Once you’ve approached a woman and transitioned into a conversation with her, Attraction is the next phase you should concentrate on. Attraction is where a woman begins to think of you as someone she could potentially sleep with, rather than just as a friend or a stranger.

To explain how Attraction works, we use the concept of value. Value is what makes something desirable. Value for men and women is different. Generally speaking, women are more interested in men for social value and men are more interested in women for physical value during the Attraction phase. That is a vital piece of knowledge you need to embrace in understanding how to get better with women. So let me repeat that: women are more interested in men for our social value, where we are more interested in women for their physical value.

The effects of this can be seen all over the world in lots of different and common situations. For example, female employees often feel some attraction for their boss, regardless of how physically good looking he is. Women are often attracted to celebrities, regardless of how obnoxious they can sometimes be. Finally, if you look at a men’s magazine like askmen.com, you’ll notice that there are lists of “the world’s most beautiful women” but that the equivalent list for men typically comprises “the world’s most socially influential men.” In short, society prizes women for their beauty, and men for their social capability. Your task then, when you first meet a woman, is to demonstrate that you have high social value.

beautiful girl

Your social value as a man is determined by a lot of different things, but there are a few things that women specifically look for (even if unconsciously) to estimate your social value when they first meet you. For example, your general confidence, your sense of humor and how well you seem to get along with other people around you. We call these things attraction switches (also known as Demonstrations of Higher Value or DHVs), which we’ll go into more details of shortly.

You need to show social value to a woman when you meet her by using these attraction switches. If you are failing to attract women in your life, it is very likely because you are not using these switches.

You might be wondering at this stage, exactly what do you say to a woman or what do you talk about to make her interested in you?

Attraction In Day Game

Attraction building in the daytime needs to be executed with some adjustments to how you might do it in a nightclub or bar.

• Attraction in the daytime is generally shorter than it would be at night, only taking approximately 1-10 minutes.

Because you’ve approached her in a situation where she doesn’t normally get approached (or at least with far less frequency than she does at night), your value is already very high and you need to do less work to build her attraction.

• You don’t need to do much Disqualification (a technique to feign disinterest or ambivalence towards a woman) in the daytime.

If fact, disqualifying too much can actually hurt your chances with a woman you meet in the daytime – particularly if you won her over in the first place with a direct approach. A bit of light teasing can be good, but avoid the stronger disqualifiers.

• It’s important to show some Passion (whether that’s for your job, hobbies or any other interest you have in life) when you meet a woman in the daytime, and ideally, to find common passions between you.

Although Passion is a good value to show to a woman regardless of where you meet her, in the daytime in particular, it’s something that will help her become attracted to you very quickly. Compare this with a nightclub, where it could be considered more important to be seen as a challenge before talking about your passions.

Snapshot Theory

As you get used to using the attraction switches, it’s easy to get carried away and end up trying too hard to impress a woman or to reveal more about yourself than is necessary.

It can actually be very unattractive for a woman to know everything about you. Particularly when you have just approached her in the daytime, she doesn’t need to know all the details of why she should be interested in you, just that you could be the sort of man she could spend more time with. This element of mystery is very intriguing to a woman.

For this reason, it’s important to give her a snapshot picture of yourself by demonstrating as many of the different attraction switches as possible, without relying on any one too much. Think about presenting yourself as a well-rounded character instead of a guy who is just a funny guy or just a guy who is passionate about music for example.

In the next articles, you’ll see how it’s important not to dwell on any one conversation topic too long, even if the both of you have an avid interest in it. The key is simply to show her as attractive an overall snapshot of yourself as possible.