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Okay, men reading this are probably thinking, right! The truth is that when it comes to friendships and relationships, men and women think on different dimensions. While it would be impossible to cover everything, we did want to address some of the basic thought processes of women and with this, you can learn some of the ways your actions and words are being looked at from a woman’s perspective.

Never forget that women are like sponges – everything you do and say is being absorbed, stored, and analyzed. The interesting thing is that from a scientific viewpoint, there are absolute differences between the way men and women think and act. For instance, women actually have four times more neurons (brain cells) that link the left and right side of the brain than men do. This is why men typically solve one problem in a very methodical way whereas women have the ability to handle multiple problems. Because of this, many women find conversation with men to be too one-dimensional and sometimes, boring.

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We all know that there are differences in gender. The following are some of the primary differences seen in men and women and while no person should change, we can all do things to improve life. Therefore, for men who want more from their female friend, gaining insight into the woman’s mind will certainly give you an advantage.

Solving Problems

Although both men and women are perfectly capable of solving problems efficiently, the approach used is unique. With men, a problem is viewed as an opportunity to show strength and competence. This means a man will place less focus on the level of efficiency in getting the problem solved and more on just solving it.

To women, the ability to solve problems actually has a direct influence on her feeling close and needed, versus distant and unworthy. When it comes to moving from a friendship to relationship this is important because if the woman views the man as showing too authority or control when problems arise, she may distant herself instead of finding his problem solving skills impressive.

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To women, the ability to solve problems actually has a direct influence on her feeling close and needed, versus distant and unworthy. When it comes to moving from a friendship to relationship this is important because if the woman views the man as showing too authority or control when problems arise, she may distant herself instead of finding his problem solving skills impressive.

Thought Processes

A woman processes thoughts by looking at numerous sources of information and the various dynamics of the task at hand. This means the overall thought process is broad and collective. However, because a woman takes in so much information at once, she can become overwhelmed and frustrated, causing her to have trouble distinguishing problems from her own personal experiences.

For men, the thought process generally involves tackling one or only a few problems at a time. With this, men tend to repeat information over and over as they try to solve a problem efficiently. Now, if you have a female friend that you want to date or build a relationship with, this is a valuable piece of information.

If you need to talk about a problem repeatedly as a means of coming to some kind of resolution that is perfectly fine but be careful not to do this in front of her. Typically, women do not handle this well, viewing this behavior more as a man being indecisive rather than a methodical problem solver.

You could risk your female friend as seeing you being fickle. While she loves you as a friend, for her to feel secure and protected, she needs to see that you have the ability to look at a problem, address it (once or twice), and then come to a resolution.

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Information Processing

As mentioned above, men do not have the same level of connectivity between the left and right brain as women do. This means that it is much easier for men to ignore messages coming from the right side of the brain, which is the side of the brain responsible for focus and common sense. In addition, the right side of the brain is what impacts a person’s body language, facial expressions, gestures, and most importantly, feelings or gut instincts.

Because a woman has a much better connection between left and right side of the brain, she is more understanding, intuitive, and nurturing. Chances are you have heard someone say that women just “know” things, which is absolutely true. In the realm of the “friend zone”, this uncanny intuition tells a woman a lot about her male friend so if anything negative or uncertain is picked up on she is likely going to listen and draw back

This certainly does not mean that a man is a bad or evil person but simply that there may be certain aspects of his behavior that keeps him in the dreaded “friend zone” and nothing more. To reverse the situation so the woman seems the man differently, he still needs to be who he is but also aware of the differences so he can be more appreciative of a woman’s insight.

Sensitivity Issues

Okay, when it comes to moving from friends to girlfriend/boyfriend, sensitivity issues is a big one. Simply put, to build and maintain a healthy, loving relationship, men need to know the way in which sensitivity issues differ. For the man, he typically feels validated when competing in shared activities such as outdoor events, sports, and even sex.

For the woman, she feels validated on a more intimate level to include communication, touching, and romance. If you want to impress a friend, then take time to brush up on your communication skills and watch what happens. Chances are that you will be surprised at the different way she responds simply by understanding her need for sensitivity.

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In summary, getting out of the “friend zone” and into a viable relationship can and does happen but you have to take a new look at similarities and differences between the two genders so you know ways of modifying actions and opinions. The key to success is to accept differences and even appreciate them. Additionally, try not to take your female friend’s nurturing nature as personal insults and instead realize and accept that she is only doing what comes natural by being helpful.

By learning these differences, you can enjoy a newfound acceptance that men and women are different biologically but again, having this information is a huge benefit to you, one that with a little change and focus can be very rewarding.

A few other differences between men and women that would be helpful to know so you can stop being just friends and move into a real relationship include the following:

Men have the ability to solve technical problems better than women while women are much better at solving problems or completing tasks independently.

Men generally take greater risks while women choose value of knowledge that she can than pass on to other people in educating them.

Men have more independent thought processes whereas women tend to follow ideas coming from other people.

Men are usually comfortable with their performance while women are much more critical of themselves.

Men get satisfaction from prosperity and a successful career while women find greater value in family, children, and close friends.

Men have a desire to achieve goals whereas women put their relationships with other people at the top of the list.


Now, the flip side, we want to cover some similarities that men and women share. Again, this information is important for men in the “friend zone” because once it is known what things men and women have in common, the man’s focus can be placed on building the relationship based on those commonalities. Men and women will always have different interests, thought processes, and goals, but having an understanding of similarities is what helps create a great foundation on which a relationship can be built.


Men and women both have similar or same viewpoints, especially when it comes to the value of family. Typically, if a man and woman share a close friendship, it means they are on the same page in many ways, sharing same values and opinions, having similar goals, and living with the same type of integrity in their lives.

Your goal is to appreciate differences while also focusing on the similarities that the two of you share. Let us say that you and your female friend have a love of participating in sports. In this case, you could set time aside to play tennis, golf, or whatever sport you both enjoy.

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If you both have an appreciation of Fine and Performing Arts, then again, choose events such as concerts, live theater or the symphony and enjoy them together. This allows you to capitalize on similarities, which means maintaining the friendship while having the opportunity to build a more intimate connection.

Value and Recognition

Even in friendships, a man and woman both have the need to feel valued and be recognized. The truth is that every person wants to be accepted and loved so if a woman has a close male friend, there is something keeping her interested in him. Even in the “friend zone”, there needs to be means of adding onto the friendship so a relationship can develop. With sincere support and admiration, a man can reach down deep to a woman’s heart, keeping the door open for more.

Dependability and Consistency

Men and women will make promises with the full intention of keeping them but things do come up that cause the ball to be dropped. While dependability is important to men, it is a huge issue for women. Therefore, if you are in the “friend zone” and want out, it is critical that you show the woman you are dependable and consistent. This creates a sense of balance and security to the woman, which helps her open up more while letting her guard down. The outcome could be exactly what you want – moving past friendship and into love.

And we are done with the basics. Now We will get to the actual practical techniques. Stay Tuned!