How To Treat Yourself Well as a Single Woman
Think of how much more interesting your life will be if you make daily decisions to live it fully.
Whether married or single, it is better to depend on yourself to do what interests you rather than wait for others to invite you to participate in something that may or may not suit you. Sometimes single women feel as if they are third wheels and are uncomfortable being with married friends. And some of their married friends don’t ask them to join in events that are family oriented but fun for all. And let’s not even talk about those dinner parties where if you don’t have a partner, you are excluded completely.
Stop waiting for the phone to ring for the next date, delaying plans to buy your own place, or looking to others to fill up your social calendar. It’s your life to live, so enjoy the independence that many would envy.
Don’t Wait for “Him” or Anyone Else. If you would like to meet someone, do not put your life on hold while waiting for a partner to show up. Become involved in living your life. Plan a fun vacation to an exotic and interesting place. Spend at least part of a holiday with people you enjoy and who value you in their lives.
Create Community. Become involved in an organization that you believe in and connect with a network of other people who are dedicated to its mission. Become immersed in doing what you like. Volunteer.
Buy Yourself Gifts. If you see a nice necklace, art, something special, and you can afford it, buy it. You deserve it.
Healthy Communication with Your And Others
We all know that good communication is essential if you want a good relationship. But many of us don’t quite know exactly what we need to do. “Life” gets in the way, and we seize communication shortcuts or take the person and the relationship for granted by communicating in a way that is not healthy.
Among the many ways you can tell whether you are communicating effectively to your partner is by feeling respect for him and for yourself during the interaction. Recognize that all interactions either hurt or enhance your relationship, so consider wisely how you are communicating what is on your mind or in your heart.
Empathize. Discover ways to see your partner’s point of view in a sensitive way. Listen, without interruption or judgment, to what she or he is saying and how she or he is saying it so you can recognize the feelings behind questions and comments.
Timing. If this is not the “right time” for a serious discussion or confrontation, let him or her know before he or she begins and tell him when you will be available to pay attention, cooperate, and participate. Gather your wits about you and mentally prepare for being open and vulnerable so that you are more able to work through a problem than resist. Heavier discussions that are too lengthy will stress out both of you. Try getting your important points out and allow for comments in a fifteen – minute segment. If there’s a need to go on, ask whether he or she’s OK to discuss it for another few minutes. Try and be clear and brief, but thorough.
Try Something New. If your partner suggests a new approach to an old problem, be open. Perhaps it is time to change a longstanding pattern that gets in the way of your ability to communicate effectively, particularly during times of crisis. Your way may have worked in the past but may not in the future.
Be Conscious of Body Language. Rolling eyes, sighing, shaking your head no, sitting with your arms folded across your body may send a signal or message to your partner that although you say you are “there,” you do not appear to be listening with a joint solution in mind if you are problem solving, or interested in what he is saying. Nonverbal communication is generally more convincing and believable than verbal.