The Best Method To Approach A Girl
Women can see you coming from a mile away. They sense you, and if they are attracted to you, they want you to approach them. I almost always find this starts with a smile. You noticed her from across the room and gave her a quick smile. Here’s the best part, women will usually always smile back, even if they’re not interested! Think about how good it feels when someone smiles at you, even if you’re not interested. You can have that same effect on anyone, just by smiling!
Something as simple as a smile is very important, so let’s explore what a confident smile is so you can develop it.
When you look at a woman with a very sexy, confident smile, you’re going to be able to intrigue her, turn her on. Guys often walk over looking nervous, so I want you to practice your smile until it’s second nature, so you’re not one of those guys, you just smile naturally.
Here’s what I you to do. Stand in front of the mirror and smile at that mirror. Even better, sit in front of a camera and practice smiling. Take a video of yourself and your smile, and see how you feel. Was the smile warm, was it real, was it powerful, and was it strong? Yes, it’ll be weird video taping yourself just smiling, but you need to do this in order to become relaxed and natural with your smile. Sometimes it’s difficult to smile on command, but just relax, and think of something that makes you happy. Lose yourself in this thought, and soon you’ll end up smiling! Remember this feeling, and remember how this smile feels on your face. Next time you want to practice smiling, take yourself back to this moment. Most importantly, keep practicing it! You want to easily and naturally bring back this smile, especially when you’re out in public and find yourself making eye contact with that hot girl across the way!
Everyone’s smile is different, but what makes a smile work is being confident behind the smile. This exercise will help you understand what your smile is, and once you become aware of yourself and your smile you can practice letting it out naturally. Work on your smile and be confident with it!
I remember when I became aware of my smile. I always thought my lip was turning in, and I felt like it was going to quiver uncontrollably. I always felt uncomfortable seeing a woman for the very first time and trying to give her a nice, warm smile. So I actually had to go and practice my smile because as a bartender in New York, you have to smile when somebody comes in.
It’s like you’ve always got to be on. Bartending helped me understand the power of what a smile really conveys. And the great thing about it is, if you smile, a woman will look at you and see you as being very warm, very friendly, and very open, and a lot of her defenses will come down, especially if that smile is perceived as being real and genuine. So go and work on that smile right now. It’s a great exercise for you to do.
Do it now! Don’t tell yourself you’re going to do it later! For all these exercises, the only way your going to improve is by doing them. Go practice your smile, and I promise I’ll be here when you return.
Ok, so now that you have your smile nailed, let’s talk about the next important part of step 1. Imagine you’ve smiled at a woman, and she’s smiled back, and you have a good feeling about her, so you decide to approach. Remember this because it’s important: the way you approach will cause the attraction momentum to either rise or fall.
What do I mean by this? Well, if you’ve been staring at her like that hungry wolf for hours, and then you approach her, she immediately is going to be repelled by you, because she’s going to wonder why you didn’t approach her in the first place, why you didn’t come over right away.
You also want to approach a woman with authority. You want to show great body language, with your shoulders back, and which will give you a natural commanding presence, not one that appears forced.
Men who walk over immediately are the ones who will be well received by women. The ones who wait are the ones who usually fail. If you ask any woman her feelings about the way a man approaches, she’ll tell you she often hears the music from “Jaws” playing in her head. She’ll lose any of that initial attraction she might have had when she feels circled like prey. So walk up to her with authority and confidence, and you will continue building on that attraction momentum created by your smile.
When I walk over to anyone, I always pretend that he or she is an old friend. I am not nervous. My shoulders are not rolling inward. I don’t walk over thinking, “What do I say, what do I do?” I walk over and have already figured out what I’m going to say. Remember the exercises from earlier, where you’re out in your world practicing, making observations around you? This is where that pays off. I make that observation. I notice what she’s doing and immediately head over there to talk to her about it. I don’t hesitate. I don’t stop. I talk to her as I would speak to anybody else, and I use a very powerful voice tone, because I know by doing this, and walking over immediately and not hovering, I’ll really be completing the first step to developing incredible attraction with her.
Remember, it’s not your attraction you’re trying to build. We already know your attraction happens more quickly than a rhino in heat during mating season. It’s her attraction that you need to develop and create.
So what happens next, after you’ve approached confidently?
Step #2, is another opportunity to either raise a woman’s level of interest, or immediately lose any attraction. Now you’ve heard me say this a few times already, and it’s important to really understanding attraction momentum. Before I tell you what step 2 is, I want to make sure you really understand what Attraction Momentum is, so let’s use an anlogy.
Imagine you’re a salmon returning home after some quality time in the ocean. You’re swimming along and all of sudden there’s a fish ladder in front of you. Each step of attraction momentum is like a step in the fish ladder. However, this fish ladder is different, because it’s controlled at the top by the beautiful woman you’re trying to attract.
Let’s step into her shoes, because from her perspective, she barely notices the bunches of fish gathered at the bottom pool. She’s paying some attention to the fish at the first step of the ladder, but most of her attention is focused on the fish furtherest up, closest to her. Now, this beautiful woman also has a special power on these fish. The moment a fish messes up and does something that she doesn’t like, she can just look at the fish and it becomes immobilized, unable to swim. Once this happens the current that the fish has been swimming against wins, and the fish is instantly shot back down to the bottom pool to join the rest of the fish that don’t have a chance.
This is the same thing that happens with attraction momentum. Each step up the fish ladder is like one step in building attraction momentum, but the moment you do something that makes you just like the thousands of other men, you get sent back to the bottom, and it’s really hard to make it back once you’ve been sent down.
Let’s explain what most men do to get sent back down to the bottom pool, so you won’t do the same thing.
Most men will talk at a woman with random thoughts. Remember “he-talk?” Men tend to speak in disconnected circles, as that works in the man world. Take the following example: Two men are sitting in a café watching a game on TV. This is how a conversation could typically go:
Man 1:” “You hungry?”
Man 2:” “Yes.”
Man 1:” “Wow! Did you see that throw?”
Man 2:” “Yes, that was great. Hey . . . Check her out!”
Man 1:” “Hot!”
Man 2:” “Yeah, really hot. So, how’s work?”
Man 1:” “Good. And you?”
Man 2:” “Good. What do you want to eat?”
Man 1:” “Sandwich maybe . . . Wow! Look at that play.”
Man 2:” “Forget the play. Look at her!”
Man 1:” “Hot.”
Man 2:” “Yeah, I think I want a sandwich too. Let’s order.”
Did you notice how that worked? The converstaion started with one topic, moved on to three other topics in quick bursts, and then ended up back on the first topic. This is what “man talk” looks like, so let’s look at the conversation between two women in the same café so you can understand how women typically intereact, react, and speak to one another.
Women 1:” “How was your date last night?”
Women 2:” “It was ok.”
Women 1:” “Just ok? Why? What happened?”
Women 2:” “He was really funny, but …”
Women 1:” “But what?”
Women 2:” “He did something when the “waitress came over that really made me think.”
Women 1:” “What did he do? Was he checking her out?”
Women 2:” “I am not sure. I have been running it through my head, and I just can’t get a reading on it.”
Women 1:” “Details please! Let’s figure this out . . .”
Do you see the difference? Women get deeper into a single topic of conversation (usually about how something makes them feel, while men talk in random circles, eventually getting back to the original conversation.
Let’s take a look at another way attraction momentum is killed, this time in a café and this is after a woman has smiled and checked out the man.
Man:” ” “Can I borrow a section of your paper?”
Woman:” “Yes, you can.”
Man:” ” “Are you having a good day?”
Woman:” “Yes I am . . . but this story about Iraq is really disturbing.”
Man:” ” “Do you live here?”
Woman:” “Yes . . . around the corner. I love”this area.”
Man:” ” “What do you do for work?”
This is the case of a man using “he-talk” to try and communicate with a woman. A man walks over, and he has a set of predetermined questions that he wants to ask her already in his mind. And, not once did he pick up on anything she was saying, which in turn causes the attraction momentum to decrease as each word comes out of his mouth. So remember, not listening kills attraction momentum!
And it doesn’t end there, because there are additionally many other ways a man can kill attraction.
For instance, like I’ve said before, a man kills attraction momentum when he looks at a woman like he’s a desperate, hungry wolf staring down its next meal. Or when he’s out with a hungry testosterone laden wolf pack, and he pokes a friend five times before talking to a woman. Women don’t communicate like hungry wolves about to pounce on their next meal!