟re not good at running, you should stay away from it. Don‟t force yourself to enjoy stuff that you don‟t like. A lot of self-confidence comes from self-competence. In other words, if I‟m good at something, then all of a sudden, it‟s going to become routine for me to excel at it. And when it becomes routine for me to excel at it, then I‟m just going to become better and better at it, and the more competence I get, the more confidence I get.
Jon Sinn Shares His Confidence Building Tips
One of the best things for self-confidence is actual success. A lot of guys set themselves up to fail when they first start talking to girls because instead making it their goal to start a conversation; they think they have to get a girl‟s phone number. That is setting yourself up to fail.
The dictionary‟s definition of confidence is belief in yourself. It’s really hard to believe in your abilities to do things if you’re constantly setting everything up so that you fail. The only way that you can find success is through outcomes that give you loads of self-confidence. If you set lower goals, you’re going to feel more confident in doing them and that’s going to lead to having more confidence in the first 5 minutes which will lead to faking it until you make it.
As promised here is the video