Top Dating Coaches Talk About Physical Attractiveness
Lets first read what David Wygant has to say:
Everybody is attractive. Let me tell you the story of Behar. Behar was my college roommate. At 21, he was bald, getting fat and he had more hair on his mustache than he did growing on the top of his head. He used to look at me all the time and say, “You know, you‟re much better looking than I. You don‟t even realize it, and it doesn‟t make a difference. I‟d rather go out looking like I am full of confidence than ever go looking like you, full of insecurities at times.”
Because women don‟t judge you based on your looks, they judge you based on your confidence, your attitude and the way you feel about yourself. So you need to embrace your looks. Hey, if you‟re short, you‟re short. If you‟re tall, you‟re tall. If you‟re skinny, you‟re skinny. If you‟re fat, you‟re fat. But whatever it might be, you need to realize that attitude is what drives women crazy because they want to feel safe and secure in your presence. So start embracing who you are and start using what I call the power of Behar.
Dean Cortez On How To Become Physically Attractive
First off, I do need to say for the record that when gurus out there say, “Looks and money don‟t matter” – that‟s sort of bullshit. Is a guy who is 6‟2 and has chiseled abs and looks like a young Brad Pitt going to have somewhat of an advantage over the guy who is 5‟ 4” and going bald? Of course, he will have a built-in natural advantage, but that‟s all it really is.
It‟s something that works in his favor the same way that having a sense of humor works in your favor. Or the same way being an ambitious guy works in your favor, or how being a really good conversationalist works in your favor. So there are all kinds of ways for you to even yourself up with the guys who maybe are more conventionally handsome than you are. What you‟ve really got to be is well groomed. That‟s the most important thing.
If you‟re well groomed and you‟re wearing clothes that fit and look good on you, you pretty much got the looks department covered because here is the thing you‟ve got to remember, and it‟s a very encouraging motivational thing to remember: the attraction mechanisms of men and women work totally differently. Women are wired to look for certain qualities in a man that we don‟t look for in women. I mean, we‟re pretty simple creatures. We are wired to look for a woman that we want to mate with. We are judging women in terms of their youth, health and fertility.
Now, on the other hand, women judge a man by his social status, by his value and by whether he is a guy who can provide them with a stable and secure environment in which to have their kids. Now, again, this is all happening on the sort of subconscious level. Their female brains are going to screen you when you start talking to them to look for indicators of your status, your value and your stability. Now, you probably equate these characteristics with having money. You probably think, “Well, the hot chicks want to know that you‟re rich before they‟ll be interested.”
But this is not true. And in fact, the funny thing is you do see guys who are not very good-looking, but have some super hot babe on his arm. As guys, we often think, “Well, you know, she‟s a gold-digger obviously. You know, she would never be into him otherwise.” But the truth of the matter is that most guys I know who are very financially successful have core qualities. They‟re leaders. They have social status. They‟re extremely confident. They‟re ambitious. Those are the qualities that women are drawn towards like a magnet. And these are qualities that any guy can project, no matter how much money you make.
Projecting social status can be as simple as having social proof in the environment, maybe by knowing the bartender, the waitresses or the manager in places you routinely visit, so when you go to these environments, you‟re being welcomed. Women will notice you are a guy who has some sort of status and cache in that environment.
Now as far as showing value to women, really it can be as simple as them having fun. Fun is such an overlooked part of the whole attraction process. If you can make a woman have more fun than she was having five minutes ago, she‟s going to want to keep talking to you and she‟ll be willing to go along and follow your lead tonight.
And as far as the third factor of being a guy who women can feel secure with and a guy who they can imagine having a stable future with, it is as simple as being emotionally strong. When guys are needy, when guys are really trying to impress the woman, these are guys who radiate weakness. Women don‟t want a wishy-washy guy. They want a guy who is not afraid to make decisions and lead the interaction.
You can do this in the first five minutes of the conversation. There are ways for you to demonstrate that you are an emotionally secure guy who has a good head on your shoulders and you‟re not seeking validation from women. A lot of this comes down to knowing how to control the conversation and what topics to guide it onto. A lot of techniques come into play here, such as qualification, using push pull, and using teases. These are all conversational tactics that I always use to frame myself as the one controlling the interaction. I‟m the leader and she‟s going to follow my lead, and women find that very attractive.
DJ Fuji Teaches How Guys Can Become Attractive
Physical attraction, if this is from a male point of view, is to have God-given looks. It is such a small part of the equation that it doesn‟t really have that much of an impact. And if you don‟t believe me, go to the mall and look at how many fat, gross guys are with hot girls. You see it and say, “How does this work?” And it goes to show that physical attractiveness is not everything.
Look at Steven Tyler from Aerosmith and he has girls all over him. There is a definite link there that shows that physical attractiveness is not that big of a deal. It‟s such a small percentage of the game.
It would be the equivalent of a boxer worrying about what color shorts he‟s wearing. Does it have an impact on how he‟s going do that night at his fight? It‟s such a small percentage that it‟s not really worth worrying about it.
Instead worry about things like grooming. Worry about things like fashion. Worry about things like posture, body language, confidence, tonality, dominance. Work on the things that are important, just like the boxer who works on stamina. Work on your actual technique. Don‟t worry about the color of shorts you‟re wearing because it‟s so inconsequential to everything else.
John Alanis On How To Become More Attractive And Beat Negative Beliefs
If you are physically unattractive, say with your fat body, you let yourself go – the first thing you need to do is educate yourself about physical fitness, which is an easy thing to do. You just need to go and get yourself in shape. And when you do that, you‟re going to find that you put out a magnetic vibe to women because there are so many guys who are not in good physical shape. So that‟s the first thing that I would say to do.
Now, I‟ve met a lot of guys who are in very good physical shape, who are physically attractive to women, as well, but they believe they‟re unattractive for whatever mysterious reason. And that belief is a killer. It is how you think about yourself that matters. Women make decisions about a man based on their internal feeling about them. It‟s what women call chemistry.
If she feels chemistry around you, looks don‟t matter, age doesn‟t matter, income doesn‟t matter, none of that stuff matters. Yes, you can be the best looking guy, have all the money in the world, have everything on your side, and she‟s not going to want anything to do with you. That feeling of chemistry is created by the behavior that you engage in with a woman. Now, does being physically attractive help? Sure, it accelerates it. But it‟s your behavior that creates that illusive feeling of chemistry in women. That is the most important thing and that has very little to do with physical looks.