Are you having trouble getting out of the starting gate? Perhaps you are feeling a bit lethargic. What you need is one more little shove to break up.

It’s time to collect the evidence, call in a verdict, and make a plan for action. After you have accomplished this enormous feat, the remainder of the article will provide the insight and tools required to get you to the finish line.

Why Some People Won’t Leave

Here is what others have to say. Unfortunately, not one answer is a legitimate excuse for staying in a relationship. You can be sure that these men and women are merely prolonging the agony, wasting time, and preventing advancement to a brighter future.

They are afraid they won’t find anyone else.

They are dependent upon the relationship for an identity.

They are dependent upon the relationship for an identity.

They are financially insecure.

They are blind with love.

They are users and like the comforts of home and convenient sex.

What’s holding you back? Examine your own motives and record them honestly. Ask yourself if they resemble the excuses above.

Guy breaking up

This is a four-part lesson plan designed to provide additional insights and information that should make your decision conclusive and absolute. It brings together everything we have been discussing in the previous articles, gives you one more opportunity to test his or her love, evaluate your love interest’s character, and state your own case.

Loves Me, Loves Me Not

Don’t pick one daisy petal at a time reciting the verse you learned in childhood. There is a better way to use this flower to forecast love. Pluck a petal for each of the following loving actions your beau displays toward you. If all of your petals are plucked, there is no question you are loved. What you must decide is if you can love this person back. If the daisy looks fresh and untouched, however, sorry, but there are no signs of true love.

Loves me, loves me not is only the first test of his or her love. Try the next one to see if it adds up to love.

How to Add and Subtract

Love must be plentiful in a relationship that is enduring and satisfying. It is not, however, the only ingredient. Character is a close second. Use the tables below to put the stamp of approval on your breakup. Circle words in each table that seem to describe your Ms. or Mr. Caution.

Practice Using Forethought.

Engage your logical mind here. Set it down on paper so you can refer back to see why your present relationship is not a good one.

List five reasons why this is not a good relationship for you.

If you failed the daisy test, you scored less than 10 points on lesson two, and you don’t have a good relationship, why are you still hanging around?

Combine Intuition and Intellect

What you need to do is quietly tell yourself why your intuition and intellect are screaming to call it quits.

List five reasons why you should leave. The five answers above won’t fit here.

These four exercises were designed to get you thinking and acting. Pay close attention to what the results indicate. It is spelled out in front of you. You don’t want to get stuck in the mud, afraid to initiate that necessary breakup.

You Can’t Afford to Get Stuck in the Mud

Donny and Donna had been stuck in the mud for four years when I first interviewed them. I love her, but I’m not in love with her, Donny admitted. She isn’t my ideal of a sexual woman. Getting into the mood to have sex is slow. I want that passion to be there for us.

Consequently, Donny told Donna he could not commit to a marriage relationship although that’s what she wanted to be a wife and mom. Still, she agreed to remain in their exclusive relationship and was patient until she discovered Donny was close to an affair with another woman. Then she insisted they go to a therapist for help.

The crux of the matter is you can’t be talked into falling in love. You know from last article, The Probabilities for Breaking Up, that’s not how it works.

After more than a year of weekly visits to a therapist’s office, Donny and Donna were still at the same place in their relationship, although they understood their personal emotions better. Even if Donny never wanted to marry or have children, Donna admitted, It is hard to put a time limit on it. I don’t know if I will be able to walk away from him.

had enough

She hasn’t. Six years later Donna and Donny are living together, but there is no ring and no kids.

Quit Making Unacceptable Excuses

Quit making excuses for a poor relationship and his or her lack of commitment. They’ve all been heard before and are empty phrases composed of misguided judgment and wishful thinking. If you are spouting one of them, stop!

Refrain from repeating any of the following until you are firmly convinced your assessment of this stalled relationship is justified.

He is going through a bad time.

When he gets over feeling guilty, he’ll leave his wife.

She loves me so much. She just doesn’t know it.

He said we’ll get married. He just doesn’t know when.

I’ll never find anyone better.

She hasn’t healed from her other relationship.

He doesn’t want to make a mistake. We’re getting close. Maybe he needs another month or two.

I know I can make it work. I just have to try harder.

He’s such a sweet guy. He’ll change.

If she loses weight, then maybe she’ll turn me on.

Looking for excuses? Don’t. Get ready and break up.

enough is enough (relations)

Putting Your Plan into Black and White

The object of your plan should be to make breaking up easier for you, and if your previous love interest deserves it, kinder for him or her.

1. Repeat after me the Breakup Pledge:

I will be better off.

My courage will be rewarded.

I have made a thoughtful decision.

I won’t be swayed.

I will stay on course.

2. Do the following: Select one person as confidante and supporter.

3. Use your artistic abilities. Make a sign with the Breakup Pledge on it and hang it up. Don’t take it down until you have reached your goal.

4. Make a daily planner. Find a date that is good for you to break up. Begin your preparation in advance. Plan events to divert your attention after the breakup. Work hard at getting into the right frame of mind.