The 7 Secrets to Mastering the Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is an innate ability in human beings to be aware of their own feelings and that of the others. Unlike Intelligence Quotient, we can develop our emotional intelligence and become more aware of our emotional responses.
Having strong emotional intelligence can significantly improves your relationship management. Apart from improving your personal relations, emotional intelligence also enhances your professional relationships which in turn accentuate your performance.
According to Talent Smart, emotional intelligence is the leading indicator of success (58%) in majority of the jobs. It also illustrates that 90% of the employees who have higher performance in the workplace have higher levels of emotional intelligence, while only 20% of the underperformers have high emotional intelligence.
Considering the significance of this important human element, we present here ways you can improve your emotional intelligence and your productivity as a person and professional:
Pay Attention to Your Emotional Responses
We process emotional information every day. In a haste of moment, we tend to overlook this information that could be a help in making us more aware of our emotional responses. By using this information, we can make informed decisions based on our emotional state.
To get in touch with your emotions, you need to practice evaluating your feelings on daily basis. What you need to do is to focus on your thought patterns. You need to connect the line of thoughts and learn about your mental and emotional responses. Do it on daily basis until it becomes a habit.
Learn to Empathize
Empathy is an ability to feel the emotion of a person using his frame of reference. It allows a person to place himself in the situation of a person and analyze how it feels to be in that position. Empathizing with others allows us to respond rationally to the people.
When you become aware of how it feels to be in a particular situation, it becomes easier for you to put yourself in somebody’s shoes. This knowledge is particularly helpful when you have to deal with negative or frustrated people. By realizing their emotional state, you are able to deal with them with a more sensible approach.
Notice the Changes In Your Body
Our body defines our mood to a large extent. How we feel from inside manifests on our body in several ways. For example, when you are stressed, you feel shortness of breath and a tight chest. Similarly, it is common to feel butterfly in the stomach when you are feeling nervous or excited.
Getting these clues from our body makes us more familiarized with our emotional state and enables us to manage our emotions in a healthy way.
Instead of developing negativity towards someone and let your frustration out as a result of contained anger, you should communicate your concerns with the person. Similarly, if you are suffering from pain, you should face it rather than venting it out with anger. Remember that it is not the situation but the attitude that makes it good or bad.
See Yourself Through the Eyes of Others
Sometimes, people form a wrong perception about us based on our behavior. There is a possibility that people perceive you differently from what you actually are. The difference in their opinions could be based on ignorance about your feelings.
Let’s say, you accidentally meet an acquaintance after a bad day and you gave him cold shoulders because you want to avoid a conversation. The person could mistake your cold behavior as arrogance. But if you can explain to him how you felt that particular day, he will understand your position.
We all have such behavioral outcome that people perceive as good or bad. By learning about this crucial aspect of humans, we can understand how people perceive us. This is called perspective-taking and it can improve our perception in the eyes of the people.
Do a Self-Analysis
Emotional intelligence is only fruitful when you are able to exercise it in your life. It can be achieved when you realize your emotional weaknesses and make deliberate efforts to get rid of them. However, you can do it only when you are honest with yourself. You cannot trigger a change when you keep yourself in self-deception.
Therefore, it is first important that you do a reality check and find out the weak links in your personality. Start by accepting the fact that you are a human and you can make mistakes. Therefore, you should admit your inappropriate behavior that hurt someone or caused him a suffering. Similarly, you should admit a mistake when you were rude to your spouse just because you failed to notice her mood.
Remember that emotional intelligence will only be useful when you are able to use it in improving your behavior with others.
Respond, Don’t React
There is a difference between reacting and responding to a situation. Reading a situation allows you to respond to a situation based on awareness, while reacting to a situation only makes it worse. When you learn this art, you are able to anticipate your own emotional response and become more mindful of the emotional state of others. In this way, you are in more control of your emotions which helps you in dealing with the people.
Learn About Behavioral Pattern
Our behavior reveals much about our emotional state. Learning about our behavior pattern makes us aware of how we behave in certain situations. Realizing your behavior system also allows you to preempt future situations and timely respond to them.
Therefore, it is important to notice the changes in your behavior whenever you feel nervous, stressed, frustrated or sad. Such a information can be helpful in preparing yourself to deal with a tricky situation.
Learning emotional intelligence helps you become a more balanced person. When you develop emotional intelligence, you are able to develop a better understanding of your emotional responses which helps you in dealing with your relationships.
Moreover, you are able to manage your fears and insecurities which improve your emotional health. In the long run, it makes you a more balanced person and enhances your quality of life.