Help For Those Who Feel Physically Unattractive
It‟s actually in your best interest to NOT be very physically attractive. You want some kind of physical limitation. You want to be a little overweight, you want to be short, a bit skinny like I am – attractive women hate dating guys who are too good looking.
Also – having some kind of thing about you that‟s not perfect makes the woman work harder to get you. Because if you do this right, she‟s going to be feeling “I should be able to get that guy.” It‟s like a chink in the armor. The right kind of vulnerability can get women COMPLETELY chasing the guy. He‟s not perfect.
I‟ve talked to a lot of guys and most of them DON‟T want supermodels. They want the girl next door. They want cute – somewhat attractive, not perfect supermodels. Why? Because they feel that they can get them. A lot of guys don‟t really think about getting Ferraris – yeah they appreciate that they are beautiful cars, but most guys want the car that‟s just one or two levels above what they have right now.
It‟s the same thing with women. No woman wants some hot guy with a perfect body. He‟s eye candy, but not much more than that.
I‟ve actually looked into countless scientific studies and surveys by relationship psychologists that show women become AROUSED AND TURNED ON by guys with facial scars, as opposed to a perfect looking guy.
This is a bit more of an extreme example but I have a friend who actually has a cleft lip – he was born with it – you know a physical deformity on his lip. So he‟s got this quite obvious scar from the surgery. I was able to help this guy become GREAT with women. And because of how he SEES himself, he actually makes the scar work to his advantage. In fact, the last time I talked to him he had just had a foursome the night before.
Knowing that and seeing these examples of guys with severe challenges, along with the stuff I talked about in the previous question about self confidence will help a guy completely overcome any physical insecurity.
Another PUA On the Inner Game
The first thing I would do is try and pound it in their heads as hard as I can that women are different from us. You‟ve heard it before, women are emotional creatures and physical looks matter much, much less to them than they do for us. I mean, if you take away the physical beauty of strippers and porn stars and Playboy bunnies, they‟re actually very low-quality, low-value women. They have very low self-esteem. But because physical beauty is much more important to us men, we still see them as attractive and high value because we‟re physical creatures.
Well, women are the opposite. They‟re emotional creatures, so I teach guys to forget about their physical attraction and instead focus on maximizing their perceived lifestyle attraction, because what I‟ve found, and this has been scientifically proven and you can point to a gazillion examples of it, women can actually change their attraction towards a man based on his lifestyle attraction. In other words, beautiful women will mate with less attractive men because they‟re trading for lifestyle attraction qualities.
One of the reasons I‟m such a big fan of meeting women through places like MySpace and Facebook is because through your profile, you have the ability to skyrocket your lifestyle attraction and communicate high value social proof and Alpha male characteristics, no matter if you‟re good looking or ugly or whatever.
So I tell my guys “Don‟t be worried about your height, your body type or your looks because using my stuff it only counts for about 25%, of your attraction. That‟s it. The rest is all lifestyle attraction.” Now, I‟m not one of those guys who are going to blow sunshine up their ass and say, “Looks don‟t matter at all.” They do, but what‟s cool is the proportion is not 50/50. It‟s much, much less than that, only about 25% and that‟s a huge advantage to us guys.
Bill Preston PUA On Physical Attractiveness
There is almost no guy in the world who can‟t fix that. We are all blessed with various features which we can‟t fix, but there are many things that we can fix: eating healthy, clearing up your skin, brushing your teeth and having good hygiene, smelling good, wearing clean, nice-fitting clothes that don‟t have to be expensive, good body language and posture. Those are the things you can fix; those are the things that matter.
Your genetic physical attributes don‟t matter nearly as much as all the other things. Everything does matter, but it‟s all the little things added up that make the big difference. I know plenty of guys who are not necessarily physically attractive but they smell nice, they dress nice, they smile, they are well groomed, they stand correctly, they do all the little things and they become one of the most attractive guys in the room.
There are some people who are naturally attractive but they don‟t have the best hygiene, they are not smiling, they are not dressing nice or maybe their clothes are not fitting nice and they just do not look attractive. So, as a guy you truly have a lot of control over physical attractiveness.
Lance Mason Offers Advice On Inner Game
Well, there is a lot of science actually behind this, and scientists have spent millions of taxpayer‟s dollars to actually prove that men are turned on by women‟s looks. But what scientists haven‟t really quite figured out is that women are attracted to a guy‟s emotions and a guy‟s confidence. That‟s what turns women on. It‟s actually a complex process.
But the bottom line for guys who are worried about their looks, the truth is, my coaches and I have done workshops with guys who have Tourette‟s syndrome, guys who are in wheelchairs, guys who are blind – you can bet we‟ve heard from a lot of guys who are overweight, who are balding, who are short, who are just ugly or whatever. And the truth is these guys are all kicking ass. We‟ve got pictures up on our website of all these guys kicking ass in bars all around the world, so the thing is you just have to accept is that it really is just an excuse when you get down to it. There are a lot of short guys with amazing women and you have bald guys with amazing women, and there are a lot of ugly, just plain ugly guys, with amazing women.
Because even guys who really are physically attractive, they still have the same problem which is that we all feel at some level insecure when we start approaching and hitting on women. Let‟s say you are watching a guy who is 4‟7”. He‟s bald, he‟s got acne, and he goes up to the hottest group of women in that bar. He gets them laughing, he‟s interacting and they‟re having fun: “Wow! It‟s unbelievable. Look at that guy. That guy has confidence.” And confidence is the trait that women really look for.