Beyond motive, we need to make sure our attitude is right. If your attitude is a “have to,” you resist. You can’t drive yourself toward it. Motive and motivation are connected. So, you’ve got to shift from a negative “have to” to a constructive “want to” to release your creativity and passion.

When I was a high school football coach, before I switched my mind set, I would gripe and complain along with the other coaches, “We have to rely on these damn kids.” Nothing creates more pressure than living in a “have to” environment. “It’s out of our control. Why did we do this to ourselves?” And in a game, I would look across the field and see that the other coach was just as sick.

I remember the moment when I changed my attitude and it changed my life forever. I was driving to the stadium, and I stopped at a light, right next to a tavern. I can still see it in my mind, and this has been almost 30 years. I said to myself, “You don’t have to go to the game. Why don’t you just stop the car, get out, and go get drunk in the tavern? Don’t go. You don’t have to go.”

success mindset

But then I said to myself, “What do you mean you don’t have to go? What do you mean don’t go? From the time you were nine years old you wanted to be a coach. You don’t have to go, you get to go. And if somebody tried to take it away from you, you’d fight to keep it. So, shut your mouth and go. You choose to go. You want to go.” Honestly, I’ve never been under such pressure since that day.

You create your own pressure by putting your task, your goals, your family, your life on a “have to” basis. Once you release the pressure, you become very effective. You allow yourself to flow. Otherwise, you engage in negative creativity to avoid the “have to” situation.

We develop attitudes about every aspect of our existence our clothes, our cars, our politics, our friends, our careers, our ethics all the “norms” of our daily life. We’ve had some attitudes so long that they become part of our automatic pilot system. If we want to change direction, we’ll want to change some attitudes.

An attitude is an emotional predisposition to a situation or stimulus. Aeronautically, the “attitude” of an airplane is judged by the angle of the wings in relation to a fixed point on the horizon in other words, the direction in which the plane is leaning. An attitude is the direction in which you lean. If you lean toward something, you have a positive attitude toward it. If you lean away, you have a negative attitude.

Even if you can see (visualize) the outcome or have good intentions (right motive), you can’t just use the “just do it” approach. It doesn’t work unless you want to do it.