Ask yourself: Are you doing anything (or things) that may be preventing women from approaching you? There could be explicit reasons (or even implicit ones) as to why you might not be alluring to the women whom you want to meet.

For example, are you the type of man ouproaho attracts “The Hoverer?” You know: the woman you see at the bar or restaurant you’re at with your friends who stands behind you, waiting to find the perfect moment for you to turn around and talk to her?

Guess what? You’re not giving her any signals that tell her to smile at you and to convey her approach signals. If you see a woman doing this the next time you’re out with friends, be sure to position yourself so you’re more approachable. Not only that–flirting with this woman will be great practice. Other women are watching what is going on, and being open and friendly will convey confidence and get other women to approach you. This is what I mean by sending out the right approach signals.

make women approach you

Learning how to get women to approach you is a skill that takes time, but the best way to understand this is to watch others in the bar. Who would you rather approach the women who are smiling and having fun or the ones who are sitting back and doing nothing. You need to be the man who is easy for women to approach. It works both ways.

If you find yourself hesitant about approaching anyone, you’ll usually find that you may have a lot of nervous energy inside that others are picking up on. In fact a great way to find out about yourself involves your friends. The next time your friends and you go out, ask them to critique you in a social situation.

Things that they should be looking for are:

Do you smile a lot?

Are you dressed appropriately for the occasion?

Could you have dressed differently to enhance your physical traits?

What’s your body language?

Do your unique traits stand out?

You might want to consider having your friends take photos of you while you’re out with them, preferably without you knowing or being aware of when they take them. You need to be in your “natural” state.

This is great to do at a party, because you’ll see for yourself how your body language is — the vibe you radiate to others. It doesn’t have to be like homework; make it a fun night, and take photos of each other!

Then at the end of the night or the next day, take note of what you look like in the photos. Do you look like you’re having fun? Do you have good body language? How do you look compared to the others in the photo? Remember, we’re just trying to become more aware of how we present ourselves to the world, so we can then change the parts we don’t like.

Soon, you’ll see how the signals that you exude (through eye contact, positioning yourself, and body language) tell the good-looking woman you want to be approached.

What you don’t want to be is like most men who spend their time chasing women. They’re not attracting them, they’re chasing them. They have what I like to call the “wolfpack” mentality. (And just so you know, I was using this phrase well before “The Hangover” came out.

Here’s what guys with the wolfpack mentality will do. They’ll go out on a Friday night looking like they haven’t eaten in weeks, and they’ll spend the entire night going from bar to bar chasing women. The will always waiting for the most opportune moment, like a wolf ready to pounce, to go over and talk to her. They spend the night on the hunt, obsessed with meeting women.

And they’re not really having fun. You know how it is when you go out with a group like this. It’s always like, “Hey man, check her out, she’s smoking hot,” and then no one will do anything about it. Five minutes later, someone in the pack will bark out, “This place is lame, let’s go to that other bar that always has all the hot women…” And the cycle will repeat itself.

You’ve been there, and you’ve done it. It’s time to stop! Because do you know what this actually does? This wolf-pack mentality actually repels women. Women are all about energy; women can see and feel men doing this.

Here’s a good example. When a woman likes a man, she’ll give a guy a casual look, maybe smile a little bit, and that’s about it. Those are her cues to the guy that she’s interested in finding out more. But when a man who’s part of a wolf-pack is attracted to a woman, he’ll look at her 75 times. At least. And the problem is, when she sees a man looking at her 75 times, she’ll wonder, “Why is this guy looking at me so much, and why is he not approaching me? What’s wrong with him?” By the time he’s given her the creepy wolf stare for the 75th time, she can’t wait to get her and her girlfriends out of there.

And when the guy finally does work up the courage to break from the pack and approach her after creepy glance number 75, she’s already repulsed by him, and he’s left wondering what exactly he did wrong to have yet another woman reject him.

Here’s what I want YOU to do differently

Women are attracted to men who are having fun. Whenever I go out, I’m always having fun. I don’t care if it’s going to the market, going to grab a cup of coffee, or going to the dry cleaners – I’m going to chat people up. I’m going to make it an experience. I’m chatting up people who work there, people standing in line, and people outside. I don’t even drink coffee, but I’m going there to create an experience. I’ll talk to anyone – it doesn’t matter if they’re men, women, children, dogs, cats, reptiles; it doesn’t make a difference. Everywhere I go, I’m creating an experience and making it fun.

And I want you to start to do the same. Because if you start making everything you do a fun experience – whether it’s picking out dinner, waiting in line at the movies and deciding what you want to see, or just running errands – I guarantee you’ll start attracting women. In bunches. They’ll be intrigued by you, because you’re doing the opposite of what every guy has always done in the past.

Make it a point, right this second, to promise yourself that you’re going to start creating fun experiences and interactions with people, no matter what you’re doing.

See, most people walk through their life in a perpetual coma, like zombies. They’re not smiling, they’re not laughing, and they’re not enjoying. They’re just going through the motions. They think to themselves, “Oh no, another trip to the supermarket…” They’re not experiencing anything.

So, when you go out and experience things – and you touch, and you feel, and you smile, and you laugh, women become attracted to you. They can feel your energy. It also shows a sense of confidence, because when you’re doing this, and you’re talking to people, you’re body language will improve. You’re smiling, you’re having good eye contact, and as a result, your confidence will grow and become more apparent to everyone around you. We’ll go through these important things in more detail shortly, but just remember the important point right now. It’s as simple as reminding yourself that everything is a fun experience waiting to be had, so go out and have it!