Writing Emails That Get Responses In Dating World
So, you have an engaging profile all set up on three dating sites of your choice. You have a great headline and you wrote up a compelling profile using the formula; Humor-Confidence- Humor (HCH). Finally, you posted five great pictures of yourself.
Now, you are ready to send out emails to all the hot women you can find…right?
One of the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online is they blitz too many profiles at once. If you do that, your emails will not be genuine and authentic.
You have to put time and effort into your emails and the only way you can do that is to carefully choose who to send them to. So, in order to make this work you are only going to fire out five emails a day.
What??? Only five???
Yes, hear me out!
When you send out five emails, you’ll be able to keep better track of your responses, which will save time. The more time you have the more effort you’ll be able to put into your emails and as a result, you’ll have more success meeting women.
So, now let’s go over how to craft a first email.
What we are going to do is use the exact same formula for writing emails that we used for writing a profile (HCH).
When you write an email to a woman, you need a subject line that grabs her attention, much like your profile headline. So, our subject line will be exactly like our headlines.
We want to make them short and ambiguous.
Here are some examples of subject lines. Notice I use the same formula, including the words “this, that, or those” only here, I phrase some of them in the form of a question.
1. I can’t BELIEVE you really did that!
2. No way! Did you really just do that?
3. Hey, what is up with that?
4. You know, I don’t think you could handle this!
5. So, I gotta ask you this?
Now, you get the idea. See how compelling those subject lines are? It’s very important to have an ambiguous subject line that really grabs her attention.
Once again, put yourself in the shoes of an attractive woman. She just posted her profile online and the next day she checks her email inbox to find it bombarded with emails. As she’s scrolling down, she’s seeing subject lines that say, “Nice guy here” or “Hi”.
SHE’S ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP!
Now, don’t you think she will be compelled to open an email with one of the five subject lines listed above?
Now, you can use many different variations of these subject lines but just make sure they’re mysterious and issue her a challenge. Remember women can’t resist a challenge!!!
OK, we have some good subject lines so now we need to write the emails. Once again, we want the first line of our email to finish off or address the subject line.
Here’s an example.
Subject: I can’t BELIEVE you did that!
Body: I mean, you went to a Giant’s game wearing an A’s hat!! How could you?
See how I did that? I started off the body of my email with a statement addressing the subject line. You want it to relate to something in her profile, or pictures. I also could have said the following.
I mean, I can’t believe you wore that color in public!
See, this one is even more powerful because it has her wondering, “What color and which picture?” That’s what you want to do!
Make her wonder exactly what you mean!!
That’s the power of ambiguity!
So, this is the formula you use to start out your emails. As for the rest of your message, demonstrate your confidence! Then finish it off on a high note with some humor and a powerful call to action.
Let’s look at an example.
Subject: No, way! Did you really just do that?
Body: I mean, you went all the way to Hawaii and didn’t even get a nice lei to put around your neck?
Anyway, I just got home from another awesome day in my life and I thought I would go online to see if anyone normal could catch my eye. As luck would have it, you did but I’m really not sure if you’re “normal”. After all, I don’t know many girls who don’t get “Leid” in Hawaii.
Anyway, I have to run. Why don’t you send me an email and we’ll chat sometime.
So, I started off with a mysterious subject line, and then I addressed it in the first part of my email. The second paragraph is where I demonstrate confidence and throw in some humor. Then I conclude by telling her to email me.
See how that works. Now, you MUST always tell her to email you. You don’t ask her in a passive voice to email you. No! You tell her because a confident, desirable man takes the lead in these situations.
Let’s look at another example.
Subject: You know, I don’t think you can handle this!
Body: I mean, you have a guy above you flexing in the bathroom mirror with his shirt off showing you his BIG guns and the dude below you calls himself “Mind burning Love Man.” How are you going to choose???
Anyway, I just got home from another awesome day in my life and I thought I would go online to see if anyone could catch my eye. Then I saw that one pic of you posing in front of the Grand Canyon. You know, it really shows you in a different light. What was your mood at the time?
Anyway, I have to run. Why don’t you send me an email and we’ll chat sometime. That is, if you can get away from your two secret admirers.
Once again, I use a mysterious headline and answer it in the first part of my email. I made it funny and hopefully got her laughing.
Hint: (Checking out other guy’s profiles will give you tons of ammunition! I just went online and found a profile of a guy calling himself, “Mind Burning Love Man.” Thanks dude, that one will work well for me.)
So the second paragraph is where I convey confidence, then I address one of her pictures making her wonder what I mean by “showing her in a different light.”
Now, I want to mention a few “Don’ts” about your first emails.
1. Don’t list facts about yourself. Notice how I never really mentioned anything about myself, like “I’m a funny guy” or “I like long walks on the beach.” There’s no need to do that in your emails. That’s what your profile is for…You see; the point of your email is to GET HER ATTENTION. You do that by conveying your confidence and showing your awesome personality. Once you do that, then she can check out your profile.
2. Don’t ever get sexual in your email. This one should be common sense but it’s worth mentioning. So many guys are saying things like, “Hey babe, I want to make you my love muffin and devour you all night long.” Ugh, just writing that makes me nauseous. If a woman gets so much as a sniff of sexual language, she’s gone!
3. Don’t use any passive language and don’t seek her approval. Always use strong language. A confident desirable guy isn’t afraid of a HOT woman. Be tough and take the lead.
4. Don’t ever EVER EVER tell her she’s beautiful or compliment her on her appearance in any way! That is what every other guy is doing and you don’t want to be like them.
So, there you go! Stick to those basic guidelines and you’ll be fine.
OK, so what do you do if she’s not responding to your first email? Do you keep emailing her? Well, this is something that might happen to you from time to time. I know it happened to me a lot in my early days of online dating.
In order to get by this obstacle, I tested out many different methods. What I found worked best was to simply wait a few days, then send the SAME first email again except put the word, “nudge” in your subject line. This is a very clever and non-needy way of getting her to respond. Again, send her the same email again and put “nudge” in the subject line. Most of the time this WILL get her to respond.
Now, if she still doesn’t respond to you then you just move on! I’m serious; don’t keep emailing her over and over again. Confident desirable guys don’t do that. You send her one email, if she doesn’t respond wait a few days and send her the same email again. If she still doesn’t respond then move on.