How And Why Women Talk With Their Friends And Men
Women talk at great length with their female friends.
And if they’re in a relationship, they’ll also talk at great length with their mates.
However, these chats won’t always be about the same topics. Your woman will discuss her love live in complete detail with her female friends, but she’ll definitely not discuss parts of it with you.
For example, if she has a crush on the bag boy down at the corner grocery or if she’s having an affair with a co-worker, she certainly won’t tell you about it. That wouldn’t be in her best interests.
And if she’s beginning to tire of you but hasn’t yet found a suitable replacement, she won’t tell you about that either (although her female friends will be up-todate on this matter). Again, that wouldn’t be in her best interests.
That’s because if you figure out that she’s looking for someone else, you’ll start looking too. You might find a replacement first and dump her (bruising her ego in the process) instead of vice versa. And as you know from the business world, it feels a lot better to have quit a job than to have been fired from it.
Since women look at relationships in that same “job” light, this is a factor you ought to consider.
So what do women talk to their mate about from time to time? They usually discuss one of two rather broad topics.
The first is “What’s going on in their lives” (outside the home, that is). That description will of course describe major portions of her conversations with her female friends, but she’ll also broach these subjects with you.
Why? Because she wants you (as her soul mate) to understand what she’s been going through. She wants you to “share” in what she’s been feeling about some aspects of her life that you wouldn’t otherwise know about (such as what’s going on at the office).
If your wife comes home, slumps down in the couch and says wearily, “You won’t believe the day I just had!” then you’re about to be treated to one of these “What’s going on in her life” conversations.
These are the easy conversations, however. Just listen attentively and don’t interrupt. Once she gets it all out of her system, she’ll feel closer to you and will be a lot more pleasant to be around. (And more amenable to snuggling too.)
It’s women’s other favorite topic that causes you far more trouble:
“What’s Wrong With You!”
These Accusatory Conversations are much less pleasant.
Once in long-term relationships (and especially after marrying), women work diligently to change their men. That’s a normal pattern, like it or not.
Since there aren’t enough Top 1% men to go around, most women end up having to settle for less. And then, after a respectable interval, they set about trying to improve upon the product.
You probably did something similar as a young man when you bought your first car. Since you couldn’t afford a really great car, you settled for the best one you could afford instead.
Then you set out to “customize” it a bit. Maybe you bought some new wheels and did a snappy paint job and installed some new seat covers too? And perhaps you “souped up” the engine a little bit?
You did all of this to get a car with a bit more “pizzazz” than you could otherwise afford. All it took was a bit of money and some time and elbow grease on your part.
Women do the same to their mates by nagging and criticizing, often by means of Accusatory Conversations.
This means that if you’re in a relationship, in time you’ll start hearing every so often about What’s Wrong With You. That is, she’ll express her dissatisfaction about you and she’ll attempt to nag you into becoming something and someone you’re not.
Of course, she’ll phrase your supposed shortcomings as an indisputable fact and not merely her own opinion. After all, an “opinion” carries much less weight than a “fact.” So she’ll word it in whatever way will put her in the best light and you in the worst light. She’ll make a blanket black-and-white statement.
Here’s an example of such an Accusatory Statement: “You are so inconsiderate!”
Not surprisingly, that type of remark puts most men on the defensive right from the beginning. And even if you have a long emotional fuse, it can be hard to take this sort of onslaught after a while. Sooner or later, most men start to argue back and get flustered. Both you and she will shortly get very angry at one another.
These arguments can get rather nasty and they tend to follow a certain progression.
First, she lambastes you for some heinous shortcoming (the “black” part of her black-and-white framework). Then you’ll respond in two ways.
First, you’ll become defensive. You’ll try to “prove” that you’re not as bad as she makes you out to be. You’ll remind her of some of the nice things you’ve done that she’s not crediting you for (in the hope of “proving” that you’re not the Devil incarnate).
In other words, you’re not nearly as “black” as she’s trying to portray.
But then you’ll take it a step further: You’ll point out that she’s no angel either. You’ll drag out all the crappy things she’s ever done to you as proof that she’s just as bad (and maybe even worse).
In other words, not only are you not as “black” as she’s trying to portray, she’s also a lot less “white” than she’s trying to portray.
Of course, things descend in a downward spiral from there.
She’ll respond with added “evidence” of your faults and also offer rationalizations that “excuse” the “sins” you’ve pinned on her. You’ll do the same in reverse. And so on.
Once the argument is finally over, nothing’s been solved. She’ll remember every “mean” thing you said to her and will add it to her running tab of What’s Wrong With You, thus ensuring that each subsequent fight will be that much more bitter.
And you’ll be more bitter afterwards, as well. Why?
Because in the end, it was always you who backed down. You had to, because she controlled the sexual access in your relationship. You apologized despite having done nothing wrong, simply because the prospect of sleeping on the couch for the next month was unappetizing.
She had you by the gonads and she squeezed them.