Practical Advice For Guys To Improve Their Relationships
Use the Art of Detachment
If you want to be the kind of guy that a high-quality woman finds irresistible then you’re going to have to learn the art of detachment. As long as you act as if it doesn’t matter if you fail or not, you won’t fail because you’ll be having way too much fun.
Being detached in this context has several meanings.
Firstly, you must learn to give a woman her space when you’re interacting with her. As you two get to know one another and become more intimate later on, there’ll be plenty of time for being all up and under each other as a couple. But for right now, give her some space.
What this will communicate to her is that you’re not a needy guy who’s desperately looking for a woman. Women can smell desperation from a mile away, and they immediately run in the opposite direction.
Secondly, as you interact with her, just seem as if you’re uninterested in trying to get something out the situation. Have a confident, winning attitude that communicates that you know you’re a great guy, and you don’t need to prove it to anyone. Be laid back and friendly, and act as if nothing else matters but the moment.
This is what people really mean when they say someone is cool. They’re detached from it all. They’re not too invested in the outcomes, but rather they’re just enjoying the moment and ensuring that everyone is having a good time.
You’re not thinking about if she’ll want to see you again or if you’re going to say something stupid. You simply don’t care.
You’re not thinking if you should call first or if she’ll call you. Why? Well, because you simply don’t care about the outcome.
The more detached you are from a situation the more clearly you can think and the more engaged you’d be in the moment. Spending too much time thinking about future results is the surest way to failure in any area of life. Just focus on the moment and feel confident that things will always work out.
In fact, adopt this attitude, or better yet use it as a self-talk whenever you feel as if you’re trying too hard or that you might fail:
“It doesn’t matter if she likes me or not. I like me a lot, and that’s all that matters. I like myself because I respect myself, and people like me because they respect me. Besides, I think I’m a pretty cool person and I only want to know if she’s a pretty cool person as well. If she doesn’t end up liking me, that’s fine. And if she does end up liking me, that’s fine as well. Not being liked has never killed anyone. So whatever happens, I’m okay with it, and it really doesn’t matter to me either way because I’m definitely going to have a good time no matter what.”
Commit to having as much fun as humanly possible in any social situation and you’ll have uncovered an untapped source of serendipitous power. Oh, and I suggest that you write that little self talk on a big sheet of paper and stick it up somewhere you can read it every day. Or better yet, write that on a card and keep it in your pocket or in your wallet and carry it around with you. Read it right before you interact with any woman and use it as your “Coolness Credo”.
Let it be your philosophy when it comes to interacting not just with women, but also with anyone in general. It’s a great way to look at the world, since you’ll never need the approval of others to make you feel a sense of worth and value.
Believe me, if you read this article and this is the only technique that you master, you’ll be much happier in life when it comes to your relationships. And a good woman will appreciate you more simply because you don’t let things get to you, even her.
When a woman realizes that she isn’t the deciding factor in your peace of mind, she’ll become ridiculously interested and attracted to you. She’ll want to know what makes you tick, what your thoughts are, and how you live your life. By being detached, you essentially end up succeeding simply because you didn’t really care too much about it.
It’s like you see success as inevitable to you. Because you believe it, it will be. And the less you worry about success, the easier it will be for you.
It’s a paradox, but one that works. So use it.
Become the Superior Choice to the Woman You Want
A woman we might consider to be the “Total Package” is not the kind of woman who’s interested in wasting her time when it comes to men. This is why it’s important for you to communicate your high value to her early on and continuously as you interact with her.
Women like this come across men who want their time and attention very often, thus they can be extremely selective. They’re quite used to having guys chase after them in order to get their approval, and quite frankly, they’re tired of it.
What she actually wants is a fun challenge. She doesn’t want to be with a guy who’s easy to please. She wants a man that has firm personal boundaries, refined tastes, and high standards for himself.
Simply put, she wants a man who knows what he wants and who’s determined to have it. She’ll eventually lose interest or never have an interest in a man who doesn’t have high but reasonable standards.
But why is this so? Well, a good woman wants and needs a man she respects and admires so that she can work on making him happy. She wants someone that she has to go out of her way for, not because she has to, but because she wants to.
But if you’re the kind of guy that’s pretty much happy with whatever she has to offer, she’ll feel cheapened. She’ll think that you can be satisfied with any woman that comes along, and that’s not a comforting feeling for her.
If a woman can land a guy with high standards, she’ll feel as if she’s won the lottery. She’ll be proud to be with a high-quality man because she knows that he doesn’t just settle for anything and anyone. She’ll feel that you’re a catch and that she caught you and this is a very important feeling for her to have.
What’s even more important is that she’ll feel fulfilled and happy knowing that you chose her out of every other woman based not just on her beauty, but her uniqueness and her virtue. She’ll feel that she earned your affection and that she’s irreplaceable to you. It’s that feeling of her being your one and only woman that gives her a deep sense of security and accomplishment as a worthwhile woman.
What she also wants is a man who is so confident in himself that he could really care less whether she approves of him or not. In fact, she craves to be with an honest, confident, loving, and ambitious man who can make her feel desirable while making himself desirable to her as well. She wants the opportunity to yearn for a man worthy of her, but the guys she comes across on a daily basis simply cannot give her that opportunity.
Truly, what she wants is a guy that can keep up with her. She’s so tired of men catering to her every wish and desire in order to get her approval that she simply does not even notice them anymore. In her mind, she’s desperately looking and waiting for some guy to come along who is on her level or higher in terms of personal value.
And believe me, the more you work on yourself to develop the kind of character and personality that is the best version of your unique self, the better your chances will be in attracting the ideal high quality woman of your dreams.
Enhancing Your Personal Value
Your personal value is simply your own self-estimation. Whatever you believe about yourself in terms of what you have to offer the world is your sense of personal value. This makes up your self image and the more powerful and capable your self-image is the more powerful and capable your personal value to yourself and others will be.
A beautiful woman who has her act together has a better self-image than most other women. She has a better idea of who she is and what she’s capable of, and she’s only interested in men that can continuously bring out the best in her because they know how to bring out the best in themselves. But this is where you can easily separate yourself from every other guy out there.
How? By consciously pursuing some form of self-development.
I know, you’re probably scratching your head at this point, but let me explain this mind-blowing idea.
What is it that every woman wants to do to a man?
Get your mind out of the gutter; I’m being serious here.
You give up? Every woman in some form or fashion wants to either change a man to suit her needs, which is bad, or she wants to influence him to become the best version of himself, which is good.
A good woman will belong to the latter category. This is why your conscious pursuit of self development will make you stand out from any other guy out there.
Because a good woman wants to be a positive influence on a man, she’s actually looking for a man with a high potential for personal growth.
Please stop for a moment and let that sink in.
A good woman with a lot to offer a man doesn’t want to be with a guy who’s looking to settle in life. She doesn’t want anything to do with a man that wastes his time and energy doing nothing worthwhile because he’ll do the same with her. She will literally run from a man who isn’t engaged in some form of learning or personal development activity.
Why? Because what she’s really looking for is a man who has the habit of improving himself consistently. She realizes that any man who is actively seeking new ways to improve himself expects the best from himself and that he’ll also expect the best from her as well.
I hope that bit of wisdom takes a load off of your back in thinking that you had to become the “perfect man” in order to get the woman of your dreams.
Like I said before, no one’s perfect. but, her perfect man is the one that is ideal for her and he’s the kind of guy who’s always striving for the next level of growth in his own life.
He’s the kind of guy who’s constantly evolving in all areas of his life, and he’s doing so off of his own volition.
What this communicates to a woman is that you’re more than willing to better yourself and to reach your highest potential while you’re here on this earth. I cannot begin to tell you how attractive this is to a good woman.
When she comes across this one of a kind guy who has a passion for self-development in all areas of his life, she’ll become quite interested in him. This is why it’s so important for you to follow your own path and stay on it, because the woman that can enhance your life and make you much more happy and successful will be attracted to your passion, your focus, and your drive to grow and excel.
This easily separates you from most guys out there because they’re simply not interested in pursuing some form of conscious self development. Heck, most guys aren’t even really that interested in some form of worthwhile achievement.
This is good news for you my friend.
How to Communicate Your Value
Learning new skills and getting good at something will build your overall self-confidence. By taking up fun and interesting hobbies, you’re actually bringing a new dimension to your life and allowing yourself to explore your own potentialities. All of this helps to build a powerful self-image as being a capable and productive man, and this is something that you cannot hide from a good woman.
There are many ways you can communicate your high value and your uniqueness to the woman you’re with. For example, are you an excellent cook, a master of the kitchen? If you are, then cook for her. Instead of going to some restaurant be creative and plan a delicious meal for her and let her taste your skills.
This is just an example of how easy it is to incorporate your passion into your dating life. What you want is for the woman you’re with to see you in your element. We all know that first impressions are lasting impressions, so start things off by showing her some of the areas that you excel in effortlessly.
Whatever you’re great at, good at, or getting good at, let her see it. Somehow, get her to interact with you and let your true budding genius shine. Even a more cerebral habit like reading for instance can be put on display by showing her your vast collection of books or by suggesting to her a bookstore shopping date.
You can even use your vast storehouse of knowledge to impress her and teach her something new. And since you’re obviously only interested in attracting a great woman who’s right for you, you won’t have to worry about looking like a complete nerd in front of her.
If she’s the right woman, the things that interest you and make you a better and more interesting man will interest her and make you attractive to her as well.
This is why having hobbies that increase your manly skills is so essential. It helps you to become the best version of your natural self, and so it’s much easier to attract the right kind of woman.
Your hobbies and path of personal growth makes you seem dynamic, attractive, and very interesting to the woman of your dreams. It displays your creativity, your ingenuity, and your desire to try new things and maximize all of your latent talents and abilities. All this tells her that you’re the kind of man that loves to learn new things, and that’s a quality that she can support one hundred percent.
Remember, if there’s one thing that she simply cannot stand in a relationship, it’s boredom.
Choosing Your Hobbies
A love for lifelong learning is the lifeblood of a healthy lifestyle for the mature man. Mastering a skill or partaking in a passionate interest will make a man extremely attractive to the right woman.
Keep in mind though that the hobbies themselves won’t attract your ideal woman, but your passion for them and improving yourself will. You simply cannot hide passion, so ensure that you choose something that makes you feel alive just thinking about it.
Doing something besides watching mindless television will keep your mind well honed and sharp as a man. You’ll have an advantage over your peers and your specialized knowledge and experiences will make you stand out.
Just remember to have fun with your hobbies and keep searching for something that engages you totally. Choose hobbies that make you forget about the other stresses in your life and make you feel as if time is flying by when you’re doing it.
The more fun it is for you, the more attractive it will make you to the woman of your dreams.
Use the Internet and look for something that grabs your interest and give it a go. Just remember to have fun with it as it should be something that makes time fly whenever you’re engaged in it.