Today you will be learning even more techniques to improve your conversation skills so that you can be a great talker and do not get stuck in boring small talk. Let’s get started.

Vin DiCarlo Says It Is Ok To Be Boring

It’s OK to be boring and it’s OK to have small talk.

The real culprit is the FEAR of being boring: the idea that a guy is scared of a woman judging him. If he’s too focused on what she thinks of him, then he’s doesn’t have the right mindset to be attractive yet.

One thing that can be really attractive is if you’re comfortable despite silence. Many women actually use this to gauge if there’s long term potential or not.

And the reason why is because an interaction is never just conversation. There are many different dimensions to the interaction and conversation is just one of many.

In reality there’s dozens of little conversations happening between you and the woman: There’s a conversation happening with your body language; how much you’re turned toward her vs. turned away from her.

There’s the sexual tension that you’re creating, and constantly increasing. There’s your facial expressions, and using them to AMPLIFY the message you’re sending to her with your words. It’s like multimedia. The more elements you’re using and the more senses you’re engaging, the more immersed the person becomes in the experience.

how to avoid boring conversations and small talk

There’s the meaning behind the words you’re saying to her, as well. Most women are paying attention to multiple levels so they are listening to the words BETWEEN the words that come out of your mouth. So they will be thinking to themselves “Why is he telling me this? Is it because he’s insecure? Is it because he doesn’t have other women? Is it because he believes he’s not worthy of being with me? Does this mean he can’t have a functional relationship?”

A lot of keeping her interest has to do with knowing what “type” of woman she is and knowing how to profile her quickly. I’ll talk about this in the next question about keeping her interest.

Action Jackson Talks About Chemistry With The Girl

If there is no chemistry and she’s boring and things aren’t flowing, I’d say “Nice to meet you” and leave. That goes against what the pickup artist community will tell you – to keep plowing forward or go back to step 3 or whatever. One of the biggest critiques about the pickup artist community is it’s all about getting the girl no matter what, and if you don’t get the girl, for some reason it means you’ve failed or got blown out or rejected. It took me seven years to say “Screw that.”

So when you approach a girl, your focus should never be to get the girl. Your focus should be to screen her to see if she’s cool in order to determine if you want to exchange numbers and talk to her again. You’ve got in the mentality that you’re the prize to be won. You’re approaching the girl to decide whether she deserves a chance to be part of your awesome life.

Bill Preston’s Advice On ‘ How To Avoid Small And Boring Talk’

Don’t ask her what she does for living. Don’t talk about things that are happening right there unless you are talking about other people. It’s always great to role play and figure out what other people are doing. It can happen in the beginning, it can happen in the middle, it can happen anytime during the conversation. When you see something that catches your eye: say you see a guy and a girl kind of flirting and one has a wedding ring and one doesn’t, point to them and ask “How do you think they know each other?” Or “Do you think that is a date?” Become her partner in crime. You guys are watching other people and forming your own opinions about what’s happening. If you actually watch people at the bar, the lounge or even a restaurant, there are a lot of really interesting dynamics happening. If you can pull her into your world of observing that, it’s really going to bring in a ton of rapport between you guys and you are never going to have boring small talk whatsoever.

Lance Mason Talks About The Banter And Having Great Conversations With Women

I was just talking about banter and how I love it, but the first key is not to do it for too long. If you’re talking to a group, you can maybe do it for a minute or two. But if you’re talking to a woman one on one, you don’t want to banter for more than like 30 seconds or so because once she gets that you’re a funny guy, she wants to know what’s next and if you just keep flirting with her, she basically figures out, “Oh well, I guess we’re just flirting.” So you want to stop the flirting pretty early on and what you want to do is you want to make the conversation a real conversation about things you’re passionate about.

No more small talk (Advice For Men)

And so what I recommend is that guys sit down, take a little bit of time and find something you’re really passionate about right now. Something that makes them light up to talk about and gets them really excited. So for me I’m really excited about kite boarding right now. Whenever anybody mentions kite boarding, I could be asleep or drunk or tired and if somebody mentions that, I get all excited and I get passionate and my whole physiology changes. So guys should have something they’re passionate about and they should start to talk about it just for a second and let the women talk about something that she is excited about.

And the other thing guys should do and this is even more important is find something you find very profound; something that really gets you introspective because you’re going to want to use that later on to get you in that more profound mode. So what we’re doing is we’re basically leading by example. If you want to have an interesting passionate conversation, you got to start with something that makes you passionate and then let her come in and fill in what she’s passionate about, because if she’s interested in you she’s going to follow you.

Joseph Matthews Teaches How To Ask Questions To Keep The Conversation Going

Ask interesting questions. Everyone asks “What do you do?” and “Where are you from?”

Take those boring questions and put an interesting twist on them. I’ll ask “If you could do anything in the world, anything at all and it doesn’t matter how much you got paid or time and space and gravity weren’t an issue, what would you want to do? What is your ideal, dream occupation?” So I’m not asking her what does she does, I’m asking her what she wants to do.

Nobody likes to talk about what they’re doing. They like to talk about what they want to do and so when you start asking more interesting questions, you start getting more interesting conversations out of it.

avoiding boring conversations

And eventually, once you’ve created that rapport, then you can start doing the boring questions, but on the initial meeting, you always want to do those little twists that make them more interesting than they normally would be.

Drew Canole Is Against Having Normal Or Boring Talk With Women

never encourage lame and boring small talk; I never ask “Where are you from? Do you have any brothers and sisters?” That lame ass stuff that every girl has heard over and over again. I like to focus on funny things to say, funny words to use, funny topics, funny people who are in the news. I like making the conversation memorable and never give her any information whatsoever about me. I want to be as mysterious as possible. At the end of the night, they should be like, “Wow, I talked about myself a lot, I feel this amazing connection with this guy for some reason and I know nothing about him.”

You don’t have to be a nice guy. It’s joking around with them, it’s asking questions and acting like you could care less, not in jerk way, but, in a funny way. Like your life is so busy and you have so much going on that she is privileged to be a part of it.

Jordan Harbinger Teaches Pickup Artists (PUAs) How To Talk To Women

The so-called interview pickup of “Where you from? What do you do?” Those are default questions, and don’t kick yourself if you find yourself, when you first go out asking those questions. To keep it going from there you guys are going to have to go out and be social with everybody and practice, and then you’ll start to realize that you can actually make statements and people will start to relate to you.

how to have interesting and amazing conversations

So instead of saying, “So where are you guys from, where do you guys work?” You can actually say, “This place is awesome, especially tonight because way more people are dancing than usual and I love that energy.” And the girls will relate to that because they’re there to have a good time. If they’re interested in engaging with you that’s what’s going to happen. If they’re not, then asking them questions is certainly not going to turn that around.

Julian Foxx Talks About Physical And Verbal Escalation

Touch her ass. Grab her butt. Touch her. Use facial expressions; turn the conversation to sex. If you are actively using a sexual energy with her and actively turning the conversation towards sex, it’s never going to turn to boring small talk. For me it’s one of the easiest problems to solve. It’s one of the most common problems that I hear about, but it’s just a simple fix. You just have to have the courage and the trust that she is going to react OK to it.

The courage to drive the conversation to a sexual place does not mean you are the perceived initiator of the sexual stuff. What I like to do is a technique we used to call “framing blame.” I am actively looking for anything that she says or does that I can then reframe and re-spin into sexual light and then blame it on her. So she touches my legs and I can easily say “Wait, honey are you trying to turn me on or what are you doing, stop it, stop it.” So, I am framing it in a sexual light and then blaming it on her. It accomplishes the goal of driving the interaction into the sex zone which will completely eradicate any chance of it turning into boring small talk.