Submission in the animal kingdom means the act of backing down from those that are more dominant. Confrontations that put animals together inevitably establish a pecking order (see more below) by which the more dominant males become more status-separated.

Being submissive in our terms means being supplicating, obedient, and dependent. Submission in the context of the Alpha Man and the pecking order means that any man who submits to another is forfeiting their Alpha status. (Except those that do so as a clever trick, so that they can retain their Alpha status.) Submission – or appeasement – will become clearly explained as we go through the concepts.

All apes learn the delicate art of appeasement. There are numerous ways to appease an irate Alpha, and all of them are needed. Grooming is a good bet, but the symbolic “presenting” of your back is almost guaranteed to defuse Alpha anger. What you are saying is, “See? I know you’re superior and I’m inferior. Really.” And nine times out of ten it works.

Humans have similar appeasement gestures. Whether considering a formal, 17th century Japanese bow, where every centimeter of bending was duly noted, or a curtsey before a Queen, or a salute to a senior officer, we have our own assortment of appeasement gestures. (Showing your hands, palm up or forward is another method of demonstrating appeasement.) All of them mean, “See? I know you’re superior and I’m inferior. Really.” Is there really a difference between a submissive chimpanzee bending to show his inferior status, and a human bending to show the same thing?

Watch the behavior of men you know, and watch how often they act to appease rather than to express their own desires and needs. Most men express submission and appeasement to women these days, and this is one area that\ needs to be corrected. If I hear one more married man say, “I gotta check with the boss,” I will probably freak out and scream.

Appeasement is sometimes necessary, but not as much as you might think. You win more respect by knowing when to take a stand. Especially with women. If you haven’t done anything wrong, be careful about trying to appease a woman. This is a manipulative tactic that puts you on the defense and will set you up for a bad dynamic.

Women do not want men to bow to them or treat them as authority figures. They occasionally enjoy the “princess” treatment, but that’s not appeasement. That’s a form of nurturing to them. When you put a woman on a pedestal, she’ll never live up to it, and she’ll run from that kind of treatment.