If you’re really concerned with how you stand, you want to be looking at the Alexander Technique. It’s a great way of understanding the human body and learn how to walk and stand properly, using your body the correct way.

However, with regards to relations, we could actually discuss body language in much greater detail, looking at all the different aspects of it. The first thing I want to talk about is having a confident, alpha body language type. In this world there’s this big group of people that feel the broader you stick your shoulders out, the more tough you look, which they believe is attractive. And in reality, it isn’t. Confident body language is all about looking comfortable. I
think that if anybody stands with their chest puffed out that much with their hands on their hips, they’re really not looking comfortable. It’s all about looking relaxed and chilled out. You don’t see Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise walking around like that, looking posh. They look relaxed. They look comfortable in their setting or scenario wherever they are.  on the subject.

Your key point when you’re looking at body language is to firstly ask if you are comfortable. You want to make sure that in every interaction you’re being comfortable, from the way you stand to the way you sit. Look at your behavior when you’re at home; how do you stand and how do you move around?

If you’re sitting in front of the television and you want to change the channel and you try to reach the remote control, do you walk up to the television, pick up the remote control and sit back? Or do you try and kick it up with your foot and then reach it? Most people try to kick it up and then reach it.

If you’re somebody who doesn’t put the effort into trying to get the remote control, why would you suddenly put the effort in to talk to a stranger? It should be just this casual. You want to be like, “Hey, I want to ask you a question…” and try and reach people without reaching them, the same way you would with your remote. You want it to be relaxed and comfortable. When you’re at home with your family and friends do you walk around like a stiff saying, “Hello, ma’am. Good to meet you.” You don’t, you’re relaxed. It’s more like, “Hey, I want to ask you a question.”

So be relaxed. Duplicate that behavior. Take the time to look at yourself and think about how you stand and walk. One of the best ways to practice this on your own is to set up a video camera and take a video of you at home. While you’re at home, which is often your most comfortable area, you will get to see how you react on a normal, everyday basis. That is when you are most comfortable so that is how you should be. Mimic that; use that.

Most of the attractive guys out there are confident of who they are. They’re confident in going into social settings; they’re confident talking to people. These are all areas you’re going to have to develop. You’re not going to have to get used to just talking to girls but to guys as well. Get used to going into social situations you’re not comfortable with. Hanging out in areas you may not have been before. You need to be cool with all of that. You want to make sure you’re leading. Don’t get caught following the girl. Because nine times out of ten, a girl’s just following another guy.

Lead. If poeple suggest that bar, go along to the bar; have fun at the bar. And then suggest that everybody go somewhere else. But make sure that when you’re suggesting moving the whole group, that the whole group is happy with where you’re going next. So take that control.