Young girls are often confused as they are often faced with love and crush issues. In this post we are going to take a look at some of the questions posed by these girls and then we will be reading the solutions to their problems.

Question – I’ve fallen in love with my teacher!

love with teacher

This term we have a new French teacher. He’s from Paris and speaks with a really cute accent. I think I may have fallen for him. I spend all day thinking about him, writing poems for him and wishing for the next French lesson. All my friends say it’s just a crush but to me this feels like true love. I’m trying to find out if he has a wife or a girlfriend because I’m 16 next year and old enough to ask him out on a date.

Answer

Your friends are right. What you are experiencing is a crush. Some say we experience crushes to get our minds used to being in love when we’re older. Many people get crushes over authority fi gures like teachers or people in the public eye like celebrities. You need to face the facts in this situation and realise that the whole thing is one-sided; your teacher doesn’t feel the same. You may be turning 16 next year, but he is your teacher so nothing can ever happen. If a teacher did have any sort of relationship with a pupil he would get into very serious trouble. So put the idea of dating this teacher out of your mind and treat your French lessons as a way of getting ahead in a good subject with a teacher you like and respect.

Question – I fancy my best friend’s boyfriend. What should I do?

boyfriend issue

My best friend started seeing a boy who I’ve had a crush on for the last year. The thing is she knew I liked him before they got together. We even talked about it. I didn’t approach him because I was too nervous. It’s so unfair of her to have done this to me. I would never have got with a boy that she liked. Would it be really mean of me to try and take him off her?

Answer

If you think it was bad of her to start things up with a boy who you WEREN’T seeing, then how much worse is it for you to try it on with the boy who she IS seeing? I agree it does sound like your friend could have been a little more sensitive in her choice of boyfriend. That said, you can’t help who you fall for and neither your friend nor this boy were with anyone else at the time. I would try to learn a lesson from this. In future if you like someone, do something about it while you have the chance. But for now, let your friend get on with her relationship. You’ll soon meet someone else and it really isn’t worth losing your best friend over a boy.

Question – Am I too picky and how do I make relationships last?

long term relations

I’ve always been very picky when it comes to boys. I know exactly what I want and most boys just don’t measure up. This means that when I do meet a guy who I actually like, I want things to work out long term because I know how rare he is. My problem is I’ve never been very good at getting close to people. I’m shy about opening up and one of my boyfriends once called me ‘a bit of a cold fish’. I’ve also been accused of being demanding. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with knowing what it is you want in a relationship and making that clear. I’ve just met a new boy who I really like and I’d love to make things work out this time. Can you give me any practical tips on how to make things last long term?

Answer

There’s nothing wrong with being picky when it comes to boys. Knowing your own mind is excellent and take no notice of ridiculous comments about you being ‘cold’. You and the boy who said this were obviously not suited to each other. In regard to the new guy, here are some helpful tips on how to make your relationship last: The best way to get close to someone is to open up to them about your life and to get to know them. This means you need to learn how to listen too! Lose your preconceptions of the ‘ideal boyfriend’. There is no such thing. Just as you have your own individual quirks, so too will your boyfriends. Don’t lose heart the minute something goes wrong. If you are fond of each other you should try to work through the problems and fifind solutions to them. Be truthful but tactful with one another. During disagreements, try to come from ‘I’ perspective. For example, ‘I feel really sad that we have had this misunderstanding. Do you think there is any way round it?’ By coming from the ‘I’ perspective you are not accusing him, and therefore he won’t feel defensive. This can be a more effective way of improving a situation that needs addressing.

Question – I’m always jealous of my friends’ boyfriends…

I’m always jealous of my friends and their boyfriends. My two best friends are really pretty and seem to get lots of attention from boys. Both of them are going out with two of the popular, good-looking boys from school. What’s wrong with me? I’ve only dated one boy this year and things didn’t work out with him. Why can’t I be the one to be happy for a change?

Answer

Console yourself with the knowledge that things are likely to change. Your two friends may be the popular girls right now but this may not be the case in a few years’ time. All three of you may change a great deal, both mentally and physically. Boys and the things that interest them will change, too. I know it’s great to be the centre of attention but ultimately this is only a superficial enjoyment – true happiness comes from meeting someone who makes your heart skip a beat and who you can build a deep and lasting relationship with. In the meantime, don’t worry about what your friends are up to, just relax and start to enjoy yourself!

Question – Boys are so fickle! why do they like you one minute and
someone else the next?

Can you explain why boys are always changing their minds about who they like? I’m 14 and boys usually ditch me for one of my friends or make up some really annoying excuse about why they don’t like me anymore. Is there something wrong with boys in general? Why are they so fickle?

Answer

It’s a fact that girls mature much more quickly than boys. Teenage boys can be still at a stage where they don’t know what they want, when teen girls of the same age can be ready for something a bit more serious. That said, girls can be just as fickle as boys and change their minds about who they like in just the same way! It’s all part of working your way through what it means to be in a relationship. In a few years’ time everyone will start to become more consistent in their behaviour and you’ll probably find that relationships become more long lasting. In the meantime you’re doing the right thing by not taking it to heart. You’re not doing anything wrong. I would focus on your schoolwork and having a good time with friends for now. In time you’ll meet boys who won’t change their minds every 5 minutes!

Question – He’s cheated on me. Should i finish on him?

cheated

I’ve been cheated on by my boyfriend – twice! The first time everyone at school knew before I did. I nearly died of embarrassment. He begged me not to break up with him and promised he’d never do it again. Then a few weeks later I found out from a friend that he’d cheated on me again – this time with a girl from a neighbouring school. I have told him I don’t want to see him again, but he’s been begging me to give him a third chance. Do you think I should or would it be a huge mistake?

Answer

Ultimately the decision to trust him again is yours, but you should ask yourself this question: what kind of future do I have with a boy I can’t trust? Do you want to be watching your back for the entire relationship? Can you bear the possibility of being humiliated by him yet again? If I really liked someone I might be prepared to give them one last chance, but it really would have to depend on the exact circumstances and only if I thought they were totally and absolutely sincere in their promise not to do it again. Only you can decide if this is what you want but take your time with your decision and don’t let him make a fool of you.