Today you will learn how to deal with rejection and stay confident. Many pickup and dating experts will be offering their valuable opinion and suggestions on the subject. Let’s get started.

Adam Lyons On How To Avoid And Deal With Rejection

I like to look for the friendliest girl first. I like to observe a group for a minute or two before actually getting in and starting to talk to them. I look for the girl who looks really, really friendly, and I almost always start the conversation with her. So rather than going along the traditional route of opening the ugly girl, I go for the friendliest. And I find that almost always gets me into the group very, very easily.

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On the other hand, if I have messed that up and I haven’t managed to do it correctly, then I almost let her blow me off and completely ignore me. Then I’ll just start talking to somebody else in the group. What tends to happen is if you can actually hook that one person then you work your way back into the group. It’s a lot harder to get in that way, but it’s a very simple method that somebody could take away from this and use very easily.

Alex Coulson Talks About Dealing With Rejection

OK, sure, that’s going to happen. There might be some initial awkwardness. It’s going to happen no matter how cool your conversation started. So what you really want to do is you want to keep on going. You can break through their initial awkwardness by making jokes and continue talking. Whatever you do, do not make the mistake of bringing attention to the awkwardness.

So let’s say, for example, girls are ignoring you and just rolling their eyes and looking at the watch or pretending to text message someone. They are looking to go, and you say, “You’re being rude, aren’t you? Why is your friend so rude?” I mean, that’s not going to help you at all. That will just drive them away. I’ve been in some situations that look like that. They’re in dire straits, like serious situations where they just look so pissed off. They’re fuming and they’re just looking at each other thinking, “You know, let’s just walk out of here. Let’s just get out of here. Let’s go. This guy is getting on my nerves.” And you can turn it around by making jokes. You can turn it around by continuing to talk, just breaking through. What you don’t want to do is if the girls are initially really defensive and unresponsive, don’t waste 20 minutes talking to them.

Because if you’ve got a feeling 5 minutes in that they’re not going to turn around, then just save your time, save your mental energy, and focus it somewhere else. Because you might start talking to a girl and she’s really unresponsive, and you wasted 20 minutes talking to her, but if you look up, there might be a girl sitting in a lounge like 2 feet away who actually wants to talk to you, and you might get success with her.

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Aim for 5 minutes, but if she’s not turning around, stop wasting your time, and just move on. Just save yourself mental energy. It also ends up pulling you down, as well. You’ll start feeling bad. You start feeling not man enough. “I’m starting to feel pretty depressed.” Yeah, you don’t want to be in that state. You want to have fun, and that’s really the aim for the night.

Bobby Rio Shares His Method For Dealing With Rejection

If I sense that I’m not well-received, if a girl is just blatantly being rude, I’ll tend to say, “OK” and just turn around. But if it’s not a matter of her being rude, if it’s a just matter of her not seeming that interested, what I’ll do is I’ll throw a lot of bait out there and see if something sticks. The thing is, you never know what a girl or group was previously talking about, or what they like talking about. So the more stuff you throw out there, the better chance you have of grabbing on to something that interests them or gets their attention.

For instance, if I get no response I might say something like, “Damn, I feel like I’m back in Argentina with the cold reaction I’m getting from these girls. You girls are like stonewalls.” And right there what I did is I threw out, “Hey, you know I mentioned that the girls reminded me of girls from Argentina who are notoriously known as being cold.” And now, they might say, “Oh, have you been to Argentina?” Or you know I’m throwing out the travel aspect that they may like to talk about.

I’m also making an observation about them saying that they’re like stonewalls. They may go on and defend themselves and that might give them the chance to say, “Hey, no, no, I’m sorry. We were just actually in the middle of a conversation.” And by throwing a little bait out there, you have a better chance of finding something that sticks.

Brad Jackson Shares His Method For Dealing With Rejection

It depends on HOW I’m not received. I’d rather be shot down hard than gently rejected because at least I can move on. Of course, if at first you can’t impress, you must offend. Just kidding. That only happens when I’ve had too much red bull and vodka. Actually, I don’t mind getting silly if I get blown out or if the girls don’t give me the time of day.

At that point I have nothing to lose and I do whatever comes to mind. Sometimes I move on. Other times I switch the girl or girls to become my friends and I tell them that since I’m not the man for the job that I’ll find them all the right man and start asking them what they’re looking for tonight. I’ll befriend them.

I don’t know why this works so well, but I’ve taken many girls home or gotten numbers by doing exactly this.

Brent Smith Offers His Advice For Dealing With Rejection

There are two things I do. I either wait for a moment – because sometimes there is a pause and sometimes people have been approached all night, and they’re like, “Oh, God, not another person.”

Now, I’m hoping that my energy is great and they just get it, and they receive me well. But let’s say they don’t. I pause for a minute, and I say maybe one more thing: “So where are you guys from?” I try one more time, that’s it. If they still are like that, I just either turn and go or I’ll say, “OK, well, listen, it was great meeting you.” And I roll to the bar or meet some other people. So I have completely moved on, and in that moment, I don’t take it personally. That’s the really important thing: I just understand that I don’t know what’s going on in their group or their heads. I mean, I think I do, but there are always these random situations and so I just move on.

the art of dealing with rejection

And I think that the moving on is the power. So I don’t stay after that. I don’t stay and try to continue talking to the girls and insert myself in the group. There is more power in moving on and letting them see you having fun with other people. I’ve had situations where they have then come over and said: “Hey, what’s up?” And what I find out is that it wasn’t negative energy at all, it’s just that some girl got dumped by her boyfriend and they were all talking about it, and it had nothing to do with me.

Carlos Xuma’s Method For Dealing With Rejection

I’d cry. No. Actually, it’s kind of a half-humorous response there. I’ve had situations where I felt like that, where it hit me so hard I couldn’t handle it. But in my head now what I do is rehearse over and over again the reality. Again, it goes back to rational and cognitive control. It’s easy to take control of your emotions if you can recognize them for what they are. So in my head I have this little mantra where I realize it’s their problem, it’s not me. There’s nothing wrong with me. There’s no way a person can figure out who I am just from me walking up and saying hello, right? There’s no way they can really make a qualitative judgment about me. So it’s got to be their problem.

turning rejection around

And maybe they have social issues if they can’t open up, but I don’t use that against them in a vindictive way like, “Fine, you guys are jerks,” and walk away. No, what I’ll do is I’ll persist a little bit. And I go in with the assumption that I’m the OK dude and it’s my job to help these people come out of their shell a little bit. And maybe they just need to see that I am a cool dude. I’m not going to be an energy drain. I’ll be fun. When they see that they will typically go along, and they’ll open up to you and lower some of those defensive shields. It just takes a little bit of persistence. And again, sometimes it’s just a test, a social test, to see how grounded you are in your own comfortable self-image.