Learning The Basic Communication Skills (For Men)
In this post we are going to be having numerous dating and seduction experts share some of their best tactics, techniques and routines with you. This post is really going to help you create massive attraction with women. Let’s get started.
Dean Cortez Shares His Dating Advice
If I sense that her attention is starting to drift and I want to lock her attention back on me and on the conversation, I’ll often use a cold read. I’ll say to her, “You know, Lisa, I have to admit, I had the wrong idea about you at first. I had you all wrong, you know?” And then she’ll naturally say, “Oh, what do you mean?” And I’ll say, “Well, I’m sure a lot of guys think that because of the way you look that you’re very standoffish and maybe a little bit cold. But I can tell by talking to you, you’re actually a lot funnier and probably a lot more sensitive than most guys realize.” And women almost always agree with this, especially beautiful women who are sick and tired of only being judged on their looks. When you compliment them on things like being funny or being sensitive or being intuitive about people, beautiful women love these kinds of compliments. They’re not used to hearing them.
Another good one is saying to the girl, “You know, Samantha, I can tell something is weighing on your mind right now. Did you come out tonight to have fun and kind of forget about something that’s going right on right now? You’re on the verge of an important decision, am I right?” Now, 9 times out 10 the woman will agree because they all think at one time or another that they are on the verge of some big decision they needed to make. It could be a small decision to you, but to her it’s on her mind. So again, it’s a cold read that almost always works and it will lock her attention back on the conversation and she’ll think to herself, “Man, this guy is so perceptive. He seems to really understand me.”
I have tons of examples of cold reads, but you see the basic idea is that instead of trying to push the conversation forward with more boring smalltalk questions, you’re taking an original approach and these cold reads with women are so effective.
DJ Fuji Says Not To Ask Women Too Many Questions
What you don’t want to do is what most guys do: start asking more questions. They start trying to show more interest because it looks like they’re losing her. Instead, you want to do something completely counterintuitive. When it seems like you are losing her interest, you want to throw your own disinterest. That’s when you want to throw the traditional false time restraints. And at the same time, you’re going to amp up the octane of what you say. So realistically speaking, what that means is make her laugh. Make her laugh and pretend to leave. You do those two things; all of a sudden she’s back to being interested again.
Learning Basic Conversation Skills From John Alanis
Everything I know – and I learn more stuff every day – was learned through trial and error. From high school all the way up really through my 20s, I was probably one of the most unattractive guys on the planet. So all of this stuff that people are asking about I had lived it, and lived it frustratingly for a long time. So there are several ways to kind of deal with that. First off, be a good storyteller. That’s one of the biggest things that I’ve found that will overcome that. It’s because they’re into the story. Their mind is activated. They’re seeing things, and they like that stuff. But you want to keep the back and forth interaction going. Attraction is either growing or it’s dying, and so when you’re talking with a woman, you’re slowly amping up the attraction. You turn it up, you back it off. You turn it off, you back it off.
Women love it when you lead in the interaction because so few men do. Oftentimes, when you get some awkward moments, it’s when you stop leading or pointing the woman toward your goal. Your goal is to set up an initial meeting or have a physical relationship or whatever you want. So you very much have to communicate with an outcome in mind when you’re dialing it up, backing it off, and have the back and forth going. You initiate the interaction, and so you always want to make sure that whatever you’re doing is growing.
Now, if you do feel awkwardness, come back again to getting her to talk about herself and getting her to talk about something that she’s passionate about because a lot of times that will do it. Sometimes it just gets off track and the chemistry dies, and that’s that. Guys shouldn’t think that just because you reached a high level in this skill that it doesn’t happen, because it does. There are just some women who are kind of driftwood. You don’t want to beat yourself up over that.
Learning Basic Conversation Skills From Kezia Noble
I always teach my students never to get to a lull, but they should always, when they get to the high point of the conversation, break rapport. That’s the point where you should always break rapport because after every high point of the conversation, there is a lull.
If unfortunately, the guy has made that mistake and hasn’t taken my advice and he does enter a lull in a conversation, a quiet little thing to do is maybe suddenly notice something about her. Notice something about the way that she is looking that he hasn’t noticed before, such as, “Do you know what? I just realized that you’ve got…” It could be anything: about her shoes, her perfume, and then you give her a double-sided compliment. That’s a great way to suddenly shift it, rather than saying, “Oh, so anyway…” Never say the dreaded “so” before whatever you’re going to say.
You could say, “Sorry, I’ve just gotten quiet for a second. It’s just that I noticed you’ve got a very nice perfume on. What is it?” And she’ll say, “Oh,it’s Chanel.” And you can say, “It’s really nice. Let me smell it.” Smell it and say, “But you know what? You should try (another brand).” You are using a double-sided compliment in telling her ways that she can improve herself. So you actually pick up on the fact that you’ve gone quiet. That’s the best way to deal with it.
How To Deal With Awkward Silences By Entropy
Personally, I used to worry a lot about awkward silences, but what I found over time is that they’re really only as bad as you make them. If the conversation kind of stops and you get tense and awkward, and start thinking, “Oh shit. I’m losing her. I’m losing her” she’s going to pick up on that and sense it. But if you think about conversations with your friends, you have pauses in the conversations all the time.
So I started relaxing into it. And when they came up, I would just kind of let them be. And what’s amazing is that one of two things will happen: either she would sit there and start to get awkward and think, “Oh, I need to think of something else to say.” Or something just casually would naturally pop into my head. So I think the most important thing is the guy just needs to relax about it. It’s not nearly as big a deal as they make it out to be. And then two, just relax and hang out until something pops in your head. And if nothing is popping into your head, then you can pull one of your lines out of your back pocket, and say, “Oh, you don’t look like you’re from Boston.” And that would just get the ball rolling again.
What To Do If You Run Out Of Things To Say By Nick Quick
If you ever run out of stuff to say and you’re at a loss for words, there are five things I tell guys they can do. The first thing they can do is just role play. This is what women find humorous. This is the kind of stuff they do growing up. They play doctor or nurse. They play house. So they’re very accustomed to acting out situations. So you can just make up a crazy role play. One that I like to do is, “Hey, I know her. She used to sit next to me in math class. You know, I used to call her pig tails, and she used to stick out her tongue and call me poopie head, but one day, she passed me one of those notes, you know, the ones that say, “Do you like me, yes or no?” Well, I checked maybe yes, and just handed it back.” Do something like that.
Another thing that you can do is bait her to invest. You can get her to put more into the interaction. One way to do that is qualifying her. I am very sexual in my approach so I will say something along the lines of, “Do you know what? I haven’t met a girl on the planet who doesn’t claim she gives the world’s greatest blow job. But most women are OK.” Now, she’s going to feel compelled to tell you how awesome of a blow job she gives.
The third thing you can do, you can move her around. This is threedimensional escalation. I found that if you can move a girl around the bar 3 or 4 times, you can easily move her home. Another thing you can do is call attention to the elephant in the room. You can say, “You know what? It just got quiet all of a sudden. You should say something, or you know it’s one of those things.” Or you could point out, “You know how quiet everybody has got all of a sudden, or how nobody really talks in these places.” And that will spark the conversation.
And then finally, just be comfortable with that silence, because in that silence, there is sexual tension. If you can handle the sexual tension, she’s going to feel compelled to want to hook up with you later.