Some guys have a hard time having fun. If the club is not your scene, going to clubs to meet women will be difficult, until you learn to relax and play with the situation.

Usually, men are not having fun because they are on the prowl.

Start to think of the club like recess for grown-ups. It’s a fun place where you can mess around, be yourself and have a good time.

Relax. Stop searching for your next “target.” Talk to the person next to you. Just shoot the shit. Enjoy talking to people.

If you are quiet or have been introverted for most of your life, recognize that it’s just a habit.

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There’s nothing wrong with being quiet. I’m quiet – I don’t like to talk a lot, but I have no problem meeting women.

Once you have some success in your interactions, you’ll realize that socializing is fun, and you don’t have to be the life of the party to meet and enjoy people.

Once you have some success meeting women when you go out, you will see it in a new light. My favorite place to meet women is actually on the street during the day, but I enjoy going to the bar and meeting women there too.

Relaxation is profoundly important to being attractive. Simply calming down, going slower, and feeling comfortable in your own skin is enough to make you very good with women.

how to relax

If there’s one part of my “game” that I value most, it’s my ability to relax around women.

When you truly relax, it becomes much easier to control your focus and not be so distracted by outside influences. Your state becomes a bit more stable and your mind is freed up to notice her signals and her tests.

You won’t get upset by what people do, because you like to be relaxed and don’t want to experience tension.

It’s a choice.

Women love men who are relaxed. They interpret calmness as self assuredness, sexual confidence, emotional stability, and personal power.

You show them that you are in control of your life, good in bed, and used to people liking you. When you project this long enough it can become your reality.

You need to build this as a habit. It is not something you can do just by snapping your fingers or clicking your heels.

Most men are stuck in bad habits and have terrible emotional maintenance.

“Emotional maintenance? Vin, you’re starting to sound like a self help book for women!”

Great I’ll start putting that on my resume.

No, really.

Each and every emotion we experience has specific chemicals associated with it.

Every time you experience that emotion, these chemicals are released into the body and have a profound effect on many physiological processes.

relaxation techniques

And if you’re wondering, the chemicals associated with relaxation, happiness and pleasure are extremely good for you, and they promote faster healing, fight illness, and even cause you to live longer.

Good or bad, all of these chemicals are physically addictive.

When there is a lot of a certain chemical in your brain, your brain will develop more receptor sites for it… and the more receptor sites you have for a certain chemical, the more you crave it.

And to furthermore complicate things, when you are used to a certain emotion, you will unconsciously put yourself into situations where you will get more of that emotion!

That is a good thing if that emotion is thankfulness, not so good if it is anger toward others.

If you find yourself being let down by people in your life on a regular basis, or if it doesn’t take much to make you angry, take a good hard look at the underlying reasons why.

Even though you would never admit that you like those emotions, a past history of emotional addiction may be causing you to subconsciously put yourself into these situations that are holding you back.

Really think about it.

Stop and focus on something more positive. Ask yourself; what can I learn from this situation? What is funny about this situation? Write down 3 answers to each question and it will help rewire your automatic response.

You also need to start to realize the types of people and situations that make you feel positive emotions – and be sure to including them in your life on a more regular basis.