Where To Go With With Your Date On Your First Meetup
So you agreed on a venue and you’re all set to get together in person for the first time. You are NOT nervous right? There’s no need to be, you’re used to meeting attractive women. It’s no big deal!
Now, I’ve found that by far the best venues for a first meeting are coffee shops or quiet bars and lounges. Make sure it’s a quiet place! You don’t want to be screaming back and forth.
I like bars because we can meet for a quick drink and if things go well we can always order appetizers and then move onto another venue. Meeting downtown is good because you can meet at a bar, then walk around and check out some shops. There’s really no one perfect meeting place.
These are just a few suggestions but it’s really up to you where to meet up. You could also meet at a park and go for a walk. Or meet up at the beach. Those are all great places!
So, again, the whole point of this meeting is to see if you like her in person. If things don’t click, don’t be afraid to end the date. She’ll respect you for not wasting both your time.
OK, say you two are going to meet up at a bar. Put on some good clothes, you know, something you might wear when going out with a friend. Keep it casual but nice. Don’t overdo it and wear a suit. That’s trying too hard!
I’ve also come up with a little trick where I tell her to wear something sexy. It’s actually very easy to do this. During your phone conversation, just tell her to wear “something sexy.” This does two things. One, it conveys confidence because it takes balls to say something like that, and two, it weeds out uptight women who are no fun.
I’m telling you, most of the time she will arrive at our meeting wearing something sexy and she’ll even ask if I think it’s sexy enough!! Try it sometime. You’ll be surprised.
Now, what if she wants to make it a group date and bring some friends? Well, I don’t like that idea because it’s difficult to get to know her if she’s got friends all over her the whole night. So, if she ever wants to make it a group date, just tell her that’s not your thing and ask her if another night might work better.
So, you meet up with her at the bar. The first thing I like to say is, “So, you ARE a real person. What a relief! How are you doing?”
See, this gets things started on a humorous note. It’s a very effective icebreaker. Now, here’s something you never want to say when you first see her;
“Wow, you are so beautiful! You look way better in person!”
See how lame that sounds? That will make you look like someone who is too easily impressed by beauty. Remember, confident men know how to handle hot women. They’ve been there before. So, don’t ever compliment her on her appearance during the first meet. While it sounds nice, it will actually turn her off.
Now, both of you sit down and order drinks. Take the lead and make sure both of you get drinks. If she doesn’t want one, that’s OK.
From here on out, just start talking about whatever comes naturally. Keep the great vibe you two had going on the phone. Be fun and positive, joke about online dating and discuss your experiences with it.
Don’t talk about anything negative, like death, taxes, diseases, or politics. Keep it light and fun!
Now, sometimes a woman will get sexual during the conversation. She might say something like:
“You know, a lot of guys want to know if I’ve ever been with a woman?”
See, how she throws that in there? She wants you to take the bait. It’s a confidence test. If you start slobbering when she brings up something sexual, that tells her you aren’t a desirable guy.
If that happens you MUST maintain your composure! Act like you’ve been there before and you aren’t rattled by her comment. I once said this in response to the above:
“Really, what…do you have trouble attracting men”?
See what that does? I’m coming across like it’s no big deal by making a joke about it. Then she might laugh and you just move onto something else.
So, if things go well you can ask her if she wants to head over to someplace fun. Most of the time, she’ll go. If things aren’t going well just end the meeting after you finish your drink. Say something like,
“Well hey this has been fun, but I have to head out. It was nice meeting you.”
That’s it! Don’t give her a reason. Don’t say you’re not feeling it, or she’s not attractive enough or she’s too fat. There’s no need for that. Just end it quickly and move on.
Who should pick up the bill?
Oh, the great debate!!! Who should pay, the man or the woman? Well, here’s my take on this.
For a first meeting off the internet, just go Dutch. She pays for her drinks and you pay for yours. That’s it! This is not a real date so there’s no need for you to cover the bill. You’ll also get a sense of what kind of person she is by doing this.
If she demands that you pay for it, (yes this has happened before), then you know you don’t want to see her again.
Going Dutch on a first meeting is standard procedure and the appropriate thing to do. Trust me!
Now, the only exception to this might be if I have two beers and she only has one soda. In that case, I just pay the whole bill. It looks weird if you ask her for two dollars. Just pay for all of it in that case.
OK, now say that you really hit it off with her. You had some drinks and great conversation. After that, you went to another venue and had more fun. Now, it’s time to end the night. Maybe you walk her back to her car. What do you do now?
Well, if things go really well she might want to head back to your place. I really don’t recommend this. What? Am i nuts? No, you already did your job on the first meet. You had fun and built attraction. That’s all you need to do, no need to get greedy. Besides, if you are looking for a more fulfilling long-term relationship, wouldn’t you rather take things slowly?
So, just go for the kiss. If things went really well and she’s giving you all the signs, then you need to get a kiss.
Now, some women simply won’t kiss on a first meet up. No big deal. Don’t take it personally. I’ve had women who won’t kiss on a first meet and I’ve met some who will make out with me in the bar. Every girl is different.
But, I do suggest getting a kiss at the end of the meet. If she won’t do it, just blow it off and make sure you come across like it’s no big deal. There’s always next time.
And another thing. Don’t talk about getting together again. Make her wonder if you liked her enough. Remember the power of ambiguity? That’s what you want.
Don’t ever say something like;
“So, when can we get together again?
“So, let’s get together again this weekend?”
This is very needy behavior and it’s not a good thing to do. You want her wondering if you liked her.
Instead, leave her with this:
“Hey, well this was fun! Have a great week.”
You may see her again or you may not. Leave it up in the air.
OK, there is your guide to an awesome first meet! As long as you follow this guide, things will be fine. I recommend you use it every time you meet up with a woman. After a while, you’ll be on autopilot and won’t even have to think about it.