Today we will be learning some of the finest conversation techniques that will help you with your communication skills. Even though this post if focused on man to woman dynamics yet the techniques taught in this post are also applicable in all walks of the life.

David Wygant Shares Listen And React Method

You listen and react, just like when you have a conversation with anybody else. Take a little recorder, record your conversations with your friends and listen to how you speak. Do you jump in and change the subject? If so, you’re not listening. You’ve got to hone your listening skills. Do you react to what your friend says with enthusiasm? Do you carry the conversation forward by asking questions? Then you’re actually a good conversationalist. You just have anxiety because you allow women to judge you, and you’re thinking about the outcome instead of speaking your mind.

Dean Cortez Teaches How To Control The Conversation

I call it conversation control because really what you want to do is you want to guide the interaction. This means not answering her questions directly. When she asks you what you do for a living, don’t give her a direct answer. You want to deflect it in a playful way and then guide the spotlight back onto her. Get her to keep revealing things about herself. Now, you want to do this in a really creative and original way, which is why I use techniques like cold reads.

Improving Conversation Skills For Men

I not have space here to go into all of these techniques, but really you’ve got to learn some tactics. And when you have some tactics in your arsenal and you use them and know they work, you are never going to have those awkward silences and you are never going to find yourself being interviewed and having her ask the questions and you trying to give the right answers.

DJ Fuji Teaches What To Do If You Run Out Of Things To Say

If you’re running out of things to say, it is really an indicator of a larger problem, and that is not being able to lead and hold the conversation. I would say work directly on that. Instead of trying to think of the secret technique to keep the conversation going, work on the actual art and skill of holding conversations. So do the drills, talk to people all the time. Actually go out there and try to start a conversation just in a non-pick up context. And learn to keep conversations going even to the extent of really talking to a wall. And when I was learning this, I learned to just sit there and talk to a wall, and I realized that if can’t talk to a wall, then I’m not going to be able to do it in a cold approach situation.

John Alanis Shares His Conversation Techniques To Improve Your Communication Skills

Look, at the most basic level – you can always go back to Carnegie stuff of how one friend can influence people. And people will think you’re a great conversationalist if you ask them about themselves and pretend to be interested in what they’re interested in. That’s always a good default because most women when they talk to a guy, he tries to impress them and runs his mouth and blabbers on and on about how rich he is. As soon as you start doing that stuff you’re just another guy. So at the very basic level – you just ask her about herself, what’s she passionate about, what she’s into? If she sits down, you obviously have positive conversation that she’s interested in, and so you get her to talk about herself.

What you have to understand is you don’t want to get caught in the trap of having a nice neutral fun conversation where you’re just in a nice neutral garden because that would get you in the jag (just another guy) category or nice guy category, and you’re not going to be attractive. So what you want to do is you want to get very good at innuendo. So as you’re talking with a woman, you lightly layer in something that’s a double entendre, a little bit effectual innuendo. You look her in the eye, you laugh. You make smart-ass comments about what she says. She’ll make one back and so they become a rhythm to attraction, a kind of back and forth that women like. And when you get into that, that’s what really makes them feel the chemistry. And the way you do that is just by talking with women. I mean, just lightly at first, ask them about themselves. When they become comfortable with you then just begin to ramp that up, and soon enough you get very much a feel for attraction.

How To Have Great Conversations

The last thing I’ll say about that is that if you don’t feel that you have anything to say, well, you’re probably not a very interesting guy, so go make yourself into an interesting guy. I mean, there are lots of interesting things to read, to know, to be passionate about. And if you’re an interesting guy, a naturally interesting guy, then all of a sudden, you’re going to stand out much more than every other guy out there because most guys that she meets are boring. You know that you’re on the right track with a woman when they refer to you as different: “Oh, he’s different.” So you want to make yourself into a different guy, and the way to do that is just by being a much more interesting guy by mastering innuendo. At the very basic level just ask her about herself. That alone, by the way, will go further than any language pattern or pick-up puzzle that you’ve got because there are so few guys who do it.

Kezia Noble Shares Her Conversation System

I actually developed a system three years ago that is still going strong and it’s very powerful, and it’s called the “10 Hook Lead System.” It shows guys how they can never run out of things to say. The three biggest and most common sticking points my students come to me with are approach anxiety, sexual escalation, and running out of things to say.

Running out of things to say can result in a few things. It can result in uncomfortable silences. It can also result in interrogation-style techniques. It can also result in a girl thinking the guy is really dull and boring, even though he’s not a dull and boring person.

A great thing to do is to go in there and get an opinion on things. Women love to give their opinions whether it is on fashion or relationships or anything like that. Opinion openers are very effective. From there, you can hook on to lots of different things and this is why my system is very good because what I teach my students is that they can go ten different ways with anything that she says.

A terrible thing to do is to go into an interaction, just asking her questions and using low-caliber hooks such as yes, no, fine, thank you and what’s your name.

conversation system for men

How many times have you said, “What’s your name?” And she said, “Emily.” And you say, “Oh okay, my name is John.” And then it’s like OK, so what do we say after that because it’s a low-caliber hook. You can’t do a lot with it.

By asking her where she’s from, a lot of guys think, “Well, that’s really cliché. That’s very boring.” But no, she’s going to give you a high-caliber hook in return. Wherever she’s from is something that you can go ten different ways with. Even if you’ve never heard of the country she’s from, you can go ten different ways with that.

Entropy Favors Stacked Conversation Material

This is where having a few lines is useful. A lot of guys try to plan out the first few lines and then take it from there. I’m kind of the other way around. I usually say whatever to get their attention and then I have a few things that I fall back on. Probably the most common thing I do just to get the ball rolling is I’ll do a cold relief. I live in Boston, so I would say something like, “You know, you don’t look like you’re from Boston.” And half the time they’re not so immediately you have something to go on right there.

Conversation Builders Photo

But I think it’s more important to come up with little lines that set you up for good conversations because like you said, once a guy is in a conversation about different parts of the country or different places they travel, they do fine. So what you want to do is you want to come up with lines that will set that up for you. If its winter and she’s got a tan, you could say something like, “Well, you know, you’ve obviously been on vacation somewhere. Where the hell did you get this much sun.” She’ll say, “Oh, I was just over in Cancun or whatever.” Like bam! That’s a 15-minute conversation right there. So I think you need to be very observant, be able to comment on things and then have a couple of stock lines in your back pocket for when you freeze up.

Watch the video below to learn what not to talk about. This is important as well.