Things Your Father Never Told You About Being Nice To Women
In this article top dating coaches and experts will be telling you what you father never told you about being nice to women. Lets dive into it now.
Carlos Xuma Shares His Take On Being Nice To Women
Nice guys, unfortunately, are guilty of really just lacking the ability to bring out their masculine confidence. The bad boy is different than a jerk. A jerk is the guy that’s taking things way too far; he’s kind of going over the edge. He has some of the same attraction qualities, some of the things that women enjoy, but unfortunately he attracts some of the women that guys want to avoid, which are the women who have their own issues. So there’s a big difference there. But nice guys can be using the bad boy edge of their personality without having to act like jerks. It’s simply a little bit of social calibration.
The fact is that 99% of all the nice guys I’ve ever coached or counseled they can’t go that way. It’s very difficult to go from a nice guy to a total jerk. It’s so hard because the nice guy is, by his nature, nice. He has a conscience. He has, I should say, the compass that’s pointing him towards being a good guy, and not a jerk. So it’s not something that most guys have to worry about. And if you’re always staying authentic and connected to who you are as a man, it’s even less of a concern. Because again, you’re grounding yourself with your sense of masculinity, and that’s really what women pick up on as being this bad boy edge.
Christian Hudson On Why Women Are Attracted To Bad Boys
Well with nice guys, the reason those guys are nice guys is usually they prioritize other people’s needs above their own. Bad boys prioritize their own needs above those of other people. And the reason that’s often attractive to women is because that appears to be confidence. In some, the line between confidence and arrogance is very thin. Confidence is based on recognition of one’s true value. Arrogance is based on the representation of one’s value even if it’s not based on anything that’s there. And a lot of bad boys are basically arrogant and project that, “Hey, my way or the highway.” And people, especially women, are looking for leaders in their lives or people who are convinced about themselves and about who they are.
You don’t have to be a jerk, but you do have to be assertive, and you have to set your own boundaries. This has come up so many times in my relationships where I’m dating somebody and they cross the boundary. It could be that they say something offensive or do something in public that’s embarrassing to me and I say, “Hey, listen. I’m not putting up with that. That’s not how people in my life treat me, and, you know, you’re in or you’re out.” So it’s really all about establishing what you want, prioritizing that first and foremost, and allowing yourself to go after it. And the final point to this is that what you want is inclusive of wanting to kiss her, wanting to be with her.
But ultimately jerks, the one thing they do that nice guys don’t do is they go after what they want and they’re assertive about it. So I think that’s where it all starts, just going after what you want, being assertive and setting boundaries that are important for you and give you the strength to bring people in and let people go according to your own whims and your own life.
David Wygant On Why You Should Never Be A Bad Guy
You are never going to be a bad boy, so get rid of that thought. You don’t know how to be a jerk. You don’t know how to be an ass. You don’t know how to be that type of person, but what you know how to be is honest. You know how to wear your heart on your sleeve. You know how to communicate with people. You know how to be nice. And what life is about is chemistry. Do you really want that woman who is attracted to the bad boy just because she looks hot? The reason why she is attracted to the guy that treats her like shit is because she feels lousy about herself, so do you want to be around women that you have to abuse mentally and maybe even abuse physically? Do you really want that dynamic in your life? Do you desire that just because she’s hot? That’s your penis talking, OK? That’s all it is.
There are so many women out there who are gorgeous and beautiful who want a real man: a man that’s sensitive. I’m not talking about crying on a date. I’m talking about a man who can wear his heart on his sleeve; a man who is open and honest, a man who goes after what he wants and knows what he wants and doesn’t care what people think. That to me is a nice guy. These so-called player types – all they’re getting is low self-esteemed women because technically, they have low self-esteem themselves.
Dean Cortez On Why Nice Guys Fail To Attract Women
Many times the nice guys are the ones who have the biggest agendas. The reason why they’re being so nice and trying to be a girl’s friend and trying to be the harmless buddy is because they want to fuck the girl the same as any other guy wants to fuck the girl. But the nice guy tries to go about it in sort of a roundabout way. He tries to fool the girl into thinking that he’s just her friend. He doesn’t have any other intentions and he’s hoping that, at some point, she’ll realize this guy is the right guy for her to be dating. It never works out that way. While the nice guy is being the sympathetic listener and being her shoulder to cry on, she’s going on and banging the bad boys. We’ve all been in that situation and it sucks.
None of us want to be a creep. No one in this community teaches guys how to manipulate women or how to abuse them and take advantage of them. But what you want to be is a good guy, a guy with a solid character and integrity, but a guy who has a bit of a bad boy edge. And by a bad boy edge, a guy who is independent, who is opinionated, who makes decisions and who has a full exciting lifestyle going on with or without women.
I have a whole program actually called “The Bad Boy Blueprint” that really breaks this down and shows guys how to integrate this bad boy edge into their whole game. But one thing to remember here is that bad boys also are not afraid to sexualize the conversation. There is no mistaking when a bad boy is talking to a girl that he is attracted to her, he is letting her know, he’s giving off signals and he’s flirting.
It’s important to flirt with women. You can’t always be the harmless buddy. You’ve got to sexualize the conversation, and this is all about knowing how to escalate both physically and verbally. When you see a guy at a bar who is really good with women, a guy who has really strong game, after five or ten minutes of talking to that girl, there is no mistaking the fact that he is trying to sleep with her. And he’s getting her in a playful, fun and flirtatious mood. He is picking her up. And if he is doing his job correctly, then she loves every minute of it, because women go out to be picked up. The problem is that so few guys understand how to flip a woman’s attraction switches and have her stay out of that that silly friend zone and sexualize the interaction and take it towards the result that both of them want, which is sex, fun, good times, and maybe a relationship.
John Alanis On Why You Should Never Be A Nice Guy
I am actually pretty harsh on nice guys because to me they are just as manipulative as the jerks are. More so maybe, because they have a certain expectation of what women should respond to, and they seek to impose that will on them and become frustrated and bitter when women don’t respond to that. So to me, that always is as bad as the manipulative jerk who is good at creating attraction, but in the end we find has no mysteries at all. So what you have to understand with the nice guy is that there are certain sets of behaviors that create attraction with women and a certain set of behaviors that kills attraction in women.
If you look at the bad boy or a jerk, what you can do is you can distill from him those behaviors that create attraction, while removing those dysfunctional behaviors, such as being mean, mistreating women, physical abuse, and all that type of stuff. So the reason that women gravitate to bad boys and jerks is that elusive feeling of chemistry with them. And they’re willing to pay the price of having all the bad stuff happen as opposed to being with the boring, nice guy who they feel as much attraction to as they do a cardboard box. So you have to realize that as a nice guy you have to engage in those behaviors: being naughty, funny, playful, or teasing to make her feel that chemistry that she craves without the dysfunctional behaviors.
But if you look at the traditional nice guy behaviors of being sweet, kind, sensitive, respectful – those won’t make a woman feel anything that she wants.