How To Approach A Group Of Girls In A Club

Now experts are going to teach you about how to approach a group or women in a club and what to say to open the conversation and possibly get a girlfriend.

Christian Hudson Teaching How To Approach A Group Of Girls In A Club

When you approach a woman in a bar or club environment, the first thing you’ve got to remind yourself is that people are out to be social, so you’ve got that going for you, which is nice. The second thing you’ve got to remember is that it’s a lot easier to start a conversation if the girl had already signaled that she is interested in talking to you. So before I even think about what my opener might be, I’m looking around for people who are open to be spoken to. There’s always that one pick-up guy who says, “I’ve got to be able to open any woman anytime, anywhere,” and he’s almost a masochist who’s trying to get off to the hardest conversation and open it up, and that’s not how we see things. We want to make it easy on ourselves.

We’ll position ourselves in places that will get eye contact from people. We’ll be having fun when we’re talking to each other, so that people are noticing us and we’re paying attention to the people who are open. And then once we see somebody is open, it can simply be a matter of pulling them into the conversation that you’re having.

I’ll give you a really good example, and again, this is not a go-to, but this is an example of how we think about things. Just the other week, I was out in a bar here in New York and it was Fleet Week, so there are all these sailors. And you’ve got to love the military, but these guys were clearly annoying some women they were talking to and the women were kind of looking around, scanning the room. And so my friend and I, we positioned ourselves nearby them, and I don’t know what happened. I got a text from my buddy Patrick and he wrote something in the text message like, “You complete me.” And we know it’s a joke. It was kind of like an inside funny thing, right? And it was from the movie „Jerry McGuire”.

So I’m near these girls and I try to catch a little bit of eye contact. I walk over to one and say, “Hey, excuse me. What’s that line from Jerry McGuire? It starts with “you complete me” and then what did she say in response?” She says, “You had me at hello.” I said, “Yeah, of course. Right. Right. Perfect. Thank you.”

And I go back to texting that, and writing that text to Patrick, and I continue to stay nearby her. I was not far away, and she actually came back and reengaged me. And I can’t remember what we start talking about. But if you see my strategy there, which is again positioning nearby, getting some eye contact, initiating with something that was in my life situation. A guy is welcome to use what I just said, but that’s an example of how I might come up with something and then allow the conversation to naturally flow from there.

David Wygant Teaching The Techniques That Can Help You Approach Women In A Club

I can’t stand those environments because they’re all so fake. Everybody is going out for the bigger and better deal mentality. It’s just ridiculous. It’s like a bunch of Golden Retrievers running around trying to find the person who is going to throw the ball the best for them. So what I do is I make fun of those environments because those environments don’t work. I owned a bar in New York City for a long time. Do you know that people came in week in and week out looking for love and never found it? They only spent money and got drunk, every single one of them. So I’ll see a woman standing there ferociously texting somebody and I’ll walk over and say, “Will you stop already? I’m here. We can finally talk. Stop texting me.” I’ll make fun of everything in a bar. When a woman is drinking some ridiculous drink with a flower on it, I’ll say, “What? Are you kidding? What are you drinking? What is that? Is that art or is that booze?”

If a woman has a bunch of guys around her and you watch her and she’s blowing off guy after guy, I’ll walk over and just say, “All right, what does it take to get your attention because all you’re doing it seems is conducting a bad series of job interviews. I’m watching these guys left and right leave. You’re good.” I’ll say: “So tell me, what is it that really gets your attention in here?” And boom! She’s going to tell you everything about men and what she wants and this and that. I make fun of what is a stupid situation to begin with because everybody has spent so much time building up that Friday night, “Oh, my God. We’re all going to go to Joe’s Bar on Friday night. It’s going to be great.”

All you would think about is that from Monday forward because you think it’s going to rescue you from your shit-ass social life that you’ve been having all week. When in reality I’ve been out all week meeting women all day long everywhere I go and on a Friday night, I’m home hanging out with a woman, watching a movie, enjoying myself and relaxing when everybody is going around like a chicken without a head at a bar.

Dean Cortez Teaching How to Approach Women In A Club Or Bar

When approaching girls in a bar or a club, the operative word to remember is fun. If you can get these girls to have more fun talking to you than they were having a few minutes ago, you are golden.

If it’s a group of girls, I’ll walk over to them and I’ll say, “You know, this group right here, you guys, this is where the party is at tonight. I can tell. I’m just curious, which one of you guys is the ringleader?” Because every cool group of girls has the ringleader and she’s the one who is like the bad girl and the other girls may not want to go out tonight, but the ringleader always pulls them in and makes them go out and party. And I’ll point to one of the girls and say, “It’s you, isn’t it? You’re the ringleader? Am I right?” Now, what I do here is I actually point to the one girl in the group that is obviously not the ringleader. It’s like the quiet girl sitting on the end, and so when I say this, all of her friends start laughing.

And now, we’re engaged in this whole conversation and we’re raising the energy level. And what I’m doing is I’m labeling this group of girls as the fun crew and now they don’t want to seem lame. They don’t want to do anything to sort of discourage my opinion of them. They want to be the fun group.

Now, when I approach a group, there is always going to be one girl in that group that I have my eye on, my target for the evening, but I will never make it obvious. I will always spread my attention around equally or actually ignore the girl that I like until later on. Once the group has totally accepted me and I’m sitting with them having a drink, having a great time, that’s when I will start subtly making my move and shifting my attention towards the girl that I want to bang that night.

DJ Fuji Shares His Thoughts On Approaching Women In Clubs

If I’m approaching in a night club in a night time setting, again my default opener is going to be what I’m use the majority of the time, some variation on, “Hey, what’s up?” It’s not what you say, but how you say it, your body language, your eye contact and everything else.

With larger groups, it’s exactly the same, but keeping in mind, you’re going to have to manage the group. Now, what you say after that is probably going to be a lot more important than what you say to open it, because after that, I’m usually going to role play. Or I’m going to throw some humor in there. I might make an observation. I might say that one girl looks like she’s the bodyguard of the group, or she’s the bad girl, or whatever. It’s some observation. It could be that I named them all after characters from Sex and the City. But the point being that I’m engaging the entire group, I’m going to win over the entire group, so that I can hold court and manage.

John Alanis Says He Is Not A Club Guy

I’m not a club guy, but I do like high-end bars and restaurants and stuff like that, and as you get older and balder, you’ll get to that, too. But usually what I’ll do is if I see a woman with a group of friends I’ll make eye contact and smile. If she smiles back or something like that, then that’s very good.

But if it’s a loud environment where I can’t hear or she can’t hear, I’ll just lightly tap with the back of my hand on her shoulder or something, and I’ll whisper something into her ear. Usually, it’s some kind of sarcastic comment or something like that, about something goofy that just happened or whatever, and then she’ll laugh and then we’re into the conversation. So that’s pretty much what I’ll do. But that is not my forte. If I happen to be in an environment where it’s louder than usual, that’s pretty much what I’ll do. You don’t grab a woman, but just very lightly touch her with the back of your hand on her shoulder or something like that, so it’s a very innocuous tap. And then you follow up with a comment that’s going to get her to laugh – then you’re into it.