A Discussion On Dating And Direct Approach VS Indirect Approach
In general, there are two ways to engage a woman in conversation. They are as follows:
There are really two techniques that I will cover under the “indirect” heading. More on that in a minute. For now, let’s discuss direct approaches.
A direct approach is very powerful. I definitely advocate trying this at least once in your lifetime. I used to do it all the time, as I found the honesty empowering. This technique is very simple, and yet many men find it so challenging that they often never try it. Here is an example of what you might say with a direct approach:
Pardon me, but I noticed you from across the (lounge, café, bookstore etc) and had to risk total embarrassment to meet you. My name is _____”
This is such a powerful approach because you aren’t hitting on her, you merely “noticed” her. Couple that with your willingness to openly admit that it is a “risk” and a potential “embarrassment” for you, commonly helps her drop her defenses, nicely opening the conversation. If you have female friends, run this by them and let them tell you what they think about it. Typically, I find women to be very open and happily surprised that a guy had the ability to engage her in a conversation using something so honest and direct. It ties back into our theme on security. Being direct and honest is a natural trait of secure men. I think you will find, as I did, that the empowerment that comes from simply stating my interest (and not in a weird, creepy way, mind you) is well worth the risk of approach.
If you do decide to practice direct approaches with this phrase, you will need to be prepared to tell her exactly why you noticed her. 99% of the time she will follow your remark with, “So, what did you notice about me?”. A great way to respond to this is with a compliment that reveals to her that you pay attention to MORE than just how “hot” she is. So, compliment her sense of style, her energy/vibe, her presence, her ability to have fun etc. If she did catch your eye, and you did feel the impulse to approach her, then ask yourself – why? Hopefully it has more to do with just her looks, and is something that you can then turn into a nice compliment.
Within the heading of “indirect approaches”, there are really two different techniques to discuss. One is the “indirect opener” and the other is the “environmental/situational opener”. Let’s discuss the indirect opener first.
An indirect opener is where you engage a woman (or a group of women) in conversation by requesting “female input” on an issue or question that is current in your life. When considering what topics to use, the following three are typically the best:
• Pop Culture
These three topics consistently and reliably open the conversation.
Now that we have an idea of what topics work, what is the ideal structure or format to use? Here is an example which illustrates this technique perfectly:
ME: Guys, I need female input on a challenge a friend of mine is currently facing. Imagine you were engaged to a guy, would you want a picture of you and your fiancée in the wedding announcements in the paper?
HER: Yes/No (Doesn’t matter, though if she tells you she is engaged at this point, I suggest you take notice!).
ME: Well, I have a friend who is a known writer and he and his fiancée are to be married in a few months. Being a writer has the perks of celebrity and anonymity, and he is afraid that if the photo appears in the paper his anonymity will be gone. Now, if you were the woman in that case, would you still insist on having the picture in the paper?
HER: Yes/No/I would/I wouldn’t (again, certainly take note of the replies here – and if you feel confident enough – flirt in response to what is said, but the structure or form of this script is not dependant upon a certain answer).
ME: Well, here is the final twist. She doesn’t know this, but he used to work for the very paper that she is insisting the photo appear in. He was fired from there some years ago, and he never told her because he was embarrassed! So, if your fiancée approached you with this dilemma, what would you do? Would you be upset? Would you still insist the photo appear? What gives?
Presto. Conversation begun. The above is an actual script I used to use and have given it away only to those guys who work with me one-on-one. It came from an actual event in my life (I created it on the subway as a way to meet a cute girl). You are more than welcome to use it verbatim, but I encourage you to try to both develop your own script, and (more importantly) to understand the structure of this so that you can create this spontaneously, based on events from your own lives.
So, what IS the structure here and why is it so effective? I really believe there are three reasons why:
• Three “Give & Take’s”
• Subject Matter
• Question, Story, Twist
We Advice You To Read A Post On Social Circle for further training.