I remember back when I wrote my first online dating profile. It was a little over ten years ago and it was a STRUGGLE to say the least. I remember putting it off and even dreading it.

I sat down in front of my computer trying to find the best words I could use to describe myself. I even tried to imagine what a very HOT woman would want to see when she browsed my profile. Well, this kind of thinking led to disaster!

€ Let’s take a look at my very first pitiful attempt at writing a profile all those years ago.

Headline: Nice guy here!! (Ouch! We’re already off to a BAD start.)

Body: “Hello, and thanks for reading my profile. Gosh, it’s always hard to write something about myself. Well, here goes. Anyway, I’m just a simple guy. I like going out to restaurants and hanging out with friends. It’s so hard for me to date in this area so I thought I would try online dating.I’m looking for a nice woman who wants to go out and have a nice time. So, if you like what you see in my profile then drop me a line.”

online dating profile

There you have it! This was my painful first profile. Just in case you think this might be a good profile, let me explain why it’s not something you should ever use on any dating site!

First, I start off with a very unoriginal and cliché headline. (Oh, I forgot to mention that the screen name I used was “Real Mr. Right.”)

Ouch!

Anyway, I start off my profile with very passive language almost apologizing for being on a dating site and wasting some woman’s time. I then go on to say how I’m a “simple guy” and I like to “hang out with friends.” WOW, now that’s going to get a woman’s juices flowing every time!!

(You just caught a glimpse of MY sense of humor.)

I then explain how hard it is for me to meet women, (deadly mistake.) I talk about the kind of woman I want to meet, continuing to bore the reader to death… then I conclude my ad by telling her that IF she approves of me then she should write back.

Now, what am I conveying about myself in this profile? Basically, I’m telling a woman.

“I’m a really unconfident guy and I’m sorry for taking some of your time. Would you consider going out with me because no other women will give me the time of day? Thank you and I’m sorry again for wasting your time.”

OUCH!! YUCK!!

That is what every attractive woman who reads that profile is going to think of me. You never want to be passive in your profile and you want to convey CONFIDENCE with a dash of humor mixed in. I did not do any of those things. So, now let’s get on to how we are supposed to write an AWESOME profile!

But first, let’s go over headlines and screen names.

screen names

Headlines and Screen Names

Now, as I mentioned earlier, the first thing a woman notices about a guy’s profile is his picture. The second thing she sees is his headline and screen name. It is VERY important to have a headline that SCREAMS out at the reader.

While you want your headline to get noticed, you don’t want to over do it and always make it creative. You don’t want to scream, “Hey you.” (Although that’s much better then the headline I used in the previous example.)

When I was testing various profile headlines, I discovered a formula that worked well for me almost every time. What I do is start off with a word like “Hey” then I issue a challenge to her. Here are some examples:

1. Hey, you’d better stop THAT right now!
2. Hey, what the HELL are you doing?
3. Hey, did you really just say THAT?
4. Hey, I can’t believe you are still window shopping!

You see what I’m doing here? I start off, “Hey” getting her attention and then I issue some sort of challenge statement. When she reads example one, she’ll be thinking, “Wow, I’d better stop doing what? I better check this guy out.”

What’s important here is that it GETS her attention; it’s much different from what she’s seeing from all the other guys. Put yourself in a woman’s shoes. She’s sitting there reading through a bunch of BORING profiles about to fall asleep, and then she comes across one of the above headlines. It piques her curiosity forcing her to at least VIEW your profile and that’s the all important first step!

That is the first thing you want to accomplish; getting her to view your profile. You also want to put the words, that, this, these, or those in your headline because it gets her wondering what that is you see, you are being mysterious. And being mysterious is always attractive to women.

Now, one thing you need to do is make sure you start off your profile in a way that’s congruent with your headline. If you chose the headline, “Hey, you’d better stop THAT right now”, start off your profile explaining what THAT is and make sure it’s something funny.

For example, you might say, “that’s right, stop sitting in front of your computer browsing through lame profiles. Your search is over.”

Then go on with your profile.
See how I do that?

If you choose one of those headlines and then start off your profile just talking about yourself, she’ll be like, “WTF, this guy tricked me. Screw him! Next!” So make sure you follow up your headline in the first part of the profile.

Ok, what are some good screen names? Well, screen names really aren’t that important. All you need to do with screen names is make sure you don’t use something tacky or cheesy like “studman” or “BigDongMan”. Please tell me you’ve never used those!! It’s really more about your pics and your headline. Those are what are going to grab a woman’s attention.

If you want to use some good screen names, try and pick one that relates to your mission in life. For example, I like the name “Entrepreneur.” It conveys that I’m ambitious because I have my own business. “Mission Man” is also a good one. The point is don’t spend a lot of time struggling over a screen name and don’t pick a lame one. That’s all.

Body of Your Profile

“After reading several of these profiles, I have decided a few things: anyone who is able to rattle off their wonderful traits and describe themselves as someone who is sexy, confident and has a great personality is probably not my type. I like a guy who is all of these things, but doesn’t realize it.”

(Anon Girl)

So, now we are onto the body of your profile. This is the main dish, the “meat” of your profile and you want it to be done right.

When I was testing out different profiles years ago, I discovered a simple formula that seemed to work for me almost every time. Remember when I talked about the two things that attract women more then anything else?

Sure you do…

Confidence and YOUR sense of humor

So, when I started writing profiles, I realized I had to convey my confidence and mix in my sense of humor. But how much is too much and in what order?

PROFILE BODY TEMPLATE: (HCH)

Step 1: Intro – Your Humor, Finish off Headline
Step 2: Body – Conveying your Confidence.
Step 3: Conclusion – Humorous statement

So, that is the general formula. You start off with humor, convey your confidence, and then finish off with humor once again. I call it “HCH” for short.

Let’s look at each step in a little more detail.

Step 1: Intro – Your Humor, Finish off Headline

Earlier, I gave you an example of how to start off your profile by finishing your headline. If you chose the headline; “Hey, you’d better stop that right now”, then you want to address that comment right at the beginning. You can say something like, “that’s right, stop window shopping. You’re search is finally over”

What this does is it puts a woman at ease and of course it also gets her attention. Most guys use very little humor in their profiles. When she comes across a profile with one of these headlines and a funny intro, she’s going to stop and read. Count on it!

Step 2: Body – Conveying your Confidence.

So, we have her attention and now we want to really convey our confidence. You don’t want to use too much humor because you’ll come across, as “clownish” or “goofy” and she won’t take you seriously. You might make her laugh, but there has to be more then that.

So, how do you convey confidence? There’s a huge difference between saying you are a confident guy and conveying it. Saying you are confident would be writing something like

“I am a really confident guy.”
Just like saying you are funny would go like this:
“I am a really funny guy.”

Now writing those two statements doesn’t really tell a woman anything. They are just words. Notice how we conveyed humor in the example intro above. We need to do the same thing when conveying confidence.

The way to convey your confidence is to write down your strengths. Use, strong, firm language and give her the feeling that this is a guy who is on his mission and knows what he wants. State your opinions, show that you have preferences, show that you aren’t afraid to express the REAL you! There are several ways to do this and we will look at some examples a little later.

You also want to talk about ONE of your passions, but only mention it briefly. There needs to be some mystery there. One way to do this is to say something like this:

“I have many passions but right now I’m all about….”

And fill in the blanks with your particular hobby. She’ll be wondering about your “many other passions.”

You see, all of these are little phrases and “Buzz” words that will get a woman responding to you. You want to put as many of these as possible throughout your profile.

Now, the final part of Step 2 is to briefly describe what kind of woman you are looking for. This part can be a little tricky. You want to show preferences and be picky but you also still want to maintain some mystery. Having a woman wonder if she’s good enough for you is exactly what you want!

One thing I noticed about describing my ideal woman was that even though I included all the specifics about her looks and personality, I still got responses from women that didn’t match my preferences. You see, when women respond to a profile, most of the time they don’t really look at your preferences. They see your humor and confidence and that forces them to respond ANYWAY.

Anyway, the point is, sometimes you won’t get women you want writing back, but most of the time you will! So, describe the type of woman you want and be specific.

Step 3: Conclusion – Humorous statement

Now, the last part of your profile should, once again show your sense of humor. This is actually pretty easy and it conveys a couple of things. First, it shows you are light hearted and not taking this whole dating thing too seriously and secondly, it allows you to get out on a high note.

You’ll leave her wanting more…
Nice!

One of the ways I like to do this is to take a shot and some of the other guys showing up in her search results. I’ll say something like:

“Listen, you’d better get moving and respond quickly because the guy below me actually still lives with his Mother and you want NO part of him.”

I just made that up. You see, you can come up with several variations of that. Here’s another one:

Listen, you had better get going on that response because the guy below me plans on picking you up on his bike, and I ain’t talking about a motorcycle.”

See, that’s an awesome way of ending your profile. It puts a smile on her face and gets her writing to you.

A Dating Guide Video Tutorial

Here is a video tutorial that will help teach you even more online dating tips to help you easily meet and seduce women.