There are two primary things which women value above all else in looking for a potential partner:

1) Confidence

2) Honesty

Go look on any dating or social networking site and I guarantee those are the two commonalities you will see listed on virtually every woman’s profile.

First we’re going to cover confidence then make our way down to honesty.

People who are always out to impress others and make others see them a certain way have one other common characteristic:

THEY ALWAYS NEED TO WIN AND PROTECT THEMSELVES FROM FAILURE BECAUSE THEY’RE TOO INSECURE TO DEAL WITH IT.

Extra emphasis on the word “need” as opposed to want.

These guys need to win by:

Being right.

Arguing/proving their points.

“Knowing” what is best for everyone else and needing to make sure everyone else agrees with their point of view.

Always trying to tell others why he is right about someone else.

Pointing out other people’s faults.

Clinging to people who have what he perceives to be “value”.

Going to painful lengths to avoid failure (and avoiding possible success in the process.

Note that about I did not say to pursue success but to avoid failure.

People who pursue success walk in to the face of failure a hundred times and will still come out fighting to get what they want.

Guys who avoid failure aren’t comfortable with themselves, so they need to win and be right to prove to themselves that they are worthy.

The main causes of these sort of emotional issues are usually the result of people not having:

Self-confidence.

Security.

Self-Esteem.

Emotional independence.

These are the guys that need to tag on to someone else or always need to let everyone else know what “cool” or “good” thing they’re doing even if it’s killing them inside to do it. Again none of these actions or behaviors are logical but emotionally driven.

If we’re insecure it shows up in one way or another no matter how hard we try to hide it because sooner or later your emotional body will get the better of you and will cause your real inner state to shine through.

Think of a time when you decided you were going to approach a woman at school or work or somewhere like that.

Now, recall how you visualized it in your mind.

Think about how you planned out her every detail; what she was going to say, how you were going to respond, where it was going to be, how she was going to act.

Then you actually got there and what happened?

There is a good chance your emotional body took over at this point. If you were inexperienced with having real interactions you probably emotionally locked up, failed to maintain eye contact and didn’t know how to respond to all the unplanned variables which came up in your personal issues.

Unconfident guys are the biggest turn off to women… These are the guys that women dump into the “loser” category.

These are the guys who chase after women and hand themselves over on a silver plate.

Women meet insecure and unconfident men everywhere they go and they hate it.

These are the guys who finally get a date with the girl of the dreams and are so afraid of losing her that they hang off her arm like a puppy dog trying to make her happy and please her while keeping that “I can’t mess this up” mentality in the back of their mind.

the confidence photo

They will also jump out at a woman’s every whim to fulfill her needs.

For example, if a guy knows his date is a vegetarian he will try to please her by saying:

“Honey what should I get to eat? Does this have animal in it?”

It’s good to know that women want you to decide where you are going to go and what you are going to do. Most men are so afraid of losing a woman that they logically think that by giving her all the control and ensuring she makes all the decisions she will like them better.

Treaty of Trust

If you can’t be a man – this means being confident and independent, a woman is going to laugh you off like all the other losers she turns down a hundred times a week.

The second thing we talked about earlier is honesty.

Having a woman’s trust is one of the most valuable, rapport building, connection creating and all that good stuff things you can possibly have in the whole entire universe forever and ever.

I’m not saying you need to be perfect.

In fact, if you try to achieve perfection you are going to end up disappointing yourself and setting yourself up for a lot of unnecessary emotional trauma.

We all make mistakes. We are always learning and growing and we should never be ashamed of that. Women respect a man who can be honest and real.

In fact, if a man comes off as too perfect a woman’s unconscious warning flags may actually pop up and cause her body to feel concerned and question whether or not you’re real.

Remember that creating solid trust between you and her starts with you.

To create good trust you need to first know who you are and what your values and beliefs are including the ones you are not willing to compromise.

This will allow you to know exactly what course of action you want to take should you ever run in to relationship problems or have to make complex decisions.

If you want to have multiple partners tell her this up front.

Don’t wuss out and try to hide two girls from each other.

It is fully possible for her to be attracted to you and come running back to you even if you cheat on her (in some cases) but that doesn’t mean she wants to stay with you; she’s emotionally addicted to you but probably goes home crying at the end of the night.

Basically:

DON’T DO THIS TO ANOTHER LIVING CREATURE

When a woman trusts you it also means her defenses are down around you and she will not try to put on a face with you.

This will allow her to feel like she is being connected with on a level most men have no idea how to even reach her at.

Keep in mind that the truth goes both ways though.

If a woman isn’t being straight forward with you don’t be afraid to call her on it or even go so far as to leave her.

“Yes Dear”

Have you ever met a person who walked through life apologizing left and right and needed to know that everyone around him was 100% accepting of what he did?

honesty quote

The kind of guy who never pushed the envelope or took risks.

Of course you have!

These are the guys who have massive self-esteem and worthiness issues and constantly need to have other people reaffirm that they’re behavior is “acceptable”.

As a result of these emotional burdens, nice guys tend to be characterized by:

Submissiveness.

Apologetic Behavior.

Supplication.

People pleasing.

Following.

Co-dependency.

Self-consciousness.

These men tend to immediately place themselves in the provider frame with a woman which means they try to give everything to a woman (gifts, favors, ect) to compensate for their lack of confidence in their own personality.

honesty photo

What this means is from the moment a man meets a woman he knows where the man considers himself to be relative to society.

She knows if he has money and is going to shower her with gifts, praise and affection in exchange for keeping her body around.

This is the guy who indirectly tells a woman he knows he is not truly confident in himself, he lacks the ability to truly satisfy a woman and most of all:

HE IS NOT A CONFIDENT MAN

Now don’t get me wrong on this one.

Compliments and gifts are fine as long as you’re giving them to a woman because you feel like doing it (women will know the difference between when you’re being real and when you’re being needy) and not because you are wanting to please and appease her; she will know the difference in your reaction.

Women have a virtuosic ability to detect a wimp.

Women can tell when a man feels the need to impress someone… and this need usually comes out when men are placed in the presence of an attractive woman.

If they’re unconfident or insecure the desire to “prove himself” to a woman kicks in.