Top Dating Coaches Teach How To Develop Self Confidence
In this post some of the top dating coaches will be teaching you to you can quickly develop your self confidence. So lets get started. Shall we?
Vin DiCarlo Teaches Ways To Develop Self Confidence
In order to really develop self confidence, you have to first realize what self confidence really is. Self confidence is just a feeling. It‟s a feeling that propels you instantly and automatically and effortlessly, really, to do what you need to do to reach your goals.
In this case it can be approaching a woman. And there are different levels of self confidence. For instance, you can have the self confidence to approach a woman who‟s sitting alone in a coffee shop. Or you can have self confidence that allows you to instantly walk up to the hottest women – even if they are surrounded by a group of guys – and you‟ll do it because you KNOW you can dominate the situation and get her. It‟s the feeling of self confidence that propels you to do it.
Now what most people don‟t realize is WHERE that feeling of self-confidence comes from. Guys will say it‟s from a lot of practice and desensitizing yourself by getting used to rejection. Or they‟ll say it‟s from knowing the skills and knowing what to do – and yes they‟re partially right because eventually after a LONG time, and luck that can work. In fact that‟s how most naturals got good – they were lucky and had the RIGHT experiences growing up, which gave them the positive reinforcement to build that feeling of self confidence.
But what if you aren‟t a natural? What if your experiences haven‟t been all that great? What if you‟re experiencing a lot of fear or you‟ve been rejected in the past? Then the feeling you‟re going to have when you think about approaching a woman is going to be a painful one and actually make you feel like NOT approaching a woman.
So the only way to do it – which is kind of like cheating if you really think about it – is to deliberately re-design a new self image and install it into your subconscious mind. There are very specific visualization techniques you can use to do just that.
The reason this works is because the feeling of self confidence – the same feeling of self confidence that makes you move through the world with power and dominance, the same self confidence that gives you relaxed body language that‟s magnetically attractive, the same self confidence that lets your conversation flow, where you say all the right things – is AUTOMATICALLY generated from your internal self image.
I‟ll get a bit more in depth when we talk about getting rid of approach anxiety later in a couple minutes.
Action Jackson Reveals Inner Game Secrets
I‟ve been doing this for ten years and I‟ve yet to find any program or product that gave me self-confidence overnight or within a week or anything like that. It is a process, but I did find a neat little way to expedite that process. And what I did was way back I would go out and watch other guys approach the hottest girls in the club and get rejected. And when the guys would walk away you could see it in their body language that it just killed their self-confidence.
So I took a different, unconventional approach. I started going for the women I knew I could probably get. They were on my level. The women I knew would worship my qualities and brag about being with me, emotionally stroke me. And these women, they weren‟t the 9s or 10s. They were mostly 7s and some 8s, but what happened was I absorbed these good emotional patterns that they were flooding me with and my self-confidence grew. And because of that my non-verbal communication and sub-communication behavior expressed these new awesome qualities to every girl around me, now including the 9s and the 10s and the 8s and that worked great for me.
If you do this, one day, you‟ll literally be lying there and look at the girl next to you and think, “Damn, how did I snag this girl?” So that‟s what I would recommend guys do only because that has worked for me.
Bill Preston On Confidence Building
Get good at something. It doesn‟t matter what it is. It could be math, it could be playing tennis, getting in shape, anything. The more things you become good at and when you are not necessarily focusing on self confidence with women but on just overall having self confidence – that blends into every other area.
For instance, look at a professional football player; they are obviously very good at football. But they are also going to be good at playing a sport they have never tried before because it just bleeds over. So gaining confidence in any area of your life requires being good at something and then allowing that confidence to resonate throughout your body and bleed into other areas where maybe you weren‟t as confident, such as getting good with women.
Lance Mason Share His Confidence Building Tips
The best way to build confidence is to take action – any action. The key is to keep taking action until you‟re comfortable and just go out there and do it. And then as you get success, the confidence will just come naturally. But I want to give one trick to really becoming a more confident person that most people aren‟t aware of. The reality is it‟s really tough to make huge changes in yourself and in your confidence when you‟re stuck in an environment where people already know who you are. They already have an idea of who you are and they already have this identity for you.
So if you want to develop confidence, here‟s what you want to do. Pick a new identity. Imagine you had a cool older brother who is a lot like you, but he‟s really good with women and imagine how he would walk, how he dresses, and how he talks to people. And then what you want to do is you want to take on that identity of your cool older brother, but you want to do it in an environment where people don‟t know you. So find a new hobby. Find a new place to hang out. Go somewhere new and pick that new identity, that more confident version of yourself and people will respond to it and they‟ll actually treat you as if you‟re more confident. They will treat you as if you‟re cooler. It‟s that feedback loop between this new environment that is really going to lock in this new confidence, these new behaviors and then yeah, six months or a year later, even your roommate will notice.
Joseph Matthews On Inner Game And Confidence Building
Well, there are a couple of things when it comes to developing self-confidence. Do you want it quick and cheap, or do you want it real and lasting? Because there‟s an old saying: “Fake it until you make it,” and you can fake being confident until you actually feel confident.
The idea is if you pretend you‟re confident, eventually you will be. I don‟t really subscribe to that method too much, but it can work. So a quick and dirty method of faking it is listening to music that gets me pumped up and excited. Music is one of the few things on this planet that actually has a powerful influence over people‟s emotions. If you listen to a piece of music that really gets you pumped up, you can feel really good and go out there and be ready to tackle the world, so that‟s just a quick way to change your emotional state, because all confidence is, is a calm and assertive emotional state.
When it comes to actual confidence though, when it comes to actually changing the way you look at the world, that‟s a little bit different. There‟s no quick fix to that. It actually takes a lot of work and self-introspection. Like for those people out there who don‟t know what I look like. I like to say I look like Tony Soprano‟s love child. I‟m 6‟1. I‟m overweight. I‟m bald. I don‟t think I‟m a very attractive man, but I have pretty good success with women and that‟s simply because I have developed my confidence to a point where I don‟t care about all the stuff that‟s holding me back.
One of the things you have to realize is that most people, they don‟t care about your insecurities. They‟re not going to pick up on them unless you make them really obvious, so most of the time the only person who has a problem with the way you look or the way you act or whatever is you.
You need to find out all the things that are keeping you from feeling that wonderfully self-empowering feeling of self-confidence and get rid of them. And the only way you can do that is by dealing with the root cause. When I was starting out, I was really doing a lot of self-work because I was very insecure. I was very down on myself. I would wake up every morning, look in the mirror and think, “Oh God, you‟re fat, you‟re ugly. No girl is going to like you.”
And every time I did that that was just reinforcing all the bad stuff that I had in my head about me. And when people told me good stuff about myself, I never believed them because I had basically convinced myself through repetition that all these bad things outweighed the good things. So I had to make that switch. I had to start looking in the mirror in the morning and saying, “Hey, you know you‟ve got great eyes. You‟ve got a great smile. You‟re funny. You‟re smart.”
I basically started picking out all the stuff about me that was good and when you start focusing on the good stuff and you start figuring out what the bad stuff is that‟s holding you back, you can create a mechanism where you move away from the bad stuff and you move towards the good stuff.
One of the things really helped me was listing all the things I was insecure about. I started thinking about what I like to call the root causes – basically the things that trigger why you feel that way. For instance, “Why do I care if I‟m overweight? Like what does it matter?” Well, I feel bad about it because when I was like in the 3rd grade the girl I like teased me about being fat. And when you realize what triggers those insecurities, it takes away a lot of their power. You realize, “Wow! Like I developed that insecurity and the reason behind why I did is no longer valid.”
So that‟s basically how I recommend people go about developing self-confidence – doing it the slow and methodical way in which they actually deal with their issues. They deal with their insecurities and they train themselves to feel comfortable with good feelings about themselves and they really start moving away from the bad feelings and towards the good feelings because if you don‟t like yourself, guess what? Women aren‟t going to like you either, because people judge us based on how we judge ourselves. And if even someone agrees with your insecurities, if your state of mind is more powerful than theirs, it doesn‟t matter because you can just either block them out of your life or get them to come over to your way of thinking.