Let’s Discuss Approach Anxiety And How To Manage It
In this post we will be asking several pickup pickup artists if they get approach anxiety and what do they do to manage it. Let’s get started.
Vin DiCarlo Talks About His Method For Managing Approach Anxiety
I don’t have approach anxiety anymore.
It all has to do with a person’s mindset. If you have approach anxiety it means that on some level, you feel that approaching a woman is a bad thing.
If you think of a woman as if she’s an opponent, yeah of course you’re going to get approach anxiety.
In my weekend training seminar called “Breakthrough Confidence,” one of the games we play is called “The Beltmaster.”
“Breakthrough Confidence” is a weekend bootcamp I do that uses metaphorical games to permanently restructure your belief system so that you can do one thing and one thing only: Create a guy who can approach women with confidence, because if you can’t do that you can’t get better at anything.
Most boot camps and live training overload guys with information they will never be able to use. Because they cannot consistently approach, they never get enough practice to ever use the techniques they learn.
But if a guy can approach with confidence, then his potential to become a master of approaching and seducing women is without limit. Everything he learns from that point will be exponentially more effective and valuable to him.
Anyway in The Beltmaster, we set up a table with a girl who’s got “The belt.” It’s like one of those big gold and platinum belts that the champion gets in the WWE.
And in the first phase, we have the student walk up and try to get the belt. The price of the belt is 100 bucks, but you’ve only got 50 in your pocket. We actually give you monopoly money and put it in your back pocket.
And you’ll see guys acting just like un-confident men. They’ll walk up kind of nervous and hesitant. They’ll act a bit distant and uninterested and say things such as, “Well I don’t really like the belt. I saw another one I liked better.” They’ll try to lower her value, because they know they aren’t worthy of it.
Then we send them back in, this time with 200 bucks monopoly money in their back pocket and we say, “OK, this time walk up and try to determine if that’s really the one you want.”
Their entire body language will change. They’ll walk up all confident. They’ll have a sense of humor. They’ll flirt with the girl at the counter. They’ll do all the right things and send all the right messages to produce attraction.
So what caused the drastic shift in their body language, their energy, their vibe, and their conversational flow? Was it practicing “correct” body language over and over for hundreds of hours? NO – it was the monopoly money in their back pocket – a fucking piece of paper!
You see, it doesn’t take doing a hundred approaches over and over in order to “desensitize” yourself. That will just make you worse because you’re practicing the wrong mindset a hundred times.
It was a simple trick I used to cause an internal realization that was so powerful it permanently caused a shift in your own perception of what you’re actually doing.
Action Jackson Says He Gets Approach Anxiety
I get approach anxiety everywhere. It’s something that doesn’t go away and I’m actually happy for it. Everything would be pretty boring if it did somehow go away, but as far as the bars and clubs, there are a couple of little tricks I do.
One of them is a well-known trick. It’s a 3-second rule. I call it the ready, set and go rule. When you get that first immediate instinct where you think a girl is attractive, you start walking towards her and go for it. And the better way to do it is combine that with trying to picture her as a childhood friend, and if you can get that mentality in your mind and practice that enough, it actually works.
Now, I was saying I actually like approach anxiety. I didn’t use to, but I do now. And the day I get rid of my approach anxiety is the day I’ll stop having success with women because I do a lot of my approaches during the daytime where you don’t actually want to be the super-smooth pickup artist, like you do with the bars and clubs. It’s actually more effective and you have more success if you’re anxious as hell. Its reason number 196 where I don’t proactively go to the bars and clubs to meet women because my approach anxiety is off the charts in those situations and there it’s working against you. But during the daytime, it actually works in your favor, especially when you’re doing direct approaches.
Bill Preston Talks About Feeling Of Rejection And Approach Anxiety
I get some sort of anxiety but it’s not that I’m feeling rejection or I’m scared to talk to her, it’s almost that feeling you get when you give a speech in front of a large group – you get excited. You know that you are going to be a little bit nervous but at the same time you know how good you are going to feel after you are done and you know how you are going to be in the zone. For me, it’s fun, so it’s kind of an anxiety but it’s based upon more excitement than fear.
Now, how I manage it and get rid of it is just by doing it and actually doing it without any fear of how things are going to turn out. So, don’t worry about rejection. In fact, during the first approach of the night I actually try to get rejected. The more you do that, you find that even when you are trying to get rejected, you can’t.
My friend and I would actually go up to two girls and say “Hey, our girlfriends are out of town, we are feeling kind of horny and you guys are pretty cute, would you guys like to have a foursome?”
And the look on their faces was absolutely priceless. We would just continue our conversation and they would ask “What do you mean? Do you guys want to play tennis?” And we would say “You know what we mean.” And pretty soon they are laughing and they realize that we were screwing around with them and the next thing you know they are following us to the next bar. So, if you really try to get rejected, you realize that approach anxiety and rejection is actually silly.
Lance Mason Says Getting Approach Anxiety Is A Good Thing
I definitely still get approach anxiety and that’s actually a good thing. The really good performers, they always get stage fright, but they always know how to deal with it. They always know how to turn it into positive energy, and when they stop getting stage fright, all of a sudden their performances stop being awesome because they lose that extra energy. So it’s good to get approach anxiety. But I always know how to channel that approach anxiety and the way I channel the approach anxiety is through physical mechanism. It’s purely physical because anxiety, it’s a lot of physical symptoms, right? Your heart rate goes up, you start sweating, your breathing gets elevated and these are all things that scientists can measure, but that’s just the physical response.
It’s your interpretation that’s important because that can be interpreted as anxiety, as a negative thing, or it can be interpreted as excitement and passion and that’s what you want. You want to feel those feelings and you want to turn them into excitement and passion.
Physical Confidence, and I believe passionately in this. But the way you do it is just with your stance. Just stand in a different way, put your shoulders back and the most important thing is put a smile in your face and get excited and maybe look a little mischievous. And what you’re doing is you’re taking all that physical energy, that you might have called anxiety if in you’re a negative physical state, and you’re turning it to excitement, you’re turning it into passion and it’s that passion that really hooks the women you talk to, so basically it’s a physical exercise.
You can learn to do it. Just stand in the mirror and be the guy who is confident – Shoulders back, chest out, big smile on your face, just ready to tackle the world and you can practice this at home. I recommend you practice this everyday if you’re having issues with approach anxiety because snapping your body into shape like that will immediately dispel any kind of anxiety you’re having, and it will turn it into passion, turn it into excitement when you use it to meet women.
Joseph Matthews Teaches How To Make Approach Anxiety Go Away
Well, I still do get approach anxiety. It’s not as bad as it used to be, but it’s something that I think never really goes away unless you’re a complete sociopath and you don’t care about anything at all.
The most common excuse for that approach anxiety fear is, “Oh, I’m afraid of rejection.” Well, you’re not really afraid of rejection because if that’s the case you wouldn’t be able to function every day in society.
If you went to a movie theater and the movie was sold out, boom! Rejection. If some fat, bald, ugly woman with acne suddenly showed up and said “You’re ugly. I hate you” you’re not going to care.
So maybe you’re just afraid of rejection from women. Well, when we see someone who we find attractive, when we see a beautiful woman that we want to have sex with or sleep with or marry or whatever the case may be, the first thing we do is judge them in our mind as being something of a prize. We put them up on a pedestal. It becomes something that we really, really want to possess. So then we submit ourselves to her judgment. We need to find out if she likes us. And so what happens when you submit yourself to someone else’s judgment is you’re basically taking all the power away from yourself and giving it to them.
So to me, the important part about getting over the approach anxiety is getting away from that judgment where you see that woman as being up on that pedestal and you’re submitting yourself to her. So what I’d like to do is if I see a beautiful woman and my initial reaction is like, “Yeah, I really want that.” But then I have to step back for second and try and detach myself from those emotions I’m feeling. So I might imagine her with hairy legs or moustache or something like that just to try and get me back on an even keel, so that when I’m interacting with her or when I decided to go and approach her, I’m not jacked up and nervous. I’m cool, calm, and collected because I took her off that pedestal and I took away the power of her to judge me.